Getting Back Out There

Yesterday, this article was brought to my attention via NukeDad, a la Twitter. It outlines an interview with Ryan O'Neal where he admits the he made a pass at his own daughter (Tatum O'Neal) "You have a drink on you? You have a car?’ She said ‘Daddy, it’s me – Tatum!’", while at the funeral of Farrah Fawcett, his long time lover/common law wife.

There is so much wrong with this scenario on so many levels, but instead of discussing or psychoanalyzing what kind of man would do this at his supposed soul mate's funeral, NukeDad and myself, later joined by PJ Mullen and Mrs4444 can up with a thread equally as twisted to make fun of just what kind of an idiot would do such a thing.

Using the hashtag #FuneralPickupLinesForIdiots we came up with these twisted gems: *

• All this crying is thirsty work; what do you say we go get a drink?
• I went with the mahogany, that's how I treat my women. Do you like mahogany?
• If you were a tear I'd never cry for fear of losing you.
• They call me Milk, cuz I do a body good.
• I just feel really vulnerable; I don't think I should be alone right now.
• My bed feels way too empty now when I sleep alone.
• I don't have any plans tonight and the day off work tomorrow, you?
• So, the insurance company paid out all in ones, wanna see?
• We should totally grab dinner, it's what she would have wanted.
• You must be tired. You've been running through my mind all funeral long.
• Why, yes, I was named the sole heir.
• What's a nice girl like you doing working in a formaldehyde smelling place like this?
• So, how about we have some fun spending that insurance money.
• You shouldn't be alone at a time like this, how 'bout I pick you up around 8?
• It's so hard to find a date for these things.
• Just so happens, I'm free tonight.
• Your name must be Visa, because you're everywhere I want to be.
• Do you have any band-aids? I skinned my knees falling for you.
• Would you like a Gin and Platonic, or a Scotch and Sofa?

*I have not attributed individual tweets in order to protect the guilty.
**If this made you chuckle, not only are you a sick puppy, but you can follow us on Twitter.