Fairy Godmother Wanted

Happy Friday! It's been a long week, but now that we have made it, treat yourself to a healthy dose of Suburban Wow this morning at 10 edt/9 cdt/ 7 pacific. Here's the cheat link.

It's also Fatherhood Friday at Dad-Blogs, so click on over there (when you are finished here, of course) for some great postings on everything parenthood.

With the week that I've had around here, it's best that I offer you a post in the form of FatherHood Friday Fragments, because my brain has been sucked dry from well, parenthood. Go visit Mrs 4444 for some more awesome nuggets.

• Last weekend Eldest Weasel's Cross Country team competed extremely well in their Regional Meet (so well that I had to celebrate 4444's style) and thus this Saturday, yes- on Halloween, are moving onto the Sectional Meet. Next stop, State!
• Saturday is Halloween and as of yet I don't have any costumes ready or planned out for the Weasels nor am I properly stocked for trick or treat.
• I will earn my Mother of the Year award on Saturday when I will cheer Eldest Weasel and her team mates on, get pumpkins carved, candy bought, costumes put together and adorned on Weasels, prepare for dinner and have everything go off smoothly and swimmingly. Now I just have to find my magic wand.
• I am used to being asked "you lip too?" every time I get my eyebrows waxed, but now to have "you toes too?" added to the list hits below the belt.
  
• Dog Weasel is almost finished with puppy class and doing very well. She's smart and catches on fast. I wonder if I could teach her to carve the pumpkins. Nah, poor thing doesn't have any thumbs.
• May Snowball the hamster rest in peace. He passed away this past Wednesday and funeral services will be held in about 30 minutes, as soon as I hear the trash truck coming. I better get a fresh cup of coffee ready.
• The other night Boy Weasel (13) sat down to talk to me. Mid conversation he had a eureka moment and stated "Mom, I always feel so much smarter when I am near you". Translate that one however you wish.
  

Well that's all for now, I have to go take the trash out prepare for our daybreak memorial service.

Safety First

*This is a re-posting from October of 2008. Those of you that enjoyed it, can do so again. To those of you that haven't seen it, well it's new to you!*
*editors note ~ the orb light above the kids I can't offer explanation for*

We all have heard about the dangers encircling kids while Trick or Treating. Authorities from Pediatricians to to law enforcement to cheapskates have urged us to forgo the ritual of trick or treat in favor of a neighborhood party for the children. All in the name of sucking the fun out of Halloween urban legend the supposed safety of our children. So as my contribution to public awareness of safety precaution procedures I will share with you how we in Weaselville protect our children from possible harm on All Hallow's Eve.

Step one ~ One parent goes trick or treating with the kids. Around here Mr. Weasel takes the Weasels and a travel mug of 'something to keep Daddy warm', and heads off through the neighborhood. By sticking to houses that we know, we keep the kids safe and he ensures his mug gets refilled along his trek.

Step two ~ One parent stays home to hand out candy. I dress up pseudo menacingly(a hooded cape, some really pale make-up, dark shading under the eyes), set up the fire-pit in the driveway handing out candy and smiles to the wee little ones, jello shots to their parents(they deserve to get treats too) and giving the older kids a perfect Halloween scare. It's great and they love it! All you have to do to freak the older kids out is........ nothing. Just stare and don't speak. Slowly walk toward them with candy in hand while keeping your stare. Even the teens get creeped out. Some just walk away and say no thanks. This keeps your house from getting egged from lack of candy and means leftover candy for you.

Step three ~ No candy is to be consumed by children until it has been thoroughly inspected by the parents. Mr. Weasel and I always sort through the candy immediately after the trick or treating is done. We set aside anything that looks delicious suspicious. Paying special attention to any candy combining both chocolate and peanut butter.

Step four ~ Do not alert authorities unnecessarily. Before calling the authorities about any suspicious candy, you must first make sure that it is not a false alarm. The best way to do this is to test the candy yourself. If you eat each and every piece of delicious suspicious candy and don't die(other than from gluttony) there is no reason to alert law enforcement. You may have to throw yourself on top of that grenade, but the kids' safety is worth it.

Step five ~ give the candy a second inspection after the children go to bed. You can never be too careful.

I hope you found this helpful and informative.

****Wishing you all a Safe, Happy and Spooky Halloween!****

Losing It

It may surprise some of you that live under rocks to know that as a stay at home mom, I am not always calm, cool and collected. Sure when everything is running like a Swiss watch, I make this life look good. Every other day or so once in a while though, things just don't come together smoothly. Usually because some of the Weasels have taken stupid pills and get stupid silly, unable to focus on anything other than making my blood pressure rise the Weasels don't have a copy of my priority list.

When this happens, I tend to get distracted and lose focus myself. I forget what I had been working to complete and I still have to play foreman to 5 other people, after forgetting what tasks I have them working on. On occasion I wind up saying things like "Dog, take the Boy out!". Of course this only throws fuel on the giggle and silliness fire and hence I get more distracted and further away from having the situation back under control.

Trying to get Weasels to complete homework or put away laundry while Boy Weasel is unloading the dishwasher with green beans stuck in his nose and Smallest Weasel putting on dress-up clothes and dancing in the kitchen when she had been tasked to put said costumes away and all of a sudden I forget that I was in the middle of making dinner.

Weasels, like most animals in the wild and insane asylum inmates can smell weakness and will pounce when they see opportunity. When they get in this mood the giggle ratio rises in correlation to my stroke risk. The more flustered I get, the more they enjoy themselves.

The other afternoon, as I was reaching critical mass, I attempted to regain control of the asylum situation by way of yelling my bloody fool head off asserting my authority with a stern voice to help them refocus. Laying out specific and simple instructions for each Weasel, while walking through the house in a manor that would make the Terminator proud, picking off each Weasel and chore, one at time.

"You! Get that laundry put away now!"
"Boy, ditch the green beans and finish emptying the dishwasher!"
"You there, get those glasses off your face and put away with the costumes! Put those books away and get your homework done!"

Then laughter breaks out once again and I feel the hyenas closing in on their prey. Middle Weasel pipes up in between chuckles, "Mom, these are my glasses and I am doing my homework. I can put the books away, but then I can't see or do my homework".

This is when I just wave my little white flag and figure that if I can't beat 'em, join 'em and we all share a good laugh. Turns out that is all we needed to do to put the house back in harmony.

Best Dog Ever

Matilda the Hun (Weasel Dog) is now 16 weeks old. She is approximately 36 lbs and growing nicely. The housebreaking is finally going beautifully, after only 6 weeks of being in Weaselville.

The pooch is doing incredibly well in puppy kindergarten and learning nicely. Matilda is uber friendly, but not a jumper or a yapper. She enjoys play time for a few minutes at a time before transforming into a piece of furniture and napping a chunk of the day away. Every morning she acts like it's Christmas as the Weasel household wakes up and one by one makes their way down the stairs. She loves to be with people and is always really happy to see everyone and wants to play first thing in the morning.

This is where my only issue with the dog comes in.

I am an early riser. Do not confuse this with me being a morning person. I wake around 4 am on most days and start my day in peace and quiet with my coffee, computer and morning news. I need this slow and easy start to my day. I need 2 cups of coffee before I can be civil to anyone or anything. Luckily, I usually spend this part of my day in solitude. Even the cats have an ingrained instinct of self preservation and have learned to steer clear of me in the morning.

Matilda needs immediate attention first thing in the morning. She needs someone to take her outside right away and she is excited to have company again and enjoys interaction after the overnight hours sleeping alone. The dog and I are not compatible in the mornings, even if we are the best of friends the rest of the day.

In the past 2 weeks, Matilda and I have worked out an unspoken agreement mostly because that early in the morning neither of us are able to speak. When I come down the stairs she sits up in her kennel and waits quietly and patiently while I feel my way through the kitchen to the coffee pot and pour my first cup. I grab the leash, open the kennel, and take the Matilda out for morning relief in silence. Coffee in one hand, lead in the other. She quickly takes care of her business and then we reenter the house, still without any form of morning greeting. I then bring my coffee to the couch, flip on the news and open my laptop as the dog plops on the floor near my feet.

In 10-15 minutes time we repeat this process, still in robotic movement.

Within a few more minutes, an amazing transformation happens as I head back into the kitchen to pour my 3rd cup of coffee. Then and only then Matilda follows at my feet and after I sip we finally greet each other good morning and begin enjoying our day together.

And this is how I know I have the smartest and most awesome dog in the world. A dog who knows her place in my life second priority after coffee and loves me anyway.

When Weasels Make You Proud

Reading this post from Simple Father, brought back a wonderful memory and good reason why parents need not give up on the idea of taking the family out to eat.

From the time Eldest Weasel was very short, we have on occasion taken the Weasels out to eat at real sit down restaurants. We never brought along any toys or snacks or entertainment. If the restaurant offered crayons, great. If not, no problem. We were there to eat, not play.

The Weasels knew that there was only one rule and it would be enforced. That one rule was any misbehaving and we will leave immediately. Crying, whining, fighting, tantrums, crawling around the floor or bad behavior of any kind and Mr. Weasel would take the gang to the car while I had our food boxed up and paid the bill.

The Weasels enjoyed going out to eat so much, that we only had to enforce this rule once or twice, way back before Eldest made it to her 3rd birthday. As a result, we were able to take the Weasels to nicer and nicer venues on special occasions without fear of disrupting other diners.

They learned to grow incredibly fond of Japanese Teppanyaki. It is one venue that we can guarantee every last morsel of food would get devoured by multiple picky eaters. Soup, entrees, rice, et.al., would be loved and appreciated. That always makes the cost much more palatable.

On one family night out at a cook top, share the table with strangers Japanese venue we were seated, leaving only 2 open places at our table. After we placed our drink orders the hostess brought a very well dressed and debonair black couple in their 50's and seated them with us. It was obvious that they had been looking forward to a nice meal free of french fries being tossed around and matchbox cars being driven over plates. Immediately they asked the hostess if they could be seated elsewhere.

I couldn't really blame them. Seeing, at the time 4 children (the oldest being only 8 and the youngest 2) when you are looking to enjoy a nice and not inexpensive meal, sitting at your table can be a huge turn-off. I was mildly offended having been prejudged, but understood where it had come from. Things really turned uncomfortable though when the hostess told them that no other seats were available and that this would be their table.

They said an awkward and polite hello as they took their seats. We all knew they were not thrilled with their seating assignment, yet we all handled it with class and did not let the awkwardness get the best of us. Polite conversation ensued and they began to engage the Weasels in dinner conversation. We all had a very enjoyable dinner with good company, despite it's rocky beginning.

By the end of the meal, this couple had grown incredibly fond of the Weasels. Before saying goodnight, they complimented the Mr. and I on what a wonderful family we have and how impeccably well behaved the children were, before apologizing for initially wanting to be seated elsewhere. Noting that it would have been their own loss had they sat at another table. The gentleman asked for Mr. Weasels business card and permission to send a 'little package' for the kids as a thank you for such wonderful company and an eye opening experience.

A few weeks later a huge box was delivered. It was filled with baseball caps for each child and big, collectible, metal, old fashioned 18 wheeler trucks with the logo of a shipping company that does not say "Downs". The kind they only make in plastic anymore. A note was included from the gentleman reiterating what a pleasure it was to have met our family and how impressed he and his wife had been with our children. He also included a business card that stated he held a high position at the not 'Downs' shipping company.

We have often received compliments about our children, but this by far meant most. For we had knowledge that the Weasels had changed people's hearts.

I only add the details here in hopes that that wonderful and kind couple someday may find this post and know how much there sentiments meant to us.