Mac The Cat Speaks

*Today I have a Special Guest Post for you, by none other than Mac The Cat*

Hello all. Allow me introduce myself. I am Mac. You may remember me from such post as Ho, Ho, Ho'n in Weaselville and my cameo in The Dark Side of the Hundred Acre Wood. I have been residing in Weaselville for the past two years, ever since I conned Mr. Weasel into thinking I would be friendly to him and fun to cuddle up with. Today I am here with a public service message for all of you Tom Cats out there.

Tom Cats, do you ever get that "I've been neutered feeling"? With no one to climb the front tree with and talk to because you don't know who the heck your daddy is? You can't talk to the vet, because he is the one who amputated you in the first place? Your mind says, Yes! Yes!, but your body says, Meh?

Do you ever think to yourself, "I should want it but I don't. This never happens to other cats my age"? You see that sweet little calico climbing the banister, like she was born for the pole, and yet nothing? You've forced yourself to give it the old college try, cause let's face it, it's the only thing gonna shut up her incessant begging and whining, only to have her mock you to all the other cats because you weren't up to the job?

If you can relate, boy do I have good news for you. There is this wonderful product called Cat Nip! No, you will still won't be able to please that little calico in your life, but a few whiffs of this stuff and you really won't care! You will feel like Super-Kitty, no matter what your shortcomings.

So there you have it, Cat Nip. The solution to all of your Tom Cat problems. Now don't forget to regularly puke up a hairball on the carpeting, just to get some payback to those that did this to you in the first place.

Ho, Ho, Ho'n In Weaselville

I have mentioned before that we have 3 cats here in Weaselville. We really aren't 'cat people' so to speak, but have wound up with 3 nonetheless. They are all pretty useless, but occasionally entertaining.

There are two males, or at least they were before we neutered them. They mostly mind their own business and make for nice, albeit hairy, heating pads. Then there is Smores. I have written about her before. Having come to us very young after having been abandoned and being an underdeveloped runt, we never had her fixed. It is not believed that she is capable of reproducing. She really doesn't have traditional kitty mating cycles. Every once and a while she starts singing 'Hey, Big Spender' or asks the other cats if they've been in town long, but in very short spurts. With 2 fixed males and all 3 being indoor cats, it's not a major issue of concern.

So back to the story. It's 6 am, the house is quiet, and I am having my morning coffee and surfing the blogs. I can hear the cats and it sounds like Smores meowing "I usually don't do this, but catnip has this effect on me". Mack is all "Bow-chicka-wow-wow" I briefly head to the top of the stairs. Right there on the landing, I find Mack, giving the old college try to make a girl feel special.

I got my first laugh of the day and was lucky enough not to wake anyone up with my hysterics. I think he left her wanting for S'more.