Widgets, Midgets and Weasels

I need a lot more than Calgon. My friends Jim(Beam) and Johnny(Walker), probably won't be of much assistance either. It's just going to be one of those weeks.

Where to start.....hmmmmm. Well, one of the Weasels is putting me through the ringer. School, home and personal hygiene all seem to be buttons that she is pushing with me. This is not her normal mode of parental torture, usually she just ignores chores. But for, who on earth knows why, she has upped the ante. Maybe she is running an scientific experiment to test the amount of stress I can handle before I spontaneously combust. She should see results very soon.

Last weekend The Weasel Family made a really great video post. Much better than any of the crap you are reading right now this week. Problem is, Mr. Weasel can't find the right widget to download from his camera to the Mac. "Give me 24 hrs." he said. That was 9 days ago.

Next on the list, the stupid toilet. It had been running. We fixed it. It started running again. We fixed it again. Still running. We temporarily gave up. We started to adjust the valve manually after every flush. We would revisit the problem on the weekend. Enter the crash heard from bathroom. While a Weasel was attempting to adjust the valve, the tank lid fell. The lid didn't break, but it took out a nice chunk on the outside of the bowl. Should just be an aesthetic problem, but we will have to replace toilet. Flush again, water comes out the side in a stream like a peeing fountain. The most used bathroom in the house is rendered 'out of order'. We must now replace ASAP.

Sunday, Mr. Weasel heads out to buy a new toilet. He comes home with groceries. I didn't get it either, until he explained that he had stopped to pick up groceries on the way home because he forgot to get some measurement or something before purchase of new toilet.

He heads back out to buy toilet yet again. He comes home with toilet this time. Hoorah! He decides to leave it in the car for now and to fix it the next night. Fine by me. Monday night, install time. Friend comes over to help. Mr. Weasel brings said toilet in from the car. Mr. Weasel starts cursing. He bought a white tank and an almond bowl. Back to store yet again. Friend also mentions that Mr. Weasel might want to get a seat also. What'dya mean new toilets don't come with a seat? You gotta be kidding me! Well they don't, and he grabs a plain white seat while at the store too to save him from yet another trip.

Back home and ready to install. Mr. Weasel will have to go back to the store again. "Why?", you may ask. because he grabbed a $52.00 toilet seat! What the heck! What kind of miracle massaging, heated, self cleaning, gender discerning toilet seat do they sell for $52.00? Nope, just a plain white toilet seat. It does claim to be 'quiet close', but that is the only special feature. Mr. Weasel didn't see the price when he grabbed it. It will go back, just not right now. There is work to be done.

So friend and Mr. Weasel install toilet, no further problems. I wake up this morning and head for the bathroom. We just reinstalled the old seat for now. I look at the toilet. It seems small, shorter than previous toilet. I go to sit down and think I am going to fall into a black hole. My knees may soon be in my chest. This things is so low to the ground it must have been made for midgets!(get over it, little people if you must). I am only 5"4", and this thing was short even for me. It's bigger than the toddler size toilets, but not by much. It's short enough that I will have to repaint the bathroom. You can see the lack of paint behind where the toilet used to be.

I hate the new toilet. Hate it. And I am now stuck with it for at least the next 20 or so years. I can't tell Mr. Weasel I hate it. He put too much effort in, and this is not his natural forte. Besides, boy Weasel was in a rush to break it in, can't return it now. Maybe it will grow on me. Hopefully with enough fertilizer and water it will just grow.

I swear that these sort of things don't happen to other people. Please prove me wrong.

The Begining of an Era

This past weekend Mr. Weasel earned a few more gray hairs. He aged a bit in more ways than one. Saturday was the anniversary of his birth. To celebrate the event Eldest Weasel had her first real date, with a real boy, to go to Homecoming.

This is the start of an era that Mr. Weasel has feared since she was born. For years he has trashed talked how he would 'handle these boys' when the time came. He actually went to the Home Depot to look for boy repellent spray in the pest control aisle to treat the perimeter of the property.

Saturday was a jammed packed day anyway, so his mind was mostly distracted away from the main event. We had an early Cross Country meet and then a fundraiser event for SIDS of Illinois. Even with distraction, the more the clock ticked, the crabbier and more anxious Mr. Weasel became.

By the time 'the boy' arrived to pick Eldest up Mr. Weasel was just about to ready to blow. But also felt bad for the "the Boy'. He is a nice kid. We have known him and his family for a few years. He is very shy and was shaking like a leaf. He was definitely the 'harmless' date.

I however, show no mercy. I entertain myself by preying on people's weak spots. As we are taking pictures(Boy's mom(chauffeur) and I), I put my hand on the boy's quaking shoulder, looked him squarely in the eye and said "Mr. Weasel has been to prison,.......and he's not afraid to go back.". The boys Mom nearly wet her pants laughing. The boy nearly wet his pants but was not laughing. Mr. Weasel was grateful.

We then arranged that Mr. Weasel would pick them up from the dance and chauffeur them home. This way there would be no chance of Boy trying to kiss Mr. Weasel's daughter good night.

One daughter down, 3 more to go.

6 Random Things

I was tagged today with a meme today by Dad of Divas. It's a weekend, so what the heck.
Here are 6 random things about me.

!. I once broke the arm of a man who tried to mug me on the subway.

2. I am an East Coast Girl originally.

3. I wake up by 5 a.m.

4. I've been 'back roomed' in Vegas. But like this.

5. Served Dinner to Reggie White(NFL) multiple times.

6. I enjoy Phineas and Ferb to the umpteenth degree.

So, was this worth reading?

Potato Doll

Today my lovely reading audience, you get a two-for. That's right, it's buy one get one free here at World of Weasels!
I won the giveaway over at Jenny's Happy Life! It was for this really cool doll. This was her first giveaway(well maybe on the internet) and so she decided to let people gain an entry for every comment they left as long as they gave up some link love on their blogs. This got ugly and she wound up with 163 comments. Sixty of which were from me. After a while of trying to think up original comments, I decided to just tell a story about why I should win the doll, even though the winner would be drawn from a random number generator. But for your blogging enjoyment I am publishing a segment of those comments here:

Weaselmomma said...

I am going to keep leaving comments until yours are jammed or until you decide to just throw the doll at me.


Can you tell my mom never bought me a doll?


Just a potato.....


That I had to draw and cut out construction paper clothes and tape them on.


And I would love and rock and cuddle the 'lil tater.


I would give it all the love that a little girl could


I would have to keep grooming 'lil tater by picking the eyes off as they grew.


No matter how much I cared for her, she would start to shrivel.


And eventually rot.


And I would have to throw 'lil tater away.


Or worse. If Mom was making dinner and running short on potatos.......yeah you guessed it.


'Lil Tater would be pulled from my arms, Skinned, thrown into a pot of boiling water, and mashed into a starchy pulp.


Then would be served to me for dinner.
I always hated mashed potatoes anyway.


But this was just traumatic. Force fed my 'Lil tater Hanibal style.


Does this story, get me the doll?


of course none of this is true.


But funny none the less.


I am a pretty twisted chick.

And as posted by Jenny herself:

"And...I know she'll be proud of this...the winning comment was at the end of her dear "Potato Doll" Story. It should be published. It really should. My Mom has been here visiting and I told her the story, and she believed it. I had to explain it was just a joke, it was that riveting."

Proof that I am both sick and talented!

Traded Like a Rented Mule

So it has officially happened. Melisa, over at Suburban Scrawl, has saved my ego and dignity. She saved me from a fate worse than showing up naked in high school. Saved me from flapping in the wind, out there vulnerable, on the trading block in the great minivan trade-up. She has traded up for me.
What was I traded for you ask? A Money Can't Buy Happiness Basket, but it can buy Weaselmomma! Here's a description of the contents:
1. A practically new (still has the fill-it-in-yourself id card in it) Brighton knockoff wallet: You may remember this wallet from this post.
2. A necklace from Coldwater Creek
3. Large assortment of new-in-package scrapbooking supplies, including a set of alphabet books
4. Four CDs to use for working out; one is 128 beats per minute all the way through and is great for ab work or resistance training (Hint: do you like N*SYNC?); three are custom blends that can be used for spinning or treadmill work (or even housecleaning: vacuuming is way more fun when you are listening to sprint music!)
5. If you're not the workout type, I have a new-in-package Hallmark CD: "Relaxing Instrumental Music, Volume 1"
6. One hardcover, never-read copy of Anna Quindlen's "A Short Guide to a Happy Life". Never read because I'm both too busy and apparently plenty happy enough.

Total value: $270

You all should be really jealous. Melisa and I are practically neighbors. We have hit it off blog style and will now get to do the real thing. We may become Friday night happy hour buddies, and you can all just drool an envious drool.

I wish all the luck in the world to Chris and his quest for a minivan, but I must say that I am relieved race horse style that my segment of the trade is complete. But I urge you all to check him and this project out. Root through the storage area and trade up!

This whole thing has been a real hoot. And I want to see it succeed. A something for nothing scam, how cool if it really works. I cheer you on in your quest Chris!

On a completely different note, I love to travel. I seldom get to travel. The last time I traveled(for pleasure anyway) Mr. Weasel and I took off for a romantic long weekend at one of our favorite destinations, that turned out to be anything but a romantic getaway. That's a totally different post, but one that I must blog eventually.

Anywho......I am taking a trip. All by myself! Actually it's a virtual trip. I am going to visit Busy Dad! Not really, but kinda sorta. Any of you who have children or know people who have children should be familiar with "Flat Stanley". I'll wait while you click the link.

Okay? All done? Well I am going to send out "Flat WeaselMomma" to Busy Dad. He is going to show me a good time in CA. Then he will post about it and send it back to me.

Anyone else interested in WeaselMomma coming for a virtual visit let me know in the comments and I will add you to the list of the WeaselMomma 2008 World tour. You just have to blog about all the fun things we saw and did.