Wednesday, June 30, 2010

7 Minutes In Heaven, Revisted

Remember that game that you we all played in junior high? I NEVER did, but I've heard of it.  It was all about taking spin the bottle to the next level.  You would wind up in a closet with someone of the opposite gender for 7 minutes.  It was assumed you be making out, but most of the time it was just 7 minutes of awkward stammering, not that I would know.  It was supposed to be 'heaven'.

Depending on the players involved, it didn't always go that way, or so I've heard.

I never played the game as a juvenile, but I play it now every chance I get.  Only, I have changed the rules.

  1. I don't spin a bottle.
  2. Usually, it is just me and me alone.  All by myself.
  3. It sometime takes the form of a hot shower, undisturbed*, with time to shave my legs**.  Yes, it's more like 20 minutes in heaven.
  4. Sometimes it involves hiding on the back porch with a cold beer and resembles hide and go seek.
  5. If by chance I am alone with Mr. Weasel and a locked door, it turns into 3 1/2 minutes in heaven. because we get disturbed with multiple knocks at the door.  NOT for any other reason.  I Love you honey!
  6. Sometimes it involves those rare moments of a sparkly clean house and that never lasts more than 7 minutes in Weaselville.
  7. Most often it is played while cuddling one of the Weasel Children on the couch.
How do you play 7 minutes in heaven?

* Rare that this happens.
** This is so rare it can get on the endangered list.  Heck, if it continues to be this rare, I can get on the endangered species list myself.

Sasquatch isn't some wild man beast, It's a mom who has run off to hide in the woods, because her kids never would let her shave in peace.

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Tuesday, June 29, 2010

John Lovitz, SCOTUS?

Why is John Lovitz testifying before congress in drag?

I am so getting audited.

*Photos found on google images

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Sunday, June 27, 2010

A Beary Amazing Place

Last week I attended a brand building conference in St. Louis by way of an invitation from Build A Bear Workshop.*

Now I know what you are thinking, 'WM, why would you attend a brand building building conference? You have a great brand that is,..............well we don't know what it is, but we love it!'. To that I say, with a house full of kids, pets and insanity, I am not foolish enough to turn down an invitation of 2 nights and 3 days to go away all by myself and not cut up any food for anyone else.

In reality, I was incredibly excited to have been invited. Not just because of the mini vacation aspect of the deal, but because Build A Bear Workshop has played a Beary special role in the life of Weaselville.

We first started taking the Weasels there when they were a fairly new store in the mall. It looked fun, but it also looked expensive. When I noticed that BABW had bears starting at $10 and realized that we could say yes, we took the kids in. It was fun and we all loved it. The entire experience of creating your own bear was wonderful and the cub condos that they came home in were adorable. We liked BABW and would be back from time to time over the years.

When our daughter Claire passed away, my arms ached a tangible and physical pain from wanting to hold her again, not to mention the ache in my heart. Within a few weeks, I went to BABW by myself for the first time ever. I picked out the softest, most cuddly bear and made her just for me. I dressed her in little PJ's and would cuddle her in bed at night. She brought me comfort and gave me something to hold tight during long sleepless nights.


When Mr. Weasel and I were expecting our next child, we wanted a special way to tell the Weasels the happy news. Once again, I went to BABW. I made a bear, and dressed it in baby pajamas, wrapped it up in a baby blanket and recorded a message to tell the Weasels that we would once again have the joy of a baby in our house when they squeezed it's hand.

Build A Bear has indeed played a role in important life moments in Weaselville.

That being said, the conference was amazing. I learned so very much, not just about the company, but brand building information that will be beneficial to me. I met, networked and bonded with other bloggers and started real friendships. However, my real take home experience, that will stay with me always is the generosity of spirit of the BABW family. A relatively small team considering the global reach of the company. It was completely evident that these were some truly exceptional people that love what they do and really do care about each and every customer on a personal level. Everyone was completely approachable, warm and real. You just can't fake that level of caring .

After hearing the Founder and Chief Executive Bear, Maxine Clark speak, it was obvious why this was. Maxine is not what you picture in your mind when you think of the CEO of a large global corporation. Yes, she is a smart, savvy and successful business woman, obviously, but more than anything she is real and she truly cares about her community, customers and everyone within the BABW family. She has brought these values into every niche of the company from the stores and through the Headquarters BearQuarters. Her spirit was palpable through the entire building and everyone who works there. It truly is a family. Even the mood of how the BQ offices are decorated is that of warm friendly, fun and real.

The Bearquarters is decorated with the same feel and bright colors of the stores. It is a dog friendly workplace scattered with happy pups all around people's desks and bears (the stuffed variety) making it an amazing atmosphere full of people who really love what they do. Maxine's spirit, kindness, generosity and self, impressed me more than her jaw dropping resume ever could.

Along with all the information, tips and hospitality that were given, we also were taken to one of the local BABW stores and were treated to our own Build A Bear party, where we had a blast Choosing, Stuffing, Bathing, Dressing and Name our own bears to take home with us. Just to put whipped cream, a cherry, sprinkles and nuts on top, to my great surprise we were each given a thank you gift for coming. Maxine teared up at our being completely overwhelmed and excited when we were given $100 gift certificates to take our families to Build A Bear.

Once again, Maxine is touching our lives in Weaselville more than she knows. This Friday is the launch of a special limited edition line of ice cream bears for the summer of 2010 (That I fell head over heels for). This Friday is also the 8th Anniversary of the death of our daughter Claire. Thanks to this generous gift, Mr. Weasel and I are taking the Weasels to Build A Bear on Friday and taking what is usually a long and lousy day in Weaselville and folding in some sunshine and smiles.

I am proud, awed and honored to now be, in Maxine's own words, "a member of the Build A Bear Workshop family", because I know from my experience there that this is more than just words.

Don't believe me? Check out this video summation from

*Photos to come. My phone is being all wonky.

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Saturday, June 26, 2010

To Mr. Weasel, CFO Weaselville

Dear Mr. Weasel,

I have been with Weasels incorporated since it's inception 17 years ago. In that time I have been instrumental in Weaselville's success and growth of 400%, through my partnership with you. Along with my running much of the day to day operations and you being a key factor in making the company a good investment, we have built something that continually increases in value.

At this time I would like to reiterate and renew my commitment to the company, and my undying loyalty to partnering with you.

Over the course of my relationship with the company and in working closely with you, we have made a great team and guided our employs through relocation of the corporate headquarters 6 times, 6 children permanent acquisitions, numerous temporary fish, hamsters, frogs, guinea pig and long term dogs, cats partnerships with transient team members.

Working together, we have weathered numerous fiscal storms, company infighting and hostile takeover attempts from those climbing the corporate ladder. We have celebrated our successes and mourned major corporate losses and crisis. However, our stock never dipped by one one red cent.

We have built a solid foundation for a lasting legacy to continue the growth of our empire for countless generations to come. I value my time and investment in the company more than anything else in my life. It has by far been my greatest achievement. Partnering with you, to accomplish all we have together has brought me amazing levels of satisfaction. I look forward to our continuing success through the coming years and plan to die at my desk.

All that being said, do you think you could give me a raise. *wink*

Happy Anniversary my love. Seventeen is just the beginning. I love you even more today than this date 17 years ago. That's something that I never even thought possible. Thanks for making me your CEO and building this company from the ground up with me. You really are great with start-ups and I value all that you are, have been and will be for me.

I love you now and for always,


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Friday, June 25, 2010

You Might Have A Teen.

*Can't get enough of World of Weasels? You're in luck, as I am also guest posting today at Carrying a Cat by the Tail. Friday just got that much brighter!*

If the amount of unsolicited affection you receive is directly proportional to the amount of available cash in your wallet, You Might Have a Teen.

If you lose IQ points daily because you say things like "No, you can't go to a concert 4 hrs away in another state", You Might Have a Teen.

If the amount of help and cooperation you receive with chores is directly related to someone wanting to borrow the car, You Might Have a Teen.

If you have 2 small holes burnt into the back of your head as the result of lasers shooting out of someones eyes, You Might Have a Teen.

If you find that your monthly food bill is equal to the GNP of a small island nation, You Might Have a Teen.

If you have someone living in your house who constantly borrows other peoples things without asking, but freaks out when someone asks to borrow their things, You Might Have a Teen.

If you do indeed find that you have a teen, don't panic and don't call the exterminator. Try to relax and have a drink and this condition will clear itself up in approximately 8 years.

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Thursday, June 24, 2010

Don't Worry; I Was Invited To Hijack This Blog Today.

Well hello there, and good morning!

It's Melisa with one S here, and I'm doing a guest post today for Weaselmomma, who has left town to go to an event at Build-a-Bear headquarters.

As is her M.O., Weaselmomma didn't provide me with any advance notice whatsoever that she would want me to post for her today; she threw it out there on Twitter just about thirty minutes ago. I'm used to her spontaneous nature, however, so I turned on a dime and, well, here I am, shooting from the hip.

The last time I did a guest post for her, she got tons of traffic, only it was apparently more for the picture of her cleavage than for my bubbly personality. That's okay, I have self esteem that is good enough to survive that. And her cleavage isn't too shabby, so I consider my personality to be a veryclose second.

Anyway, with THAT out of the way, I thought I'd use this prime real estate to promote a few things. First and foremost, there's my blog, Suburban Scrawl. I know many of you follow me already (thank you!), but I always say "the more the merrier!" (I also always say "Go Big or Go Home!" but in this case, the former is more appropriate) Please come on over and check me out, and if you enjoy me (what am I, a piece of meat??), please follow me forever.

An aside: I dropped down Weaselmomma's list of tags just now and noticed that Joeprah, Greta Van Susteren, and Mariah Carey have tags, BUT I DON'T. Unbelievable. Rather than be completely insulted, I have created my own.

The second thing I wanted to share is a little raffle that a bunch of us are having, to benefit a blog friend of ours, Piper of Love. All I will tell you here is that, if you buy a ticket ($10) not only would you be helping someone who really needs the help, but you'll have a chance to win one of twenty-three (TWENTY-THREE!) prizes, two of which are iPods. You can to to Avitable's post about it to get the details.

Finally, I want to toss out a promo for tomorrow's Suburban WoW livestream. With Weaselmomma being gone, I had to find a guest co-host, and I did. You can go to our show blog to read all about her, and get your homework assignment. We are actually going to have what she is calling a "Flower Smackdown": you'll have to tune in to see how it goes (and what it is). Showtime? Tomorrow (Friday) at 12 noon Eastern time, 11 a.m. Central, 10 a.m. Mountain, and 9 a.m. Pacific. The link you use at showtime, to watch, is HERE. In fact, the rerun from last time is playing on a loop there right now, so if you miss Weaselmomma tremendously, go there and get a fix.

Well, I'm about out of things to promote, and I'm thinking it might be a good idea to do some laundry and eat breakfast before I have to go to work, so this hijacking must come to an end.

Safe travels to Weaselmomma...Have a great day!

(WHY are you still here? Go visit my blog! Sheesh!)

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Tuesday, June 22, 2010

Don't You Wish Your Wife Was As Sweet As Me?

Mr. Weasel does not like fly. He has gotten better over time, but back in the day, he was the guy white- knuckling the armrest and starting to hyperventilate because he was convinced that we were about to die.

I, being the kind, sweet, caring and devoted wife that I am, used to comfort him by rolling my eyes and comparing him in my mind to a two year old throwing a temper tantrum and holding their breath over a tootsie roll incident turned bad.. Yes, he's a lucky man.

Anyway, a few years back and by a few, I mean 13. $hit, it's been that long? Mr. Weasel and I were on a romantic long weekend getaway in search of housing in a new city that we were not thrilled to be moving to. We flew in on Thursday and home on Sunday.

We had a plan to make the flight go smoothly for both of us because when I am not traveling with children, I don't want to be bothered with tethering people to their seats. We would arrive at the airport early, take Mr. W to the bar and give him just enough booze to put him for a nap as soon as we boarded the plane.

This having been pre 9/11, the flight crews were still fun and often enjoyable company. We were on an aircraft where some of the seats sat facing other travelers. Mr. W quickly fell asleep before we even taxied. Luckily, my other seat mates proved to be a fun and social bunch and we were seated adjacent to the flight attendant, who was all about making her work day a good time.

We all had a good chuckle together as the Mr.'s adversity to flying was obvious to all in the way he gripped his armrest and talked in his sleep. By the end of the flight, we were in stitches.

When the time came for landing preparation seat backs, tray tables, you know the drill, I knew I had to wake Mr. Weasel, but I was ready to have some fun with it. I asked the flight attendant to pass me the oxygen mask that they use for the pre-flight demonstration. She laughed herself 1/2 silly and handed it to me.

"Honey! Honey! Wake up and put this on!! Quick, We're going Down!!!!!!"

He woke up alright. Screaming like a little girl. Thank God for seat belts. We were all laughing so hard that they were the only things keeping us safely secured in our seats.

Mr. Weasel still hasn't stopped cursing me over that one.

Lesson for the day: 1. Take every Chance you can to get away alone as a couple. 2.It's important to always pack your sense of humor.
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Sunday, June 20, 2010

Great Moments in Fatherhood

Father's Day Post are a dime a dozen today, an rightfully so, but I'm hoping to share a little funny with you that might be worth a nickel.

First of all, Happy Father's Day to all of you Dad's out there. The role that you play in all of our lives is an important one and you have some big shoes to fill.

Secondly, some back round; Mr. Weasel is a great Dad and spouse. He has always been a hard worker and his day doesn't end when he comes home from work. From day one, he has been an involved and hands on parent from diaper changing to sporting events and homework. He laughs and plays with the kids (and me), disciplines and guides them in life. He fills his shoes well.

No matter, we all have our moments when things don't come out of your mouth as you had intended. Things that sounded one way in our heads, don't always translate into the open air the way we thought they would. This happened to Mr. W. last weekend and I'm still laughing about it.

With Eldest Weasel having the new found freedom of driving along with the autonomy and independence that go hand in hand with the privilege, the Mr. and I decided to have a sit down with her and reiterate good decision making and the impact that her decisions can have on her life. We covered everything from what parties to stay at and what ones to leave immediately because trouble is brewing.

We have always taught the kids chastity in their lives, but know that we can not control their actions and they will make their own decisions. We just hope they don't choose poorly.

We covered with Eldest the importance of choosing the right guys to date and ditching the wrong ones.

Me: Never date anyone that doesn't treat you with constant respect. You deserve it and should never settle for less. You see the way that Dad treats me and the small little things he does everyday, i.e. making the morning coffee, to show love and caring. You see the way that Dad talks to me and jokes with me. That is the way you deserve to be treated too.

Mr. W: Yeah, make sure he is the kind of guy that will make you coffee in the morning!

Of course my jaw dropped. Mr. Weasel had not even caught what he had said and Eldest never let on that she even noticed his misstep. I excused Eldest and burst out laughing. I commented to Mr. Weasel that he forgot to tell her that she should always ask for cab fare home too! Mr. Weasel flushed with embarrassment at his gaff and shouted to Eldest, "Coffee after you are married!".

Well, that's my funny for the day. I hope you enjoyed it as much as I did.

Happy Father's Day and I hope you have a day filled with many more laughs.

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Friday, June 18, 2010

I Want

I want to bake you a cake and make your favorite dinner.

I want to hug you and hold you and give you 8 birthday kisses.

I want to see how you've grown.

I want to watch you open the perfect present and see your face light up.

I want to see your smile and hear your laugh.

I know that you are having a better party than I could ever throw you.

I know that the gifts you have bring you much more happiness than anything I could ever offer.

I want you to have a happy birthday and most of all to know how much Mommy and Daddy love you.

I miss you so much.

*Clarification for those of you new to World of Weasels - Our Claire, aka, Angel Weasel, passed away on July 2, 2002. Today would be her 8th birthday.

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Monday, June 14, 2010

Weird Dream Or Not?

I'm not sleeping. This is nothing all that out of the ordinary here in Weaselville. I am usually awake well before dawn, but I am also usually asleep earlier than most. It all evens out. Even if my sleep patterns are not the norm, I do manage to get by and still be pretty stinking functional for the most part on the few hours that I do get.

The past few days I am getting much less REM time than usual. Although I have gone to bed on time, I am waking up around 1 am to start my day. I am waking because of extremely odd and disturbing dreams about what would be considered mundane topics. To jolt awake in a cold sweat, bolting upright, over not getting hash browns with an extremely early morning fast food breakfast and finding that the wrapper had been filled with a very fatty, deep fried and delicious New York Strip steak in it's stead and that I didn't have the early bird coffee special, even though it was in my hand and I was drinking it as I came to this realization in my dream, caused me a huge level of anxiety. Enough to startle me awake to start my day and make me fearful of closing my eyes.

In reality, I have had deep fried New York Strips. They are spectacular and voted most likely to make your heart stop! That would be a bonus in any meal I were to be served. Why would it cause me such anxiety?

I have self analyzed this wacky dream and my insane reaction to something to so seemingly sublime. Here it goes.

I didn't get what I had expected. I went to a trusty source of consistency we all know exactly what's on the menu and what it will taste like at fast food joints placed my order and got something better than I had asked for. It did have it's extra fat to bite through, but the sweetness of the meat is well worth having to chew through it.

The coffee I had in my hand, it was sweet, creamy and special. I was drinking in it in and enjoying every sip. All of a sudden it was gone. I no longer had it to enjoy, even though it was mine. It was gone and I didn't understand how or why something so delicious was gone without explanation. Taken away from me in the blink of an eye.

This still won't make any sense to most of you, but bare with me if you can. It makes more sense in context. This coming Friday would be the 8th birthday of that sweet little Angel Weasel you see in my header. She was born with special needs, Down's Syndrome to be exact, (To us she was New York Strip). She passed away at home suddenly, in the middle of the night a few weeks later, while I slept. Her creamy skin and sweetness were in my arms, yet she was gone (anybody get the coffee connection?). She had been special and I didn't have her anymore, even as I held her.

I fear sleep when no one else is up and on watch over the nest. I wake early to take up vigil. I fault myself with having missed her last few hours of life because I wanted sleep. I wish I had drank more in.

Now that I have depressed the living daylights out of you, I want you to think of this the next time you are awake in the middle of the night with a crying baby, a sick toddler, changing the peed sheets of a bunk bed or lecturing an obstinate teenager and be grateful that you are.

You don't Want To Miss A Thing.

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Friday, June 11, 2010

What a Week!

Here's your reminder that Suburban Wow airs today an Noon Eastern/11 cdt/9 Pacific. Click this link to join Melisa and I for an hours worth of fun. Today's topics to include Picking on Me, Melisa gloating about the Blackhawks and teenage driving adventures. Bring a friend and send a tweet.

Today I am going with some Fatherhood Friday Fragments and covering all my bases.

  • Watching the Stanley Cup Finals with the Weasels, as I wrote about before, brought back so many memories of my childhood and the bonding that occurred while watching the Flyers with my Dad. Unfortunately, it was a little too de ja vous, as I watched the Flyers lose the finals in game 6. C'est La Vie.
  • Congrats to the Stanley Cup Champion Chicago Blackhawks. They won fair and square. They worked hard, played well and earned it. I tip my hat to them.
  • Finally, after 2 weeks of dealing with government agencies - I'll elaborate on Suburban Wow - Eldest Weasel is now a licensed driver. As Melisa has taught me, Oy Vey.
  • I took Eldest Weasel to lunch next door to the DMV at a brand new Chinese restaurant to celebrate with $5 lunch specials. The neighborhood itself is heavily Mexican in ethnicity and all of the employees were Mexican. The real surprise though, came in the beautifully authentic looking food, that when tasted, oddly tasted like Mexican food. The seasonings and flavor mixes were definitely not Chinese. It wasn't bad, just different. I'm calling it Mexi-Chin Cuisine.

That's all from me for now, tune into Suburban Wow for more and don't forget to hit up Dad-Blogs for some good postings on everything Fatherhood and Mrs.4444 some wonderful Friday Fragments!

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Thursday, June 10, 2010

Social Promotion In Blogging

The school system has been working within the concept of social promotion for quiet some time. Self esteem is so very much an important factor in life that you would never want to do or say anything that could make someone feel as if they are less than the best. It might hurt their feelings to know that there are people are out there who may be stronger, faster or smarter than they are. We wouldn't what that.

We make sure to give out participant certificates just for showing up to any given contest. After all, 90% of success in life is just showing up. We don't keep score in t-ball and we dare not ever hold back a failing student. They will excel at a faster rate if we allow them to finger paint their way to the 5th grade, before we expect any crayon work from them. The powers that be have even finally come around to understand that students should be given partial credit on standard testing for wrong answers and/or a lack of answer - it shows the student is at least thinking about the question.

I think that we should adopt these same principles into blogging.

Using myself as an example of proper implementation of this concept, I'll explain to you what I mean.

I write mostly garbage, hence your current reading pleasure, a modest little blog, you may have heard of it (Hint:you're on it right now.) but I showed up and wrote something today. I should get an award and 207 extra comments today out of the deal. You wouldn't want my feelings to get hurt.

I have been writing this blog for almost 2 years now. That alone should be enough for google to boost my ranking all the way to 7th grade. I could get discouraged after 2 years without enough outside promotion.

Companies should want to advertise with me and give me money, even though my audience is not large enough to pass the cost/benefit analysis test, because I am here and I am established as a mediocre blogger. They should want to cheer me on for trying my best.

I play nice with others in the sandbox that is Twitter follow me @WeaselMomma and for that you should be compelled to award me with constant link love and re-tweets to my blog posts, even if you think my writing is, well, meh. After all, I offered to share my sand covered lollipop.

I haven't earned should be granted 300 more followers and subscribers today on World of Weasels, just click the widget thingy in the right sidebar before you leave, because if you have the read this far along into this nonsense excuse for a post, you're diggin' it, you want to come back for more and just think how soon it will promote me up to being trusted to use safety scissors and we all know that safety scissors will boost my self esteem.

Now excuse me while I go dine on some fantabulous paste!

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Tuesday, June 8, 2010

I Won't Be Bullied

No one likes a bully, but we all have to deal with them at one time or another in our lives. There are playground bullies, school bullies, neighbor bullies, work bullies, etc. Basically, in any and every aspect of our lives, we can find bullies.

I for one, while not advocating violence, refuse to let myself be pushed around. I will stand up for myself, never back down from defending myself and take physical action when I have exhausted all other options.

The other day, yours truly was taunted. It started out subtly. I noticed myself being stared down out of the corner of my eye. I gave no reaction, but carefully kept monitoring the situation.

Soon things became more blatant. The staring was more obvious and in much closer proximity. I made full on eye contact to show that I was aware of the presence and the hostility. I needed to show that I was not intimidated.

Before I knew it, we were only about 2 feet apart. I continued watching my back, unafraid and going about my own business. Then I heard it, "You want a piece of me? You think you can take me?".

Surprised and extremely irritated, I did what had to be done.

I showed that cheesecake who's boss.

I'd like to see it just try and taunt me again.

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Sunday, June 6, 2010

Pre-Mature Father's Day

Let's say it out loud gang I'm poor and I'm cheap, the economy is in the can. We are all having to tighten our belts which is really hard as my waistline expands and be frugal about, well everything.

So when Red offered to send me an offering of my choice of their Father's Day wares for review, I jumped and said yes faster than your Senior Prom date. (That's your FTC disclosure) I could get Mr. Weasel the gift that he wanted for Father's Day and not chunk out the cash that I don't have.

Use the offer code 10offred to save 10%.
I visited the Father's Day Link from Red Envelope and to my surprise, they had lots of cool gear for Dad at really reasonable prices. Everything from novelties like a beer holster to cuff links. Lots of choices and prices that make frugal gals like I happy. I personally picked out The Mr. Beer Home Brewery would you expect any less of me. The Mr. had been wanting one and here was a great opportunity to get it for him.

When it came in the mail yesterday, I said "Happy Father's Day". His face exploded with joy when he saw this:

He tore open the box to see all the contents with the gleam in his eye of a 12 year old boy who had just seen his first Sports Illustrated Swim Suit Edition.
There is enough mix to make 2 full gallons of homemade brew and reusable bottles and barrel shaped fermenting container. It takes about 2 weeks to make a good brew or just one for beer I would drink. By the end of that time frame, I expect that Mr. Weasel will be looking as happy as this guy:

It's not to late to order from Red Envelope and have it time for Father's Day. Check it out. I did and I'm not just saying that because I got a freebie. That's my honest WeaselMomma seal of approval.

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Friday, June 4, 2010

Quit Your SAHD Whining

There is much whining going on in the media among Stay at Home Dads (SAHDs) in the past few months. Yes, I said whining and I am tired of it. Know that I love dads and SAHDs alike. I have the utmost respect for a man who puts his family before himself and yearns to be involved in his children's daily lives. I love reading blogs from dads. I love networking with SAHDs. After all, we are in the trenches together. However, I am tired of hearing the constant complaints of 'I get no respect from adults', 'I'm embarrassed to say I'm a SAHD in public', 'Moms won't let me into their click', 'I can't get a job because my resume has that missing time line' or 'I'm tired of people thinking I'm a lazy, no good gigolo'.

Let me let you in on a little secret fellas. I have been a Stay at Home Mom for 16 yrs and have experienced everything in that list of complaints personally. It's not because you are a man, it's because the very important job you have chosen to do doesn't come with a corner office and business cards. It says more about you that you have the priorities in life straight than an Armani suit does.

I am the traditional homemaker from the 1950's, sans high heels, a spotless house and dinner on the table when Mr. Weasel comes home. I have been raising my family for 16 yrs. Some days are great. Some days I could pull my hair out. Some days I lose it. Some are depressing and some fill me with a pride and joy that I could not find in any other line of work.

Get a grip on your own Confidence

I occasionally go to work functions with Mr. W. People always ask in conversation "What do you do?", then proceed with the look and "Oh, you have your hands full" in a very condescending tone. Much the same way they did when they find out that we have 6 children and assume I am just a human incubator. Once I was able to feel proud of what I do and state with pride that I am the mother of 6, not only did the looks no longer bother me, but they soon stopped. My confidence level affected the way people perceived me.

Find The Right Moms

There are moms who won't let me in their click either. These are the park moms with designer strollers and purses that cost my mortgage payment. These are the hyper-moms that take infants to the library for story time and not just because they have an older toddler that could actually benefit. These are the moms who only dress their toddlers from the J. Crew catalog and refuse to let them play in the dirt.

Instead, go for a walk in your neighborhood and find the mom who is playing in the yard with the kids and the sprinkler. The mom who is wearing jean shorts and a koolaid stained t-shirt. She's the mom you really want to network with.

There is More to you Than just the Title of Dad

You have interests and accomplishments. You have hobbies and skills. Don't let anyone, including a prospective employer bring you down to the least common denominator of a one faceted moniker of SAHD.

I too have been looking for part time work to help make ends meet. I am willing to wait tables, bag groceries or say 'do you want fries with that'. However, after 16 years at home and a tight economy, I am finding that because I have children I am losing out to 16 year old kids for these simplistic positions. Being a mother, they fear my calling out sick every time one of my kids has a runny nose. So be it. I will find my own niche and my own way if I just keep pushing and continue to have confidence in myself and my abilities. I can't afford to lose self esteem to any establishment that fails to see my worth.

You are NOT a Kept Man

You earn your keep the same as any other working Joe out there. Your job is vital an important to the well being of your family. You are raising children and caring for their needs. You are keeping your homes running as smoothly as is possible and you are building relationships that are more valuable than any paycheck. You are raising the next generation of adults. It only pays in kisses but it is the core job of your family. Anyone who has done the job knows that there is nothing lazy about it.

I have had many people, including my own brother, believe that I am a freeloader and doing the bon bon thing. I know to chalk these people up as being idiots. I work. I work hard. I just work out of love for my family and not a paycheck. You and I alike have sacrificed paychecks and luxuries to do this important job. Don't let the opinion of an idiot diminish you.

Now it's time to man up, quit your whining and start networking with moms like me and some other stay at home dads who do it with style, class and never any whining. Hold your head up high. Be proud of what you do and click these links.

Nuclear Family Warhead
Big Bad Daddy Rant - Who hasn't posted in a while and needs to be poked.
Clark Kent's Lunchbox
Real Men Drive Mini-Vans

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Wednesday, June 2, 2010

Weekends in Weaselville

Mr. Weasel's crazy and hectic schedule is starting to affect his brain function. This past weekend he had an epiphany - walking across the street for a haircut every few weeks was too taxing of his time and that I should take the clippers to his head myself.

I protested with small and inconsequential details such as, I don't know how to cut hair. I may as well been trying to explain to a cranky toddler why fudgesicles aren't a good breakfast choice.

In total loss of his mental faculties, Mr. Weasel threatened that if I wouldn't do it, he was going to do the job himself. I gave in, much like a would do in the toddler/fudgesicle scenario.

Mr. Weasel removed his shirt and took a seat on a kitchen chair. I plugged in the clippers and went straight to work shaking my head the entire time. About half way through this ridiculous lapse in judgment, there were enough large clumps of hair on the floor to build 3 or 4 bionic gray squirrels.

Monkey Weasel (10) entered the kitchen and stood staring slack jawed at the improbable scene before her eyes, "Dad, is Mom shaving your head or your back?!!!!!!". Complete with outrageous and well timed amounts of laughter from 5 innocent Weasel bystanders.

Mr. W's response was a simple and succinct, "Shut up", followed up with, "BTW, WM, I need you to wax my back today too".

Yeppers, this is what life is like on weekends in Weaselville.

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