Quit Your SAHD Whining

There is much whining going on in the media among Stay at Home Dads (SAHDs) in the past few months. Yes, I said whining and I am tired of it. Know that I love dads and SAHDs alike. I have the utmost respect for a man who puts his family before himself and yearns to be involved in his children's daily lives. I love reading blogs from dads. I love networking with SAHDs. After all, we are in the trenches together. However, I am tired of hearing the constant complaints of 'I get no respect from adults', 'I'm embarrassed to say I'm a SAHD in public', 'Moms won't let me into their click', 'I can't get a job because my resume has that missing time line' or 'I'm tired of people thinking I'm a lazy, no good gigolo'.

Let me let you in on a little secret fellas. I have been a Stay at Home Mom for 16 yrs and have experienced everything in that list of complaints personally. It's not because you are a man, it's because the very important job you have chosen to do doesn't come with a corner office and business cards. It says more about you that you have the priorities in life straight than an Armani suit does.

I am the traditional homemaker from the 1950's, sans high heels, a spotless house and dinner on the table when Mr. Weasel comes home. I have been raising my family for 16 yrs. Some days are great. Some days I could pull my hair out. Some days I lose it. Some are depressing and some fill me with a pride and joy that I could not find in any other line of work.

Get a grip on your own Confidence

I occasionally go to work functions with Mr. W. People always ask in conversation "What do you do?", then proceed with the look and "Oh, you have your hands full" in a very condescending tone. Much the same way they did when they find out that we have 6 children and assume I am just a human incubator. Once I was able to feel proud of what I do and state with pride that I am the mother of 6, not only did the looks no longer bother me, but they soon stopped. My confidence level affected the way people perceived me.

Find The Right Moms

There are moms who won't let me in their click either. These are the park moms with designer strollers and purses that cost my mortgage payment. These are the hyper-moms that take infants to the library for story time and not just because they have an older toddler that could actually benefit. These are the moms who only dress their toddlers from the J. Crew catalog and refuse to let them play in the dirt.

Instead, go for a walk in your neighborhood and find the mom who is playing in the yard with the kids and the sprinkler. The mom who is wearing jean shorts and a koolaid stained t-shirt. She's the mom you really want to network with.

There is More to you Than just the Title of Dad

You have interests and accomplishments. You have hobbies and skills. Don't let anyone, including a prospective employer bring you down to the least common denominator of a one faceted moniker of SAHD.

I too have been looking for part time work to help make ends meet. I am willing to wait tables, bag groceries or say 'do you want fries with that'. However, after 16 years at home and a tight economy, I am finding that because I have children I am losing out to 16 year old kids for these simplistic positions. Being a mother, they fear my calling out sick every time one of my kids has a runny nose. So be it. I will find my own niche and my own way if I just keep pushing and continue to have confidence in myself and my abilities. I can't afford to lose self esteem to any establishment that fails to see my worth.

You are NOT a Kept Man

You earn your keep the same as any other working Joe out there. Your job is vital an important to the well being of your family. You are raising children and caring for their needs. You are keeping your homes running as smoothly as is possible and you are building relationships that are more valuable than any paycheck. You are raising the next generation of adults. It only pays in kisses but it is the core job of your family. Anyone who has done the job knows that there is nothing lazy about it.

I have had many people, including my own brother, believe that I am a freeloader and doing the bon bon thing. I know to chalk these people up as being idiots. I work. I work hard. I just work out of love for my family and not a paycheck. You and I alike have sacrificed paychecks and luxuries to do this important job. Don't let the opinion of an idiot diminish you.

Now it's time to man up, quit your whining and start networking with moms like me and some other stay at home dads who do it with style, class and never any whining. Hold your head up high. Be proud of what you do and click these links.

Nuclear Family Warhead
Joeprah.com
BellasDaddy
Big Bad Daddy Rant - Who hasn't posted in a while and needs to be poked.
Clark Kent's Lunchbox
Real Men Drive Mini-Vans

Christmas Tree Awareness

Every December 1000's of homeless and orphaned Christmas Trees are adopted from lots, the back of trucks and grocery stores, some to a good home and some not.

Because of a lack of screening and back round checks of those seeking to adopt a tree, all too often a tree will be tortured by tacky lights and adorned with gaudy decorations. In the worst cases of abuse the helpless tree will even be set fire too, taking its new home with it.
I urge you, my dear readers, to spread the word of Christmas tree safety to your friends and neighbors. Educate adoptive families on proper decorating techniques. Report and shame the abusers.

We can no longer turn a blind eye to these atrocities.
*Photos courtesy of Google Images

A World of Weasels PSA

That's right folks. Today I offer you a Public Service Announcement to bring awareness to an problem of epidemic proportions. An affliction that many of us suffer from or that touches the life of someone very close to us. An abuse that is whispered about in dark corners, but too ugly to acknowledge publicly.

Well it's about time we take this suffering out of the shadows and into full view of society. For only then can we conquer the demon of Mommy Abuse.

Yes, we have all seen the Mommy with dark circles under her eyes, Broom Hilda hair and always looking like she has a migraine to match her eye twitch. We all know how she attained these afflictions, but we don't offer comfort or support more than a few words of platitude and a silent chuckle at her expense.

There are definite causes to these symptoms that need to be addressed:

• Children who take their clean and folded laundry, only to throw it is a dark corner of their bedroom rather that put it neatly in their dresser.
• Kids who argue about who's turn it is to take the dog out so long that the puppy has an accident on the recently shampooed carpets.
• Announcing, "Mom, make me my lunch, I don't have time" as a teen is straightening her hair 3 minutes before it's time to leave the house.
• Kids who scatter like roaches the second the word chores is uttered.
• The words "sign this" spoken by a child on any given Monday morning.
• "Birthday Party"
• Having a five year old crawl in your bed to whine and cry when you are sick with a flu like bug because Daddy is napping on the couch.
• Hearing Daddy growl and roar at children, while you are sick and running a fever in bed, because he was woken up from his nap in less than 5 hours.
• Waking the next morning and asking hubby "How bad is the damage downstairs?", being told, "not too bad", heading downstairs only to find yourself resisting the urge to call 911 and report your home having been ransacked.
  
• Sinks clogged with toilet paper (don't ask).
• Being reminded on Monday morning that you still need to take the car in for fluid replacements today (yeah, it's that bad) while you still have a fever, congestion and cough. It couldn't happen yesterday because it would have taken away from nap time yesterday was so busy with Mom sick in bed.
• "Mom, there are no clean towels!" spoken from a child who was just sitting on the couch atop 26 of them that only magic fairies know how to fold and put away. they do not exist until folded and put away.
• I fogot to bring home my _______ (fill in the blank).
  

All of these are signs of chronic Mommy Abuse and we need to stop the suffering! We need to help me mothers everywhere to eradicate dark circles and eye twitches.

What can you do to stop the madness? How can you join the cause? Well my friends, the answer is simple. Send an unlimited supply of Coors Light to my home. Start a fund to send me on an all inclusive Hawaiian vacation. Kiss the Mommy in your life and tell her thanks and how much you love her. Only with an army of husbands and children, can we stop the eye twitch. The hair is a lost cause.