Wednesday, May 27, 2009

Best Day Ever

Today marks a major milestone here in Weaselville.

It was the Friday of Memorial Day weekend fifteen years ago. I had felt a sudden and total loss of modesty, bordering on exhibitionism. I no longer cared about myself or held any form of pride or dignity, for the past 24 hours I had been in cringing pain. I had been in physical discomfort and had random pain and stomach ailments for months prior. I had reached the end of my rope.

The pain worsened, even after having been given something for the pain (Chiclets, is my best guess, based on how well they worked). Medical professionals debated about what was wrong and whether or not I needed emergency surgery. I thought my body would split in two. Death surely was near.

A Doctor came at me with a big ole elephant needle. I could have kissed him. The horse needle had been tried the night previously, with the promise of pain relief unfortunately it must have been filled with liquid Chiclets that was very short lived. I was told that this time it would work. I didn't care. Even the thought of a few minutes respite was worth the size of the elephant needle he wanted to stick in my back.

It worked. If I was still in pain, I no longer knew it. I passed out quicker than a Freshman at their first off campus party.

A few hours later I awoke. The pain was back. To quote Dr. Suess, "It started out low, then it started to grow". The Doctor was sent for and upon his return refused any further medication. I could no longer speak. It was time. The only further pain relief that would be available would be of the kind that I would administer myself. The doctor sat me up and Mr. Weasel held me for dear life as the doctor instructed me to rid myself of pain by causing more in the form of "push".

A mere 40 minutes later it was all over. I was still in pain, but that pain was eased as the most beautiful blue eyes in the world stared up at me. She was the best medication I have ever had. It was truly the happiest day of my life.

We named her Eldest Weasel (has a nice ring to it, dontcha think?) and today she turns 15 years old.

It's been a crazy 15 years. Those same blue eyes that took away my pain now roll at me and cause me headaches. Yet, those eyes sparkle like diamonds when she smiles. They give hints of mischief and speak volumes of humor. Those eyes still bring me as much joy as the first time I saw them.

Happy Birthday Eldest Weasel and thank you for giving me the best gift ever. You made me a Mother.

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Melisa Wells said...

Happy B-day, Eldest!!

JonnyTam13 said...

Happy Birthday Eldest Weasel! I'm kinda curious...does she like chiclets? Make sure you enjoy the next few years closely. Soon she'll be passing out at her first off campus party :)

Busy-Dad-E said...

I'm still laughing about "liquid Chiclets." After the regular Chiclets failed, the docs should've gone straight to Certs (the ones with retsin). They melt in your mouth, which gets the pain medicine in your system faster. However, this also makes them more addictive. Happy day!

Laura said...

Yay! Happy Birthday, Eldest! I remember meeting her when she was just a few years old (& I think once in utero at a Wheeling bachelorette party!) I'm very happy for you!

Bad Momma said...

Happy Birthday, Eldest.

Looks like Mom found the secret to tolerable childbirth: Epidural (followed by amnesia)

Tara R. said...

Happy Birthday to Eldest, and happy day to you too, Momma Weasel

Gertrude Groggins - said...

Happy Birthday Eldest Weasel! Hope it's the best one so far!

kat said...

Happy Birthday Eldest Weasel and all the best!

Tom said...

Happy Birthday to Eldest Weasel! 15 is a great age.

I wouldn't be able to last 40 minutes in that kind of pain. You mothers are a very formidable group.

E.Payne said...

Congratulations to both you and Eldest! I can only imagine the pain...actually I can't.

WeaselMomma said...

@ Melisa, Kat & Gertrude ~ I will pass those along.

@ Jonny Tam ~ I know it and the closer it gets the faster it happens.

@ BusyDadE ~ At that point a hammer to the head would have been fine by me.

@ Laura ~ Wheeling was Boy Weasel, but that's okay.

@ BadMomma ~ If only the epidural had worked the first time.

@ Tara ~ Thank you. That was 15 yrs and whole different body ago.

@ Tom ~ Not like I had a choice at that point in time, but it makes water boarding look like child's play.

@ E.Payne ~ I only mention the pain as a gift to Eldest. The thought of me in pain must be giving her tremendous satisfaction.

Pam said...

happy birthday to the eldest weasel. didn't it seem to go by fast? that's how it felt for me, then the next thing i knew my oldest was 18, then 21. *sigh*

SurprisedMom said...

Happy, Happy Birthday Eldest! I want to thank you for introducing my family to yours!
15 is a wonderful year. I know, I asked The Youngest.
And WeaselMomma? I have felt your pain . . . literally. Isn't it nice to be able to give your daughter a gift like this on her birthday!

Oscar said...

Happy Birthday "Eldest"

You always make me smile with you humorous descriptions.

Mike said...

And she's been calling your "Mother" ever since. Happy b-day to the Eldest....

Michelle said...

Awww, how sweet. Ok except for the extreme pain part. Happy Birthday to Eldest! I hope you're doing something fun for and with her.

And I'm glad that someone else was in paralyzing pain. I literally would be midstep and unable to move a muscle and almost fall over -- thankfully my husband was next to me to catch my immobile tree of a body trying to go timber. Everyone else looks at my like I'm nuts.

NukeDad said...

Happy Birthday you little rodent. ;)

40 minutes? Ouch. NukeBoy1 was a 36 hour labor for NukeMom. She wouldn't let me touch her for a year.

Steely Dad said...

And to think you did the same thing four more times after that experience! I guess time does heal all wounds. Congrats! I bet it seems like yesterday.

de-I said...

Nicely written WM - such a vivid picture - humor, the vivid expression of pain, the reward.

And isn't that so much the experience of having children - pain and joy all rolled into one and without question the thing we needed to do.

WeaselMomma said...

@ Ciara ~ It did go by so fast.

@ Surprised ~ I spoke of myself in physical pain because that's what every teen wants for their birthday.

@ Oscar ~ As always, I'm glad to be here for ya.

@ Mike ~ Oh yes she has.

@ Michelle ~ I never had that happen, but I wouldn't look at you like your nuts either.

@ NukeDad ~ Go get some sleep. 40 minutes was just the Grand Finale song and dance.

@ Steely ~ My problem is I always fell for it after Mr. Weasel liquored me up.

@ de-I ~ I think you've summed it up perfectly.

Mrs4444 said...

Happy Belated Birthday, Eldest! Weaselmomma, I think it's crazy that you have a 15 year old kid. Are you sure you got that right?!

Jason said...

Happy belated birthday to Eldest!!

Cheffie-Mom said...

Happy Birthday to you, Eldest!!

Mr. Man said...

When you said her eyes, "now roll at me and give me headaches", I almost fell out of my seat with laughter.

Thanks for sharing! Happy Belated B-Day eldest Weasel.

Otter Thomas said...

Happy birthday Eldest Weasel. It certainly has a better ring than first weasel.

According to my wife those elephant needles are marvelous things.

terri said...

Happy Birthday to the Eldest! Boy, she made you work for it, didn't she?

Liz@thisfullhouse said... eldest is 15, too and I swear I can STILL feel the burn :) Happy Birthday to your Eldest!

Frogs in my formula said...

Happy birthday! If Weaselville is anywhere near Mulletville, stop by and I'll buy you a drink.

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