*Before we get started today I want to draw your attention to
Big Bad Daddy Rant and his
caption contest for this hysterical picture. Go click it, you can thank me when you get back.*
Any of you who have seen the livestream show that
Melisa with 1 S and host together,
Suburban WoW, are aware that I am unable to read anything at a distance of an arms length. You had heard me on the receiving end of a few friendly jabs about my eyesight.
Mr. Weasel has also been ribbing me for years about my inability to read signs at great distances. I ignore him. He has some kind of crazy hawk like super vision. I may need some mild prescription for reading, but my overall sight is just fine. I've never need glasses and haven't even needed an exam since 1992.
While making all the back to school appointments for rabies shots, et al, I decided to get an eye appointment for myself too. I figured it was time for my 17 year re-check.
After a quick puff of air in the eyes, the doc gives me some 3-D glasses to don and card filled with 10 separate sets of 4 circles each. "Tell me which one jumps out of each set. Right, left, etc", were the instructions.
Me ~ 1, left. 2, right, 3.......nothing is jumping.
Doc ~ Okay, go to 4.
Me ~ Nothing.
Doc ~ 5?
Me ~ nothing.
Doc ~ While visibly laughing at me ~ Okay, never mind. 1992 did you say?
Moving on to the semi-darkened room and the eye chart.
Read the bottom line.
Ummm, can't.
Okay, read the next one up.
E, V, G, T, H.
Em-hmm
Cover your left eye and read it.
E,.......V.........G?.......T..........H
You guessed.
Cover your right eye (and he switches screens) and read the same line.
You changed screens on me, just when I had it memorized.
Yup.
I can't read it. Let me use both eyes and I can.
Next step was to place some Mr. Magoo style frames on my face and switch out lenses. This or this, this or this, this or this......you know the deal. Doc hands me a card and points to section that he wants me to read with print so small it must have been a legal waiver of responsibility.
Me ~ I can't even tell you what language that is written in.
Doc ~ Well okay. ~ he grabs yet another lens and holds it in front of the ones I am already wearing.
--------
And Then There Were Words--------
Me ~ Heck, that is English!
Doc ~ Read it for me.
Me ~ Only if I can hold it right here (about 8 inches from my face).
Doc, continued laughing at me.
Me ~ Okay, so we are talking glasses.
Doc ~ Oh, yeah.
Me ~ Do I have to wear them all the time? (the unspoken being, 'or only for reading or driving')
Doc ~ No, you don't have to wear them all the time.
ONLY WHEN YOU WANT TO SEE! (Ba Dam Bump)
Bottom line, the Doc wrote me up for TRI-Focals, with a side of astigmatism.
I pick them up this week. If you want to see their public debut, you will have to tune in this Friday @ 10am edt/ 9cdt/7 pacific to watch
Suburban Wow.
Click right here for the quick cheater link.