Wednesday, September 23, 2009

The Birds And The Bees - Weasel Style

Last night at the dinner table the Weasels were giggling and snickering about the birds and the bees. It was just I and the 4 younger Weasels as Mr. W and Eldest were not yet home for the day. Overhearing the innocuous conversation, I asked "what's so funny". "You know, snicker, snicker, the birds and the bees'. "What about them?" I asked. "Birds fly and bees sting." -----MOOOOMMMMM, you know........about the birds and the bees???????
I insisted that I didn't know and that they should give me 'the talk', which they all did one at a time after dinner. Thus begins our series The Birds and The Bees - Weasel Style

Part I
Smallest Weasel (age 5, Kindergarten)
SW - You know how the bee is the boy and the bird is the girl and they have bee babies and bird babies, but they are people and have people babies?
Me - Huh?
SW - They have this thing in their stomach that allows them to have babies and the babies come out of the bellybutton - but I'm just guessing.
Me - Do they have bird babies or bee babies?
SW - No the people do! They are all people! I can't believe you are writing this down. Can I give this to my teacher? She will be surprised.
Me - No, I am writing this down to make sure I don't forget anything. Yes, you're teacher would be very surprised, but these notes are for mommy.
SW - Or they give them surgery -all the moms- if they want to have kids.
Is this how 'the talk' works?
Me - What talk?
SW - The Talk. You're mom and dad never gave you the talk? You're not getting this are you? They (the other Weasels) told me once, but I forget it. The talk is about how they get married and stuff. Before they get married they have babies --No, no, no.--After they get married. Sometimes people make a rattle thing and it hurts for them to get the babies out.

Stay tuned to read what the other Weasels have to teach their mother.

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Scott said...

I can't wait for this conversation to happen in my house. I'll have to take a page out of your book and make sure I have a pen and paper handy.

I look forward to hearing from the other Weasels.

OhCaptain said...

I think I'm confused. How does this 'talk' work? If that was it,'s a piece of cake!

I'm afraid to ask the OhPrincess' about this. In case it leads to the actual 'talk', then I panic and run out of the room yelling, "Ma! A little help!"

surprised mom said...

OMG, I'm laughing too hard to say anything more than I think I'll learn a lot about the "birds and bees" from the Weasels!

de-I said...

Damnation - I never realized what I didn't know. Can't wait for the next installment.

seashore subjects said...

Love how they (people/birds/whatever) are coming out of the belly button! I knew those things had to have a purpose (other than to be pierced I mean).

Melisa with one S said...

I heart Smallest Weasel.

Eric said...

My wife is pregnant again. This will be the third time my nearly 4 year old daughter has witnessed her mom being pregnant. Only the second she can remember..

But.. Since mommy had a girl last time.. I guess she thinks that mommy's have girls.. Because she was laying with me on the floor one day, saw that her dad was not as slim as he used to be and said that I was having a boy..


JonnyTam13 said...

This is perfect. I'm going to completely avoid having the talk with my kids until they have it with me. Sounds like much more fun (and way less uncomfortable...for me at least)

MaNiC MoMMy™ said...

Dying to know what the 'rattle thing' is. ... Like maybe a rattle snake? THat might put things into perspective! Classic bird and bee talk. Love it!

Heather said...

That was incredibly hilarious and I cannot wait for the other examples.

Smallest Weasel is SO CUTE!

PJ Mullen said...

Surgery? Are they covering C sections in Kindergarten?

michaelsmommy said...

Thats so funny! Just yesterday Michael asked where babies come from. This is after being told that he kissed a girl on the lips at school. YIKES!!!

The Microblogologist said...

Oh I totally love it! Can we have Smallest give Niecey "the talk"?

Michelle said...

OMG that cracks me up! She's hilarious. I would love to ask the wee ones this but I'm also afraid, very afraid. Such a sweet girl!

The PhD Mommy said...

Hilarious! Good idea writing this stuff down!

Oscar said...

I think SW is right.

I do!

Mrs4444 said...

Pri-tty scary....and funny.

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