Tuesday, September 22, 2009

Letter To The Editor

*I have been busier than a pimp at a Senators convention lately. I haven't for gotten about you though. There's no time for me to write today, so I am offering you this gem that I found in my email today. I don't know who the author is, so I can't attribute well deserved credit, but you're sure to get a laugh.* Without further ado:

It is important for men to remember that, as women grow older, it becomes
harder for them to maintain the same quality of housekeeping as when they were younger. When you notice this, try not to yell at them. Some are oversensitive, and there's nothing worse than an oversensitive woman .

My name is Jim. Let me relate how I handled the situation with my wife,
Peggy. When I retired a few years ago, it became necessary for Peggy to get a full-time job along with her part-time job, both for extra income and for the health benefits that we needed. Shortly after she started working, I noticed she was beginning to show her age. I usually get home from the golf club about the same time she gets home from work.

Although she knows how hungry I am, she almost always says she has to rest
for half an hour or so before she starts dinner. I don't yell at her. Instead, I tell her to take her time and just wake me when she gets dinner on the table. I generally have lunch in the Men's Grill at the club so eating out is not reasonable. I'm ready for some home-cooked grub when I hit that door.

She used to do the dishes as soon as we finished eating. But now it's not
unusual for them to sit on the table for several hours after dinner. I do what I can by diplomatically reminding her several times each evening that they won't clean themselves. I know she really appreciates this, as it does seem to motivate her to get them done before she goes to bed.

Another symptom of aging is complaining, I think. For example she will say
that it is difficult for her to find time to pay the monthly bills during her lunch hour. But, boys, we take 'em for better or worse, so I just smile and offer encouragement. I tell her to stretch it out over two or even three days. That way she won't have to rush so much. I also remind her that missing lunch completely now and then wouldn't hurt her any (if you know what I mean). I like to think tact is one of my strong points.

When doing simple jobs, she seems to think she needs more rest periods. She
had to take a break when she was only half finished mowing the yard. I try not to make a scene. I'm a fair man. I tell her to fix herself a nice, big, cold glass of freshly squeezed lemonade and just sit for a while. And, as long as she is making one for herself, she may as well make one for me too.

I know that I probably look like a saint in the way I support Peggy. I'm
not saying that showing this much consideration is easy. Many men will find it difficult. Some will find it impossible! Nobody knows better than I do how frustrating women get as they get older. However, guys, even if you just use a little more tact and less criticism of your aging wife because of this article, I will consider that writing it was well worthwhile. After all, we are put on this earth to help each other.

Signed, Jim


Jim died suddenly on May 7 of a perforated rectum. The police report says
he was found with a Calloway extra long 50-inch Big Bertha Driver II golf club jammed up his rear end, with barely 5 inches of grip showing and a sledge hammer lying nearby. His wife Peggy was arrested and charged with murder. The all-woman jury took only 15 minutes to find her "Not Guilty," accepting her defense that Jim somehow, without looking, accidentally sat down on his golf club.

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Melisa with one S said...

haha, good one.

I was cringing a bit towards the middle because I was expecting that it would eventually turn into an ad for sexual enhancements.

Mr. Man said...

Soooo....what's the joke?

Just kidding. Very good one.

Tom said...

This is why I take my wife out to eat once in awhile, even if I have had lunch at the Men's Grill. She's usually too busy ironing my shirts anyway. :-)

thepoolman said...

That is great!!!!

PJ Mullen said...

Sounds like Jim is lucky that is the only thing that was perforated :)

WeaselMomma said...

@ Melisa & Mr. Man ~ It just made me laugh and I thought I would share.

@ Tom ~ You should keep those golf clubs under lack and key.

@ Poolman ~ Glad you enjoyed it, wish I could take credit.

@ PJ ~ This way you know for sure it wasn't Mr. Weasel.

seashore subjects said...

LOL! thanks for the giggle!

Michelle said...

Ahhh, love it! I can only hope that all juries can find so just a verdict ;)

terri said...

Uh huh! Uh huh! Good ol' Jim got what he had comin'!

DysFUNctional Mom said...

The author is a genius!

surprised mom said...

Loved this one! Thanks for the laugh!

Mrs4444 said...

I've never read this before; it's great :)

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