My Ego.......Rest in Peace?

I like cookies. You like cookies. We all like cookies. I have some *fantasmic* cookie recipes up for trade at The Great Minivan Trade-up. This is a funny little project started by Dad of Divas. He started with a camera and traded it up for something else from someone on the internet. He keeps trading the current item for a different item hoping to eventually trade all the way up to a minivan.

The last trade made was to me. It was a framed photo art picture valued at $120.00. For the picture I offered in trade some killer (and easy to make) coveted cookie recipes. The kind that look real impressive, but are waaay easy to make and even easier to eat. This is just in time for the holiday baking season, can you bring a dessert, time of year.

I even sweeten the deal by saying that I will offer to meet the wonderful person who trades something for the recipes, and buy them $50 in drinks anywhere in the Chicagoland area, the next time they are in the area. Top it off with a parting gift of an 8x10 autographed picture of yours truly(just for an extra laugh).

Now the next step is for someone who would like this fantabulous package to contact dadofdivas@gmail.com and offer him something in exchange. What can you trade you ask? Anything! Go through the attic, the garage, the storage space, find something that you would be willing to part with. A lamp, a piece of furniture, Jack Benny's eye glasses. You could offer a service, frequent flier miles, your imagination is the limit(just keep it legal people).

And in doing this, you will also be doing the good deed of saving my ego. This offer has been out there, with me flapping in the wind, for about a week now, without any solid bites. For all the nitty gritty details click here. And save me from crying in my beer. Someday, when I'm famous, you may just want that pic!

Weaselmomma For President!

My Fellow Americans, this week the Democrats are holding their National Convention. Next week it's the Republican's turn. I don't know about you, but none of the candidates are setting my heart on fire. So I humbly accept the nomination of the Weasel Party to be the party choice for the next President of these United States.

Old Glory

My Platform, my view on where I would take this country is as follows:

Say goodbye to the Death Tax forever. The Government taxes the heck out of us while we are alive, they shouldn't be allowed to double tax us once we are on the wrong side of the grass. Unless you leave something to the IRS in your will, they don't get squat!

All members of Congress and elected officials will be required to wear a shock bracelet. Every time they lie, tell a half truth, or spin the truth they will get an electric shock. The larger the lie, the higher the voltage.

I do not promise a chicken in every pot, but I do promise a martini in every hand. Every Friday I will open the White House lawn for Happy Hour. No matter what your stresses in life, taking some time to chill and regroup can only help.

I vow not to soil the carpeting in the Oval Office(At least not involving an intern.)

I will sign an executive order that will take away from Congress the power to pass their own pay raises. The people will be able to vote on the salary increases/decreases of elected officials.

I promise to secure the borders. This is just plain old common sense. This is a National Security priority. We need to know who is coming in, from where, why and for how long. We can debate later about what to do with the illegals who are already here.

I will hire Jack Bauer to head up the NSA, and Jack Ryan to Head the CIA.

Jack Bauer

I will build up our military back to cold war numbers and standards. The best offense is a good defense. Also, I will ensure that members of our military and their families have a decent and comfortable standard of living.

Speak softly and carry a big stick will be my foreign policy approach. If I wanted to be an EU weenie, I would move there.

Teddy Roosevelt

I would make English our official(and only) national language. If you want citizenship, you must learn to speak it. You have 5 years to learn enough English to pass a cursory test. By then you should have at least enough understanding and skills to be able to say "do you want fries with that?", or better.

I would only appoint well qualified jurists to the Supreme Court. Jurists who can actually read the Constitution, understand what it says, and decide if our laws are in accordance with it. As opposed to those who, while acid tripping, find imaginary rights that are not actually in the constitution. (i.e., there is no 'right to privacy within the document. There is an expectation of privacy. 'Right' and 'expectation' are not synonyms.) Amendments to the constitution are the business of the legislative branch of government, not the judicial.

Trippin'

Vote for me and I will do my absolute best to make the government less intrusive in your pursuit of life, liberty and happiness. I will run an administration that will let you take charge of and be responsible for your own life and decisions. A government as described in the Constitution to be here for your national defense and security.

I humbly nominate NukeDad to be my Vice-Presidential running mate.

As a bonus, you will also get Mr. Weasel as your First Laddie, and that should make other world leaders very envious(he's got better legs than any of their spouses). Instead of Presidential pets like dogs or cats, we will bring hamsters, toads and Weasels into the White House.

Coors light will be the only beer served at State dinners. Makers Mark will be the official bourbon served. American made is the only way to go in my administration.

If you feel the urge to vote for me, than instead of flat out donating to my campaign, I urge you to bid on me in the Great Minivan Trade-Up.

God Bless you and God Bless America!

Saying Goodbye To Summer

Today is the saddest day of the year here in Weaselville, for tomorrow is the first day of school for the elementary age Weasels(and the first full day of school for Eldest Weasel). It is with great sadness that we say goodbye to our friend, summer vacation, until June 2009.

We have an awful lot to do today. We need to lay out the uniforms and shoes et. al., pack the backpacks, distribute supplies and make sure everyone is bathed. We also have a special mass today with the Bishop. He is coming to do the official dedication of this brand new school, that will be officially open for business tomorrow. After the dedication there will be slight joy for the Weasels in the form of the parish picnic. Games, snacks and desserts should help them enjoy their last hours of freedom before the shackles of school are once again thrust around their ankles.

We do cherish our lazy days of summer around here, that are anything but lazy. There are a lot of things we never got around to doing, but we also managed to squeeze in loads of fun. It's hard to believe how fast the time goes. We will continue to take advantage of the summer weather and activities in the few hours of sunlight left after homework is complete.

The Weasels are in a complete state of depression over their impending imprisonment. They are all good students, who genetically inherited the "I hate school" gene from their mother. They believe that school is just another way for "the Man to keep them down", and that homework is designed to completely suck all of the hope and joy out of their lives. Recess is the only part of school that allows them to maintain their sanity and refrain from complete despair.

The first few weeks will be fresh and new, so somewhat tolerable and interesting for them. After that it becomes a downhill slope of darkness until the light at the end of the tunnel, Christmas break, is in sight. With the entrance of January, smiles once again fade away until they feel like they are circling the bowl by March. April brings a glimmer of hope, offering longer days and slightly better temperatures, which can only mean one thing. Summer will soon be here. But at the same time feeling like a marathon runner at around mile 20, forcing one foot in front of the other with sheer willpower of reaching the finish line and being able to reclaim their lives for themselves.

About May they will begin to dream about not being pulled by the ankles out of bed and force fed breakfast, and no more marching gulag style to the car before they wipe the sleep from their eyes. AHHHHH, better than sugarplums dancing. They know that soon they will be living the Phineas and Ferb lifestyle once again. It's the only thing that keeps them pushing on.

Youngest Weasel too will join the ranks of school goers this year. She, opposite of siblings, is happy and excited. She wants to be a 'big kid'. She wants a teacher of her own. She wants to learn to read and have homework and a back pack and a lunch box. The rest of the Weasels just shake their heads in pity for her. Little does she know the horrors of the road she is about to embark on. Sweet naive youngest Weasel, they only wish they could save her from this awful fate, like a mother who encourages her daughter not to begin shaving her legs just yet because once you start you have to always continue. Or the Daughter who prays for puberty to start, who's mother silently hopes for her daughter to avoid that cross as long as possible, for she will soon enough have to deal with it for the next 4 decades.

So with the Weasels feeling as helpless as the French people on the day before the occupation, they will wave their white flags and go along with the program. But one day, I fear all too soon, they will form a resistance movement. I can already picture them strategically planning which bridges to take out and how to sabotage the car.

I Am a Commodity!

Want me? You can have me. For a price.

I have become completely caught up in this whole minivan trade-up thing.
And I want you all to follow suit.

I am now being traded like Microsoft! I have acquired a piece of photo art in exchange for drinks with me and an invaluable supply of me best cookie recipes(trust me, their like butter....to die for). All totaled, complete with signed and autographed picture of me, a value of $250.00.

Now it's your turn to trade something in exchange for this wonderful prize package chuck full of lovely buttery memory goodness.

Click the links to get the full details of me pimping myself out and giving away some of the best secret recipes(trust me they are crack!) that I hold dear in hopes of turning them into a minivan.

So go, get out there, and bid for the Weaselmomma! I'm worth it!

My First Meme

So I was tagged with this Meme on August 3rd, but didn't know it until yesterday. That was probably because on August 2nd, I was doing this. So on August 3rd, we'll just say I was 'offline'.

Anyway, this is the 7 things Meme. Where you supposedly get to know me better through 7 trivial facts about myself. So here goes:

1. I HATE mayonnaise. It makes me gag just thinking about it too much. I will not eat anything that mayonnaise has touched. I will not put it on your sandwich, You have to do that yourself. As a matter of fact, I'm not a fan of condiments in general. No mustard or relish or ketchup or miracle whip(same as mayo to me). But am completely offended by mayo.

2. I will not eat 'swimmy fish', as I call them. I like lots of different shell fish, but not anything that swims. Yes, the bottom feeding crustacians are more appealing to me. I've tried lots of different kinds, prepared in a variety of ways and hate them all.

3. My kids range in age from Pre-school to High School. It's a weird world that I live in. There is a 10 year span between the oldest and the youngest.

4. I am a city girl who married a farm boy and we live in a suburban area. As a said, It's a weird world that I live in.

5. I have lived in Philadelphia, 2 cities West Virginia, Cleveland and Illinois.

6. I am an orphan. I didn't grow up that way, but am one now. So if a nice, rich older couple is looking to adopt a grown woman with instant son-in-law and grand kids to brag about, please contact me.

7. And last but not least, Mr. Weasel insisted that I add this tidbit, I have broken a man's arm once when he tried to mug me on the subway. That's right all 5'4" 105 lbs of me(at the time anyway) not only managed to keep my bag, but made sure this guy wouldn't be 'working' for a while too.


Now I am supposed to tag 7 people with this, but I'm not. Instead, I want you to leave 7 quick tidbits about yourself in the comments. Getting to know you, getting to know all about you.......