Friday, October 23, 2009

Losing It

It may surprise some of you that live under rocks to know that as a stay at home mom, I am not always calm, cool and collected. Sure when everything is running like a Swiss watch, I make this life look good. Every other day or so once in a while though, things just don't come together smoothly. Usually because some of the Weasels have taken stupid pills and get stupid silly, unable to focus on anything other than making my blood pressure rise the Weasels don't have a copy of my priority list.

When this happens, I tend to get distracted and lose focus myself. I forget what I had been working to complete and I still have to play foreman to 5 other people, after forgetting what tasks I have them working on. On occasion I wind up saying things like "Dog, take the Boy out!". Of course this only throws fuel on the giggle and silliness fire and hence I get more distracted and further away from having the situation back under control.

Trying to get Weasels to complete homework or put away laundry while Boy Weasel is unloading the dishwasher with green beans stuck in his nose and Smallest Weasel putting on dress-up clothes and dancing in the kitchen when she had been tasked to put said costumes away and all of a sudden I forget that I was in the middle of making dinner.

Weasels, like most animals in the wild and insane asylum inmates can smell weakness and will pounce when they see opportunity. When they get in this mood the giggle ratio rises in correlation to my stroke risk. The more flustered I get, the more they enjoy themselves.

The other afternoon, as I was reaching critical mass, I attempted to regain control of the asylum situation by way of yelling my bloody fool head off asserting my authority with a stern voice to help them refocus. Laying out specific and simple instructions for each Weasel, while walking through the house in a manor that would make the Terminator proud, picking off each Weasel and chore, one at time.

"You! Get that laundry put away now!"
"Boy, ditch the green beans and finish emptying the dishwasher!"
"You there, get those glasses off your face and put away with the costumes! Put those books away and get your homework done!"

Then laughter breaks out once again and I feel the hyenas closing in on their prey. Middle Weasel pipes up in between chuckles, "Mom, these are my glasses and I am doing my homework. I can put the books away, but then I can't see or do my homework".

This is when I just wave my little white flag and figure that if I can't beat 'em, join 'em and we all share a good laugh. Turns out that is all we needed to do to put the house back in harmony.

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20 comments:

Sarah @ Ordinary Days said...

"If you can't beat 'em, join 'em." I need to keep that in mind much more often!

The Microblogologist said...

One more reason you are on my list of role models for if and when I procreate! And after reading this I think I'll need to form a list of people to take the hypothetical offspring in when they drive me into the mental ward ;)

Melisa with one S said...

I loved this. The best part for me was being able to picture the whole thing vividly in my head, since I've been over to your house many times.

You crazy weasels!

Steve said...

great post - we feel your pain - I'll forward to my wife who stays at home w/3 kids a little younger but similar stress!

Doug @ Daddy's Tired said...

I'm quickly learning that any plans I make will only work if they align perfectly with the plan our little one has for our day...Great post...

terri said...

Like they always say, "If you can't beat 'em (and you shouldn't because Child Protection will come after you...)

Where was I?

Oh, yeah. "If you can't beat 'em, join 'em!"

Michelle said...

Ohh this sounds so familiar, except I'm lucky enough to only have to monitor three (yes, my husband falls under this which is why the Saran Wrap was sitting on the counter this am after I told him when I was going to bed that he'd long ago finished putting away the bread I'd made and it was either going into the drawer by him or being wrapped around his face by me AND he agreed to that). Can you tell I'm sleep deprived right now? Thank God the book fair is at least over :)

Lauren Hale said...

What an awesome post. You so nailed it on the head. Some days it's best just to shove some green beans in your own nose, sit down, and giggle madly till you snort them across the room. Now THAT'S family bonding!

WeaselMomma said...

@ Sarah ~ Sometimes you just have to run with it. It's better for everyone.

@ Micro ~ Your home becomes the mental ward.

@ Melisa ~ But we Weasels are a fun group!

@ Steve ~ I hope she gets a laugh, a deep breath and the rest of her day goes smooth.

@ Doug ~ There's no doubt that the inmates run the asylum.

@ Terri ~ Damn shame we don't have option #1.

@ Michelle ~ Maybe I should delete that comment for you. You know, so they can't hold it against you in court.

@ Lauren ~ I'm glad you liked it and thanks for coming by.

Mocha Dad said...

I can fully relate to your experience. Sometimes the kids just wear you down.

nonnasnonsense said...

trying to decide if having the slave labor is worth the hassles that come with them. i'm thinking i like the no-hassle-i'll-do-the-dishes-when-i-run-out-of-something approach i have :) but if i was going to procreate, i would hope to be a mom like you :)

PJ Mullen said...

Do you ever catch yourself yelling "I am sick and tired"?

You really need to explain what Boy Weasel was doing with green beans in his nose? My little man has put a pea up there once by accident, but that has me intrigued.

surprised mom said...

There are times when I just want to come over and live at your house. It's just too quiet over at my house. I think there's not enough silliness and giggles. Can't wait until the oldest gets home to hear the two girls laughing together again . . . even if it's at their parents . . .

WeaselMomma said...

@ Mocha Dad ~ Oh yes they do, and then when I realize it's just time for me to ease up a little.

@ Nonna ~ OMG and I don't say that in vein - You're alive! So nice to you around and kicking!

@ PJ Mullen ~ Adolescent boys have veru odd ways of entertaining themselves. Very odd.

@ Surprised ~ Ya know, I could use a babysitter for an overnight, so the Mr and I could use a gift certificate we have. Hmmmm.

seashore subjects said...

Good job with the quick hat change! Once I'm in terminator mode, I know I must see results or throw in the towel (run away) and we all head out for a fun day.

Bad Momma said...

Sounds like our house & I only have 3 kids. Still can't get their names straight. Should have named them all Darryl....

The Devoted Dad said...

I don't know, that sounds pretty cool, calm, and collected to me. You probably would have found me sitting on the floor, rocking back and forth. That's great that they have laughter, though! That shows a lot! -Jason

Mr. Man said...

I tend to be the funny parent. The kids laugh at me constantly, but do as I say with a change of look or tone. However, I do jump in on the goofiness at times and get taken on a ride.

Scott said...

I find myself taking things a bit to seriously quite often. This was a good reminder to just step back and have a good laugh at the whole situation.

Thanks

Tom said...

Wait a minute... you can't beat 'em? Not even a little bit? Shoot. Anyway... if I had a nickel for every time I say something stupid like "get your arms back inside your chicken and eat your shirt!" I'd be a very wealthy man.

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