This past Saturday afternoon, prior to getting ready for my Hot Date with Mr. Weasel, Smallest Weasel and I had a good, long, heart to heart talk. Actually, it was more like a dissertation on how to be romantic and Smallest Weasel did all the talking while I listened, asked follow-up questions and took copious mental notes.
Smallest Weasel actually had some seriously awesome
and gut-busting funny advice. I don't know where she learned this stuff, having not quite reached the age of 6 yet, but this girl has a serious consulting career ahead of her.
- You have to pick out pretty & fancy clothes like a dress to wear.
- You can't wear sneakers. They are not romantic. You should wear high heels.
- You should pluck at your eyebrows (as she looked closely and ran her fingers over mine).
- She examined my hair and informed me that I should straighten it.
- Being the consummate, full service, expert, she would help me to apply my make-up, so I didn't mess it up.
- Her services would also include helping me to pick out my jewelry, as I needed to wear prettier earrings than the ones that were currently in my ears or so I was told.
- You should smell pretty too.
- Don't be romantic and kiss before you leave the house, because we (Weasels) would be all eewww.
- For dinner you should have steaks. Steaks are romantic.
- And you should sit at a 2 person table in the middle of a big private room.
- You can't drink beer. You have to drink wine. Wine is romantic.
- You should kiss two times, but not until after the waiter leaves. This is why you need a big private room. So other people don't have to see you kiss and say eewww.
- You should have flowers and a heart box of chocolate, but the restaurant might not let you bring groceries with you.
guess where we buy our flowers.
- No candles. How are you supposed to eat you dinner if you are holding a candle?
- For dessert you should have chocolate in the shape of a heart. That's romantic & you have to share.
- After dinner, stare at him in the eyes. You can't blink. If you are doing it right, he will tell you you look pretty.
I was also informed that we had to stop being romantic before we came home, because the Weasels could still be awake and would have to make barfing sounds if they saw us being romantic.
After dressing and prepping with the assistance of my little expert, I asked her if she gave Mr. Weasel any tips on being romantic. Alas, she was too shy. I asked her, "What if he doesn't do it right, because you never told him how to be romantic? What if the whole night gets ruined? You should go tell him, to make sure I have a wonderful date". "Don't worry Mom, he's already wearing the right clothes all by himself".
Oh, What I would give to have this entire exchange on camera.
Thanks to these wonderfully helpful tips and Mr. Weasels knowledge and efforts to make the night special, we had an incredible and romantic evening.