T-16 hours and Counting

My in-laws are one the way and should be here by dinner. I am in the midst of insanity trying to do kids laundry, clean the house for overnight guests, pack the bags and plan dinner. I think I will be slaving over a hot phone for that last one.
I should not even be taking the time to write this. But I can't help it. I am too excited. Early tomorrow morning I will wave at them from the driveway while pretending to be sad. I will have a week of solace. My vacation alone @ home. It sounds glorious. Just Hubby and I, and he will be a work 1/2 of the time. Tomorrow the whole country will celebrate for us. They will hold parades, shoot off fireworks, orchestras will play, people will BBQ and drink to us and our joy. Or at least that's what I've convinced myself of.
For now though, I am in the final stretch. These last few hours will be a grueling test of stamina. But I have my eyes on the prize.

How To Negotiate Car Price

Okay, so you folks seem to enjoy my approach to getting car repairs done quickly.  Some of you may try to employ this method in the future.  Well I have another tip for going to the dealership.

Here's how to get a great price on the car of your choice:

Step one- Bring whole family including Dad, very pregnant Mom and 4 kids no older than 10.

Step two- Let kids politely look through showroom cars as salesman approaches.

Step three-Discuss with sales guy what you are looking for, expectations, rebates etc.

Step four-Transfer car seats and take kids for test drive. * Make sure kids are hungry for dinner, getting punchy,mean and nap deprived  by this point in time*

Step five-Return to dealership and send children to play area while Mom and Dad have the 'sit down' with sales guy.

Step six-negotiate to what you think is a fair price and still claim 'that's too much, you can do better'.

Step seven-*this is crucial*- Go silent and risk whiplash turning your head toward the sound of a large crash in the toy area.  Mom should investigate as silence falls over the toy area also.

Step Eight-return to Dad(still standing at sales guys desk) holding the 8 year old close while applying pressure to gaping hole in the back of his head.

Step nine-ask for paper towels when sales team gets 'deer in the headlights' syndrome.

Step ten- inspect wound and question children until you find out that 4 year old pulled chair away as 8 year old was about to sit down.  Eight year old falls back taking the corner of the wooden play table him.

Step eleven- Visually follow trail of blood from play area table to carpet and across showroom floor.

Step twelve-Mom should get dealer to drive to Emergency Room while Dad re-negotiates car price.

Step thirteen-Have doctor staple 8 year olds head shut and treat for concussion.

Step fourteen- Have dealer drive you back to dealership where Dad got a much lower price.

Step fifteen- Give both 8 and 4 year olds chocolate for pulling that off and saving you money.

Step sixteen- 1 week later receive a get well card and a new x-box game(SpongeBob) in the mail from the Dealership.

*disclaimer, do not try this at home!  We are trained professionals.

Do it Yourself Car Repairs

Okay, so most of us have had to take our cars into the dealership for repairs at some point. Usually these are repairs that a trained professional can perform in short order. However, the dealership wants you to "Drop it off in the morning and we'll call you when it's done". This doesn't work for me. Trying to get a back home with 5 kids and no car looks like a refugee migration.

So I have come up with a game plan that works every time:

Mechanic: Okay Mrs. Weasel, we'll call you when it's ready.

Me: That's okay. The kids and I will wait.

Mechanic and Manager(who overheard reply): It will be a few hours.

Me: That's okay. We'll wait.

So, we enter the waiting room and I let children tune the TV to Barney and turn the volume up. Some take to the toy area and start the process of staging tornado aftermath. If I don't see any results within 15 minutes, i.e., my car in the garage on the lift, I suggest to the kids that we 'check out the showroom'. Of course the bushweasels love this idea. New cars parked indoors is craziness!!!!!

We go to the showroom and I let the kids touch everything! Inside and outside these freshly polished cars. We leave no surface without fingerprints. They climb in and out. Touch all the buttons. Enjoy the power sliding doors and tailgates. Running back and forth in all directions each child picking their favorite to drive. Each one climbs into the drivers seat of selected models (like entering bumper cars at the carnival) and pretend to race. I just watch and smile at these lovely children having such a great time. And say things like 'yeah, that car is really cool'.

Next thing I know, I hear over the PA system "Mrs. Weasel, your car is ready". I don't think I've ever waited longer than an hour. And one time I was given a free loner car for the day.

My husband says I can be evil. I call it genius. Maybe I am an evil genius.

Thanks For a Great Time

Cloud Nine

WOW!  What a morning!  I'm on the computer, just minding my own business.  Not really, I was actually being a voyeur reading other blogs.  When what to my wondering eyes did appear, but mega link love from 2 guys that read here! Only this is better than Christmas!  I am very flattered and would like to thank all those who helped me get where I am today(sitting on my couch drinking coffee).  Namely, Tom @ Being Michael's Daddy and Nuke Dad @ Nuclear Family Warhead.  Thanks guys, you really rock and so do your blogs.