You know when you start reminiscing with old friends and they bring up stories that you had totally forgotten about and then you can laugh yourself silly as the memories come flooding back? Yeah, that's not what this post is about. This is about one those memories that gets drudged up that everyone else laughs about and you are still pissed ever happened 20+ years later.
Let's take a trip in the way back machine. I was in college and in need of a job. A friend dragged me off to a far away 'frat party' with the lure of "the Coors Light Girls will be there and so will a rep. You can ask about a job. I bet they get paid pretty well". So off we went.
When we arrive at the party, the first people we pass are these guys on the front porch.
I am thinking to myself, I am going to kill my friend. This is not a frat party or even a college party. These kids are in high school. Get me outta here!!!!!! There is no way that Coors is showing up to this flop house.
The guys introduce themselves - way to self confident for what they were offering. We politely responded by saying hello and make our way inside. My friend swears up and down that these are college guys and she just has to find her boyfriend Pee-Wee (yeah, I know. Who would admit their boyfriend's name is Pee-Wee?). I'm not convinced, but she is my ride, so I am kind of stuck and this is the crowd
I tried to make the best of things and be a good sport. However, I was one of only 2 girls at the party and my friend ditched me in the other room. All the guys were drunk and one even mistook me for the paid entertainment he hoped someone else had ordered. He pulled out a roll of quarters and was raring to go before he passed out face down on the couch.
Some guy who I'll call Randy, because that is how he smelled, started trying to hit on me. Until suddenly he switched gears and started throwing a temper tantrum about the golf he played earlier in the day.
A knight in shining velor soon came to rescue me. He said his name was 'Yellow Cake'. What is it with these guys and their names? He got me a beer and was pleasant enough to chat with. He assured me that Coors reps were coming (some body's Uncle's cousin or something). Yellow Cake said he was a football player and wanted badly to play for Ohio State but something about and old knee injury was getting in the way.
All of a Sudden he starts screaming with excitement and starts singing "Sherry" (The 4 Seasons) to me. But it sounded and looked more like his favorite artist of all time.
Eventually my friend made her way back to me and informed me that Pee-Wee was the guy passed out with his roll of quarters. She then made the official introduction between Yellow Cake and I. Not having realized we had
already been talking. Not that Yellow Cake had either. They were both pretty drunk and Yellow Cake was all "It's so nice -hiccup- to meet - hiccup- you. What's your name again?". By now the Coors rep has arrived. And by rep I find out that they meant "Guy who works at the bottling plant". I did not manage to find this out until after I asked the guy about a job and he pulled out a fresh roll of quarters.
Yellow Cake starts laughing so hard he begins to projectile vomit. Right. into. my. cleavage. As I am trying not to scream with chunks sloshing around in my bra, my friend is so grossed out that she begins to vomit. All. over. my. shoes.
They felt pretty bad about it and Yellow Cake went to grab me a fresh (I guess it passed his sniff test) Gold colored Thunderbirds T-shirt, blue matching shorts and show me to the shower while my friend vacated the couch of Pee-Wee so I would have a place a place to crash, being that my driver was not able to drive me home. Thank God I could lock the bathroom door as it was pelted with quarters the whole time I was in the shower. We left the next morning and had not spoken of this incident again until recently, when I was sent these pictures.
It makes me wonder, What ever happened to that guy? I never gave him his loner clothes back. Did he ever grow up to be anything more than Yellow Cake?
BTW, NukeDad you've been Blunked! (new word = Blog Punked)
*This entire post is complete fiction just to have a little fun at Yellow Cake's NukeDad's expense. That's him and his buddies from years gone by in the pictures. Please visit Michael's Daddy, Momo Fali and Suburban Scrawl for the rest of today's harass NukeDad Fest.
**A special thanks goes out to NukeSis for providing the pics of NukeDad's misspent youth!
Posts
23 comments:
LOL! I was wondering why you had pics of a party you hated...hehehe
You had me going. I was a little grossed out at the puking down your top thing. Then I reach the end and IT'S FICTION. LMAO. So, what did NukeDad do to deserve his blunking? Post worth waiting for.
Even though this is made up, it still sounds like something he would do.
LOVED IT! Now just fix that one link! :)
@ Seashore ~ All in good fun.
@ Surprised ~ He hung FWM out to dry, lol. Nah, just for the fun of a joke.
@ Momo ~ He's probably trying to remember who was at that that party and how much did he drink!
@ Melisa ~ Done.
Nice.... :) (That was a GREAT story!)
Hah! I loved the part about "Randy, because that is how he smelled..." Too dang funny.
That is FANTASTIC!!
Great post. I believed every word. How cheap are these guys in your story though. You are certainly worth dollar bills rather than quarters.
Hehehe, now I know what that cryptic message between you and Melisa was about. I was pretty sure it was about Yellowcake since he dumped us on Twitter, lol!
I should have known it would end up being nothing but trouble once you and Melisa hooked up. You two are ruthless! And hilarious. For the record: I should be given bonus points for the projectile vomiting into your cleavage as the target was very small and guarded by a turtle neck sweater. :) Sorry, it was right there; I had to. Great job. Yellowcake? Hmmm....
LMBO!!! Puke chunks? I almost lost it when I read this. Great "blunkerizing" on your part!
Were the quarters for "tips" or shall we say..."dramatic effect"?
Classic pictures. Those could have been taken at any high school party in the 80s', in fact...yellow cake looks familiar ;)
@ Mrs4444~ It was fun too!
@ Tom ~ You know the kind of people NukeDad hangs out with. They need aliitle D.O. to stop the B.O.
@ Gertrude ~ Glad you liked it.
@ Otter ~ Thanks, I think.
@ Micro ~ he should come back to twitter.
@ NukeDad ~ Melisa Rocks! I would give you bonus points if you would have had the same accuracy with a football as you have with vomit. YellowCake grew up to go nuclear.
@ Mr Man ~ I'm glad you found it so amusing. I wish the quarters were $20's though.
@ Dad in Training ~ Please don't ell me you were throwing quarters too.
Well I'm glad to see all is well with the four blunkers....I in the meantime received a phone call stating "You are in trouble and how did you get my pictures?" Not to worry. I may still have some leverage I can use...hee hee
The blunking is getting out of hand.
I still think this story is true but I was pretty amazed at the girl with the jet black 80's hair. I thought maybe you really changed over the years.
I also fully expected Yellow Cake was going to end up being Mr. Weasel and this was going to be one of those cute stories of "How I met the father of my children"!
Ewww... my husband even asked me what was wrong as I was making my gagging face.
However, I'm with the crowd who thinks this makes so much more sense, as I couldn't figure out how and why you took pictures.
Holy mackerel I was totally bought into the story. Nice writing!
@ NukeSis ~ This was so much fun. Thanks for all of your help.
@ Mocha ~ Like Melisa says, "go big or go home".
@ Bad Momma ~ It did sound pretty plausible, didn't it? I can assure you that NukeDad is not the father of my children. The courts have said so.
@ Michelle ~ I have a feeling you would have been puking too (if any of this was real).
@ de-I ~ Glad you liked it. It was just Happy Pick on NukeDad Day.
I almost spit my coffee out! This is hilarious - the pictures are great!
That was awesome! I totally was thinking about my own party experiences, and funny thing is I saw my self and my friends as being the high schooler :) Great story, and fun blunking! -Jason
Post a Comment