I have been just a tiny blip on the radar lately, hopefully you've noticed. No big shakes going on, just busy family life, including an unwelcome house guest that doesn't know when it's time to leave. Influenza has descended upon our humble abode. I have been dispensing medication, taking temps and serving ice cream for dinner. All of the Weasels have contracted flu. Three of them were well enough to make it school today, but not wanting Mom to be left out of the latest family craze, decided to give it to share it with her too.
I had been been fighting it off really well. Using mind over matter to bounce the germs off of me as Weasels coughed on my face. I had willed myself to push away thoughts of that tickle in my throat and to ignore the feelings of fatigue and congestion. Yesterday I lost my battle.
I have begged Mr. Weasel to take me out back and play "Old Yeller", you know, just to end the suffering. He doesn't want to be the next Drew Peterson, so it's a no go. Everyone else seems to have survived and he thinks that I will too. I have my doubts.
Just in case, I am pondering possible epitaphs for my tombstone. The best I have come up with so far is "Please Curb Your Dog". I am also looking for a volunteer to give the eulogy. So that is your task boys and girls. Write WeaselMomma's Eulogy. Email it to weaselmomma@yahoo.com or leave it as a comment. The winner (whoever writes my favorite) will receive a $25.00 Amazon giftcard. Be creative and have fun.
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16 comments:
Oh man, I guess mind over matter didn't work to well for you either, huh? :(
I hope your feeling better soon...and I so hope you didn't share with McCutie!! :)
Ha: ROFL Melissa, I just sent her an e-mail saying the same thing!!! Great minds think alike. :)
Maybe McCutie interrupted her mind over matter flow.
Anyway Weaselmomma, I will have to think about this a little more but the one that came to my mind first is "She wasn't wishing for this kind of nap..."
I hope you and the Weasel family are feeling much better. My hubby was very sick last week. I've managed to not catch it yet.
Hope you feel better soon.
As far as an epitaph, I had a few to choose from.
"I'll bet you appreciate me now!"
or
"Be sure to separate darks from lights"
or
"This is what picking up after you all has done to me."
Get well soon Weasels from your friend the Otter.
Last night while on a walk, my husband and I had a conversation about my eulogy....Hope you are feeling better soon!
my entry:
" Sometimes sharing is not a good thing!" *cough* *cough* *gasp*
Poor thing. I'll send chicken soup. Hope everyone is well soon!
Oh, for cryin' out loud! Stuff a tissue in each nostril, suck on a Ricola, put on a Depends adult diaper and get back out there!
Wuss.
"I'd rather have a bottle in front of me, than a frontal lobotomy"
or
"She always said her feet were killing her, but no one believed her"
Yikes! The flu really is going around... and I'm currently on the clock with Little Miss (although I'm about to give up the ghost and go to bed and let my husband do the rest of the night). Here's hoping you feel better soon.
But just in case you don't....
Weaselmomma: The great Christian woman gave up beer for Lent to show her deep devotion. Unfortunately, the lack of the magical elixir proved to be the final nail in her coffin. If only she could have had a beer, the alcohol would have purged that nasty bug from her system. Let this be a lesson to you: 'Tis better to drink than to be noble. Amen.
Sorry you are feeling cruddy. Gotta think about the contest.
@ Melissa ~ It was worth a shot.
@ Melisa ~ I look forward to reading the whole thing.
@ Cheffie ~ I hope you stay healthy.
@ Tom ~ Those are good but I need the whole eulogy.
@ Otter ~ Thanks man!
@ Bad Momma ~ That had be a fun conversation.
@ Mrs4444 ~ You are entirely sweet.
@ NukeDad ~ I am expecting you to come up with a top 3 eulogy entry.
@ Michelle ~ Doctor said it's rampant in this area right now.
@ Seashore ~ I look forward to reading it.
Well sweetie, you know a good shot of whiskey goes a long way. Hot showers, and some Levaquin.
I'd hate to lose you from blogland but will try my luck at penning your epitaph.
So sorry to hear you're not feeling well. An epitaph... could be fun... I'll see what I can come up with!
Wow, sounds like a busy house. Hope everyone is better and feeling well. I see you on Dad Blog but if you get a chance come check my blog out at:
www.pbandsmellysdad.com
"It was a Cough
That carried her Off
It was a Coffin
They Carried her Off In"
Feel better soon!
WeaselMomma passed away on Tuesday, having spent a week in a coma after being hit by a beer truck. Her family and favorite bartender were at her bedside when she passed. WeaselMomma was the Mother of 5 children, having unsuccessfully lobbied her husband for a 12-pack. "At least 11", she once said "that way we can field a football team." Her dreams of becoming a neurosurgeon were dashed in college after she drank her Sophomore year tuition before Thanksgiving break. Going to work for the Government proved to be the wrong career choice as she lost her first 8 government jobs after refering to supervisors as "Idiots" "Dolts" and asking one supervisor; "Did your parents have any children that possess a frontal lobe?" Afterwards she concentrated on raising her children and mobilizing the local chapter of The Pick-Up Truck Owners Society (PUTOS) to provide relief when local beer distributor trucks broke down. The Budweiser distributor was always appreciative; the Coors distributor said that they seemed to take twice as long as neccesary, and only 1/2 of the load would show up. In a related story, the Bud Light truck driver who struck and killed WeaselMomma has committed suicide. He said he couldn't live with the knowledge that he was responsible for killing such a wonderful consumer of brewed spirits, even if it wasn't his brand. In leiu of flowers, please double tip your favorite bartender the next time you go out for a drink. Visitation and Kegger will be Thursday; Bonfire, burial and wet tuxedo contest on Friday.
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