Monday, March 16, 2009

Brain Damage

Sometimes the most obvious answers are the most easily overlooked. Lately I have been pulling my hair out trying to make life run smoothly here in Weaselville. The most simple tasks seem to have become the greatest of obstacles.

Case in point, just now I asked Boy Weasel to close the back door as he happened to be walking past it. "Back door????" was his response with an entirely blank and somewhat confused cloud glossing over his eyeballs. He had apparently never noticed that we have a back door right smack dab in the middle of the kitchen. This must have been a life changing moment of enlightenment for the boy. He has been in and out of that entrance way many, many times in his 12 years on this earth, and now he finally has a name for it. This kid is so bright The Mr. and I call him son.

Example 2: Eldest sprained her ankle at track practice a few weeks back. The team trainer is keeping a close eye on it and she can still run. It swells greatly after each practice and race. He has given her instructions to ice it 4x daily @15 minutes each, icy hot over night and anti - inflammatory meds daily. She has been complaining that it isn't getting any better.

Well, have you been icing it?

Nooooo.

Have you taken the anti - inflammatory?

Noooooo.

Did you put on the icy hot before bed last night?

Noooooo.

Hmmm, this is a mystery. Why do you think it's not getting any better?

I Dunno.

And case study C ~ Today is Monday, March 16. The school year started back in August. Monday through Friday, with a few exceptions, the kids have to wake up and prepare for school. Same routine every morning. Wake-up, get dressed, eat breakfast, brush teeth, brush hair, gather belongings and get in the car. No major surprises. No major feats to accomplish. No real hard part to learn. Yet, here we are in March and they have not been able to master these skills.

Have you brushed your teeth?

No, I didn't eat yet

Why not? You've been in the kitchen for half an hour.

I dunno.

I have been banging my head against the wall. I don't get it. These are not hard concepts to grasp. Why can't they seem to understand? All of this has been frustrating the bejesus out of me. That is until the other night. I happened upon "Bill Cosby - Himself" on television. An oldie but a goodie that I have watched and laughed along with many times before, but not in years. An then with the kind of magic that Boy Weasel must have felt when he discovered the door in our kitchen, the light bulb clicked on at full wattage in my brain. I got it. I had actually known it all along, but had overlooked the obvious. My children have brain damage.

I just hope that they outgrow it soon.

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27 comments:

Melissa said...

Is Mr. Weasel going to let them eat chocolate cake for breakfast soon? ;)

Colleen - Mommy Always Wins said...

I ♥ Bill Cosby.

That is all.

;-) OK, not really. I just can't comment on the kids' brain damage because I believe it!!!

Tom said...

Oh, so true. I wish I had a nickel for every time my stepdaughter asked what's for dinner, after I've been in the kitchen for two hours working on it and trying to shoo her OUT, explaining what I'm making. And that's only one tiny example.

Melisa with one S said...

I LOVE "Himself". We bought it ages ago. It's all true.

And I think your problems of late may also be attributed to the coming of spring. Give em weather warmer than 40 degrees and they go nuts on you.

Cheffie-Mom said...

Bill Cosby is too funny. This video cracked me up. Thanks for the laugh!

Otter Thomas said...

Thanks for the Bill Cosby. That has always been one of my favorite stand ups of all time. I look forward to watching it from a different view as my son grows older.

My favorite: But dad I'm Jesus Christ.

RhondaLue said...

Bill Cosby is classic.

Oh and for what it's worth: My kids are brain damaged too. All 6 of them.

Bad Momma said...

File my kids, (especially the youngest) under "Brain Damaged".

Kid is at the top of his 2nd grade class but doesn't know how to close a door... Front door, back door, car door. Kid must think we live in a barn!

Mrs4444 said...

Bill Cosby is SO great; just love him. He's so paternal (in a good way.)

Don't worry; they'll heal...

Momo Fali said...

I have to tell my daughter the same things over and over every morning. "Brush your hair. Put on a sweatshirt. Brush your teeth." Then five minutes later I repeat, and so on. I feel like she's giving ME brain damage.

de-I said...

Wife and I (way more Wife than I) took care of the three grandkids for 5 days while their parents had some R&R. All I can say is it is a miracle that human race has been able to survive.

NukeDad said...

I think it's a virus. My kids caught it in 2003. There is no cure.

Sue said...

"Daddy's great! Gives us chocolate cake!"
Bill Cosby is a legend! Brain damage and all!

terri said...

Can we blame that little wrinkle between my eyebrows on the kids too? That Bill Cosby routine never gets old!

'cuz I'm the mommy, that's why! said...

God I needed that! Thank you for the laugh. Does anyone have any Windex wipes for my computer screen? It has Mountain Dew all over it...

seashore subjects said...

They were born cute so you would overlook the brain damage & love them anyway! Really a great con when you think about it...

WeaselMomma said...

@ Melissa ~ That's already been done. I think the kids have morphed his brain into their own molding clay.

@ Colleen ~ there is definitely an element of truth in this theory.

@ Tom ~ This really does help to explain all of those moments.

@ Melisa ~ The Weasels have been awfully squirrelly for about 4 months now.

@ Cheffie Mom ~ This has always been one of my favorites.

@ Otter ~ I too love that bit. And don't forget his brother Damn It.

@ Rhonda ~ This is definitely a universal kind of laugh.

@ Bad Momma ~ Yup, that's my diagnosis.

@ Mrs4444 ~ I hope it happens before they turn 30.

@ Momo ~ Studies show that kids get their intelligence from their mother. I believe they suck it right out of her brain.

@ de-I ~ My computer screen is now sprayed with coffee.

@ NukDad ~ I've heard rumors that they will out grow it by age 30, we can hope.

@ Sue ~ I couldn't agree more.

@ Terri ~ That's exactly where that wrinkle came from.

@ 'cuz ~ Glad I could be of help today.

@ Seashore ~ God knows what he's doing. That's for sure.

kel said...

I love that Bill Cosby special! I remember watching it with my parents and just dying with laughter!

I'm new here.. love your blog!!

Slyde said...

i do beleive we must have the same kids... thats how i spend half my day!

New-dad-Blog said...

It never ends. . .even with adulthood. The other day my wife turned on a light in the kitchen I had never seen before. I was amazed.

She asked "You never flipped the swtich next to the garbage disposal before?". . .

Mike said...

Brain damage is a life long ailment that lasts as long as they have parents.

Charlie on the PA Turnpike said...

I can never hear a Bill Cosby routine and not smile!

Oscar said...

It's a common thread with all American kids. I see it on grandkids.
Bill Cosby is right! BTW I met him once in "Philly" and we chatted through dinner about that routine.

Yes brain damaged.

Michelle said...

Well, if my husband is any example... the outgrowing of brain damage isn't something you should be counting on. Just sayin'...

Mama Smurf said...

That's so funny...I went through the same thing with my kids every morning before school until I finally made a list for them to read each morning. Somehow, seeing what they had to complete each morning written down on paper was far more effective than me harping on them.

And the Bill Cosby Himself? I just recently referenced that myself! I LOVE that video!

ciara said...

do you think every kid in the world has their own severity of bd? lol the part about the coke in the video reminds me of stepson. he'll sneak his dad's food or drinks, and when hubs sees him, he tells him to stop, but he goes and does it again until my hubs tires of it. it's not cool to irritate my hubs lol btw mini-me just did that to me last night w my pepsi...it's like wth? lol

The Microblogologist said...

I loved track back in the day but I regret it now, sucks to have an arthritic knee at 25... The ankle most likely will not get better until after the season is over, even with ice and NSAIDs, those are only likely to keep it from hurting as much, it needs time and rest to heal, at least that is how it was with the ankle I managed to twist bad right before a race. I was definitely one of the more beat up runners on my team (sadly a lot of us got injuries), I usually had 4 bags of ice plastic wrapped to my legs. Being top sprinter is not all it's cracked up to be! Keeping injuries secret from one's mother is also not a good idea, lessons learned! This totally proves I was also brain damaged as a kid, lol.

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