Thursday, March 19, 2009

Pink Cadillac

I am living the life. You know me, complete princess non grata. All the Glam, all the time. St. Patrick's dayjust like any other Tuesday found me with full staff taking care of all of my beautification needs.

The reality of it is, a friend recently became a Mary Kay consultant. She gets extra points (or something) for bringing 'a model' to practice on to the weekly meeting. I sit and apply multiple products to my face. They ooh, aahhh and applaud. I get a free gift. You have never seen people so sincerely excited about the application of eye shadow. Seriously folks. This group was way too into this.

My girlfriend saw how very amused I was with these kool-aid drinking, cult of skin care fiends, and laughed right along with me. There were only six people, including me. The room was no bigger than a pop-tent. There were no less than 30 applause breaks. Really, they applauded every possible accomplishment for the week from "I sold a Gabonzo amount of products" to "I didn't break any finger nails" My mad mascara application skilz had them down right giddy.

I was so glad that I politely turned down the coffee and refreshments that were being offered. I am sure they were laced with some mind altering substance.

Just when I thought I couldn't get any more amused and entertained by watching this over zealous group of skin care consultants and their unnatural affection for facial cleansers, it happened. One of the women, for her achievements this week, was presented ~ and I kid you not~ with the "Pearls of Sharing"! She stood up to raucous applause and was handed pearl earrings.

I said to my self: "self, They didn't actually just say that, they couldn't have. Oh, yes they did".
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any funnier, in a creepy way, The presenter followed up with "and here don't forget your Pearl Necklace". I almost fell off of my chair! My friend too was holding back her laughter for dear life.

I have known many Mary Kay consultants. All of them were very normal people. I like and use Mary Kay. I am a fairly normal insert NukeDad smartass comment here. These women were not normal. These women were like the the Octamoms of foundation and powder. Lip gloss gave them a star-struck kind of awe as if Brad Pitt just sent a personal love note. I kept looking for the ghost of Alan Funt.

After the cult jam, she and I headed out to share a few drinks and laughs about the evening. This was not her normal group to meet with and she agreed that they are pounding the kool-aid of skin care as a religion.

Overall, I had a great time. Lots of laughs, time and drinks with a friend and a free microderm abrasion set. Who could ask for more?

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25 comments:

Melissa said...

Ohh, I love their microderm abrasion stuff!! It's always nice to be a princess for a day!

terri said...

I buy and use Mary Kay products and I like them. A lot. But I don't get orgasmic over them or anything. It's just cosmetics!

Otter Thomas said...

Its always fun to laugh at the nut jobs. Just be sure not to let any of that insanity rub off on you. Good move declining the refreshments.

Cheffie-Mom said...

ROFL! What color lip gloss did you buy? (:

VW said...

Ok, my filet-o-fish just shot through my nose at the presentation of the "pearl necklace." Sounds like you had a good time-and free stuff is good!
-velta

NukeDad said...

"...insert NukeDad smartass comment here." Really? Am I that bad? I never realized.

And when you say you are "fairly normal", do you mean "fairly normal" like it would be fairly normal to experience rain in the spring time, or "fairly normal" like it would be fairly normal for Jason to choose a chainsaw over a machete?

Just wondering...

:)

ShankRabbit said...

Oh Creeepy!

I love those situations were people are talking about something that has a terrible hidden meaning that they generally just don't know about.

But then if they catch you laughing you know they'd ask what you were laughing about.

Imagine explaining the alternate meaning of pearl necklace to that group!

Laura said...

"and don't forget your Pearl Necklace" !!!!! I'm trying not too laugh myself off my chair, b/c the kids are home & I just really can't explain myself!! I currently sell for two home-business companies, but neither one religiously, and the few meetings i've been to have never been like that...wonder what's in those products you're using??

Thanks for the great laugh!

Colleen - Mommy Always Wins said...

How funny! I love MK, too, but wow.

And, yep! We have the same tile floor AND couches!

Now...what comforter do you have on your bed? ;-)

Chris H said...

Awwwww I think you deserved the pearls! lol
What a crack up!

WeaselMomma said...

@ Melissa ~ Microderm rocks! I went for the free set!

@ Terri ~ I'm with you. I love it, but not in an unnatural manner.

@ Otter ~ Oh yeah, I was being careful.

@ Cheffie ~ Did not buy a thing! But I use Cream and sugar lip gloss.

@ Velta ~ I love you and miss you! I hope the filet o fish wasn't painful in the nostrils. Free stuff is the best!

@ NukeDad ~ Not bad, you're great! I just knew you are too smart too pass up an opportunity that is served on a silver platter. We love y for it!

@ Shank Rabbit ~ Lucky for me, either I was discreet enough in my laughter or they were polite enough to let it pass.

@ Laura ~ Glad I could crack you up, just don't laugh that baby out!

@ Coleen ~ That is totally creepy, but I like it! Are You coming to BlogHer? We have to meet.

@ You kill me! No pearls here. You make me want to visit New Zealand. Now only if I had the money.

Melisa with one S said...

I wore a pearl necklace (a REAL one: ROFL) to work on Tuesday and you can't believe the hazing I received.

Tom said...

You seem to attract all the fun. It must be a gift.

RhondaLue said...

Ok i'm totally out of the loop. I'm considering googling "alternate meanings for pearl necklace" but maybe I shuoldn't. lol

that's funny. Weight watchers meetings can be like that too. Everyone ooooing and awwwwing over .04 oz lost. ridonculous!

seashore subjects said...

I went to a MK party once - too complicated, wipe this, brush here, dab this - jeez - give me some good moisturizer and eyeliner and I am good to go! But, it was fun (hehe - in a girly way)

Bad Momma said...

There's a reason I'm never invited to "Home Parties" for these kinds of things.....

I do wonder if MK makes a lip plumper... (see photo on my blog)

Michelle said...

Umm, pearls of sharing as in they wear the same earrings across multiple people? Ick! I'm funny that way.

Way cool on the fun with your friend though. I apparently need to make friends who sell that. Instead of Usborne. And Tastefully Simple. And Lia Sophia. And CaBI (or however you capitalize it).

Have fun with your Lou's tomorrow... I'm so bummed :(

Momisodes said...

Oh my! I've never been to a Mary Kay event. Now I am totally intrigued :)

de-I said...

Over the years I've had my run ins with a lot of network selling companies like Mary Kay. They all to a certain degree have this 'cult' type attitude to them - many of them to overcome the fact that the products themselves really aren't that special.

Oscar said...

Pretty scary, almost Amway-ish

Time better spent at a bar -

Neutragena makes equivalents to all of those products and they aren't made in China.

The Microblogologist said...

I agreed to be on my friend's taste panel and she fed us nasty store bought tortillas to compare to the ones she made the first day and they were beyond nasty and struck up the following exchange:

Guy, "You should give us spit cups in case your tortillas are gross, then we can spit them out!"
Her, "I don't want you to spit, I want you to swallow."
Me = Immaturely laughing my butt off.

I am not sure that anyone else caught the double meaning, or if they did they totally had the maturity to not start laughing hysterically...

Mrs4444 said...

OMG, Weaselmomma! I was invited to MK Kool-aid reception JUST LIKE THAT a couple of years back. "Stand up if you are wearing your MK look." "Stay standing if you are wearing hose and heels." etc. etc. etc. Clap clap clap. Talk about surreal; I loved it, but I felt like I had fallen onto another planet!

Mike said...

Kind of sounded a lot like a bad Star Trek movie where the Borg will "assimulate" you into their collective. Be afraid, very afraid...

nonnasnonsense said...

really wished you had answered RhondLue, dangit. i'm off to google "alternate meanings for pearl necklace". i hate being out of the loop. not to mention i wear a damn pearl necklace every now and then. i need to know if i shouldn't be!

nonnasnonsense said...

ewwww gross. never wearing my pearls again! now i wish i didn't know...damn that google!

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