Thanksgiving Fun

*This was originally posted in November 2008*

Ahhh, Thanksgiving. A Time to come together with family and celebrate all of the blessings we have. A day to remember, appreciate and show gratitude for yet having survived another year. A day that more times than not is filled with landmines just waiting to be stepped on.

When spending the holiday with relatives, either by blood or marriage, there is always going to be sniper fire. Comments from Aunt Cookie, who still can't believe he married that little tramp, to the effect of "MMMMM, this tastes wonderful. It's not nearly as dry as it looks" and the inevitable small talk around the wine bottle about "little Susie's boobies are starting to bud". The conversation throughout the day will continually go downhill and you will soon get to hear all about Grandpa Dan's prostate in more detail than you can digest through.

You will hear all the play by play of cousin Lucy and her husband Jed's infertility issues, as Aunt Betsy is in the corner telling everyone that they can't conceive because Lucy was a tramp in college. Speculation and rumor of divorce will be whispered about Mike and Sara because they didn't accept the invitation to dinner. In reality, they were smart enough to avoid this whole scene in favor of 4 nights in the Bahamas.

Soon desert will be served. As Uncle Lou scoffs down his 3rd piece of homemade pie, Aunt Cookie asks "where did you buy the pie? I hope you didn't pay too much, it's a bit too sweet". You want to scream, but you have to play nice. You try to hide in the bathroom to take a few deep breaths only to find it occupied with Aunt Betsy and a colitis attack. Aunt Cookie blames the gravy.

In order to protect ourselves, here in Weaselville we start the day with bloody Mary's. They are just enough armour to deflect the scathing comments and numb the conversation. They take the edge off of an exhausting day. A huge debt of gratitude goes out to my sister-in-law for bringing this tradition to our family.

Here and now, I propose to you a new national holiday ~Grateful Friday~(to be celebrated on the 4th Friday of November) in order to appreciate and mock our relatives from a distance while enjoying a meal with friends. A day to show gratitude for the people we hang out with by choice, not just by birth or marriage. A day to celebrate and be grateful for having survived another Thanksgiving. We already have the day off of work. We already have dinner made, and the Bloody Mary's can be for fun and not just medicinal.

And a huge shout out to BadMomma who has a brilliantly funny Thanksgiving Survival Guide.