Tuesday, September 9, 2008

Stupid Thoughts


Today I thought I would try the 'stick to what you' theme. Stupid thoughts is something I have an overflowing resume of.

1. How come Puerto Rico won't vote in favor or statehood, but California won't secceed (no offense to Mike or BusyDad)?

2. Why does my entering a checkout line prompt the person in front of me to write a check?

3. If Ella Fitzgerald married Alan Funt, she would have been Ella Funt(sound it out people).

4. Why does buckling a car seat immediately give small children the urge to use the bathroom?

5. Why is it that every time I find a really great style of jeans, the manufacturer discontinues them?

6. Why is it that you start feeling better just a soon as you make an appointment to see the doctor?

7. Why does the weather always seem to turn lousy every time I have a day of errand running to do?

8. Why do we as a country sink so much more money into Alzheimer's research that we do SIDS research?

9. Why does advertising for cat food served in fine crystal work? They are cats. They will dig for rotten fish in the garbage. They don't have extremely discerning pallets.

10. How come the greater a man's IQ, the less likely he is to be able to dress himself?

11. Why can young boys memorize every pokemon and their abilities/stats, but not remember anything they did in school?

12. Why does it always rain after I water the grass? Or wash the car?

13. Last but not least, why are you still reading this lame wad list? You know you have better things to do with your time. That said I love all my readers for sticking it through to the bottom, especially with posts like this. I wish you all a beer.

P.S. OhCaptain has come up with answers to these questions for me and has posted them at The Life and Thoughts of A Midwest Geek.

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9 comments:

Momo Fali said...

Good, I like beer.

And, number 6? Really! Why?!!!

OhCaptain said...

I concur: beer = good.
Answers:
1. Puerto Rico is on to something
2. Start wearing aluminum foil helmets. Protects from death rays, eavesdropping governments and causes people to "get it done"
3. Yes.
4. Why is it when you go to movie, ceremony, church thing that has a hard start and you get there early, no one has to go but as soon as the event starts, there is a tug...
5. The universe is out to get you. Just learn to deal with it.
6. Start wearing an aluminum foil helmet. Trust me.
7. See answer to 5.
8. Old people vote in huge numbers. Babies and their parents do not.
9. Why do people spend money on fancy beds for their cats? Dress them to look like little people? Feed them? I don't like cats. Remind me of rats.
10. Futility of vanity. I dress poorly. Must mean I'm smart ;-)
11. Because they were playing with the Pokeman thing all day. Geez.
12. Again, see answer 5.
13. I like beer. Saturday night was a little rough, but I got done what I needed to. The Mrs wanted me to get rid of all the stray beer. Dumping it out was suggested. The one thing I remember from college? Dumping out beer is alcohol abuse. Nuff said.

Happy Tuesday!

Sogeshirtsguy said...

I like beer too. I'll drink while my home state california secedes.

Weaselmomma said...

Captain, That's a really cool post. You should post it at mid-west geek and we could do a whole tack back thing.

Mike said...

I don't think it was for lack of trying that California didn't secceed. I think most of us are in a haze and couldn't care less...

By the way this Bud is for you.

BusyDad said...

mmm beer. I needed that. and hell no. Passport stamp everytime I went to Vegas would mean papertrail. Me no need no papertrail. knowwhutimean?

terri said...

Thanks, I'm going to grab a beer!

OhCaptain said...

Post up.

Tom said...

I'm with Busydad. If California goes, then I'll have to have a passport to visit Disneyland. And my family. Much as we Oregonians dislike California, particularly the southern-ish parts, I say it has to stick around.

And thanks for the beer.

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