Tuesday, September 30, 2008

Widgets, Midgets and Weasels

I need a lot more than Calgon. My friends Jim(Beam) and Johnny(Walker), probably won't be of much assistance either. It's just going to be one of those weeks.

Where to start.....hmmmmm. Well, one of the Weasels is putting me through the ringer. School, home and personal hygiene all seem to be buttons that she is pushing with me. This is not her normal mode of parental torture, usually she just ignores chores. But for, who on earth knows why, she has upped the ante. Maybe she is running an scientific experiment to test the amount of stress I can handle before I spontaneously combust. She should see results very soon.

Last weekend The Weasel Family made a really great video post. Much better than any of the crap you are reading right now this week. Problem is, Mr. Weasel can't find the right widget to download from his camera to the Mac. "Give me 24 hrs." he said. That was 9 days ago.

Next on the list, the stupid toilet. It had been running. We fixed it. It started running again. We fixed it again. Still running. We temporarily gave up. We started to adjust the valve manually after every flush. We would revisit the problem on the weekend. Enter the crash heard from bathroom. While a Weasel was attempting to adjust the valve, the tank lid fell. The lid didn't break, but it took out a nice chunk on the outside of the bowl. Should just be an aesthetic problem, but we will have to replace toilet. Flush again, water comes out the side in a stream like a peeing fountain. The most used bathroom in the house is rendered 'out of order'. We must now replace ASAP.

Sunday, Mr. Weasel heads out to buy a new toilet. He comes home with groceries. I didn't get it either, until he explained that he had stopped to pick up groceries on the way home because he forgot to get some measurement or something before purchase of new toilet.

He heads back out to buy toilet yet again. He comes home with toilet this time. Hoorah! He decides to leave it in the car for now and to fix it the next night. Fine by me. Monday night, install time. Friend comes over to help. Mr. Weasel brings said toilet in from the car. Mr. Weasel starts cursing. He bought a white tank and an almond bowl. Back to store yet again. Friend also mentions that Mr. Weasel might want to get a seat also. What'dya mean new toilets don't come with a seat? You gotta be kidding me! Well they don't, and he grabs a plain white seat while at the store too to save him from yet another trip.

Back home and ready to install. Mr. Weasel will have to go back to the store again. "Why?", you may ask. because he grabbed a $52.00 toilet seat! What the heck! What kind of miracle massaging, heated, self cleaning, gender discerning toilet seat do they sell for $52.00? Nope, just a plain white toilet seat. It does claim to be 'quiet close', but that is the only special feature. Mr. Weasel didn't see the price when he grabbed it. It will go back, just not right now. There is work to be done.

So friend and Mr. Weasel install toilet, no further problems. I wake up this morning and head for the bathroom. We just reinstalled the old seat for now. I look at the toilet. It seems small, shorter than previous toilet. I go to sit down and think I am going to fall into a black hole. My knees may soon be in my chest. This things is so low to the ground it must have been made for midgets!(get over it, little people if you must). I am only 5"4", and this thing was short even for me. It's bigger than the toddler size toilets, but not by much. It's short enough that I will have to repaint the bathroom. You can see the lack of paint behind where the toilet used to be.

I hate the new toilet. Hate it. And I am now stuck with it for at least the next 20 or so years. I can't tell Mr. Weasel I hate it. He put too much effort in, and this is not his natural forte. Besides, boy Weasel was in a rush to break it in, can't return it now. Maybe it will grow on me. Hopefully with enough fertilizer and water it will just grow.

I swear that these sort of things don't happen to other people. Please prove me wrong.

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Tom said...

Yes, they do.

And all I could think of while reading this was "I hope they replaced the wax ring."

Weaselmomma said...

We did manage to replace the wax ring. Although we had to buy 2. The first one was not the right height.

Missy said...

We did just buy a real old ugly fixer upper and just had toilet replacing fun. I will say however...regarding height...we had the opposite problem. My hubs asked advice from people who were six feet tall and bought the tallest toilet he could find. I am 5 feet and some cms...my feet dangle like a little kid on the front pew in church.

nukedad said...

Hope the rest of your week doesn't go down the (new) crapper.

Chris H said...

Shame about the loo... I hope your husband is 6foot 6inches tall and realised it's too darn short! Maybe you can get another one sooner? I can't see it 'growing' at all!

Mike said...

You guys have way to much fun at your house. I remember those days fondly where every trip to Home Depot was a return trip again and again.

BTW your daughter's issues are just a phase. She should grow out of it soon (sacrastic voice).

Melisa said...

Just think of how strong your quads are going to be, all in a matter of weeks. In fact, when you stand up, do some calf raises.

Bathroom time = Workout time.

Michelle said...

Ummm whoops. Wish I could have recommended the Toto Drake to you. SO worth it. And the lid came with it. And it can't slam. Sooooo cool. Of course I didn't even try to have my husband install it. Had a professional come in and replace all four of them -- efficiencies in scale, you know?

OhCaptain said...

Uff. What a week for you. I've had some home improvement projects go awry. I too was hoping the whole way through that "wax donut" would show up somewhere.

When we built this house, the plummer forgot something. He forgot to put the seal around drain in the bathtub upstairs. My screams about water flowing from the ceiling onto the dining room table were quite shocking to the Mrs - on the first night in our new home.

Big Bad Daddy said...

I had a similar Toilet Saga trying to determine the origin of a phantom leak seemingly coming from under the base. I had an equal number of trips back and forth to the hardware store that involved three different seal techniques. On the third try I found the crustiest, most ornery old bastard in the store and he said "You young folk, always breakin' what don't need fixin'" and then handed me the tried and true $5.00 wax ring. It seems to have worked.

The Microblogologist said...

You could bribe a weasel to accidentally.....

Cheffie-Mom said...

Oh my gosh! LOL! You are too funny! These things do happen at our house, and on a regular basis!

Tara R. said...

Day-um... you need a vacation. I hear Florida is nice this time of year.

Manic Mom said...

Good Lord, your having a week like me. Don't do that, it's a bad habit!!! Let's go have drinks together, many drinks!!! LOL

wblmom said...

Girlfriend, I only thought those things happened to my husband and me. LMAO
I was glad to hear they happen to others like yourself as well!! :)
Your toilette issue is so similar to an entertainment center fiasco we had once, oh the memories, lol

terri said...

I know you have a toilet issue... but I can't help but keep thinking back to the part where you said Mr. Weasel went out to buy a toilet and came home with groceries. What kind of smart, thoughtful, common-sensical man did you marry? I hope you won't be offended if I tell you I think I have a crush on your husband!

Bad Momma said...

Whew! Reminds me a little bit of our new refrigerator ordeal a few years ago.

After our old fridge died, we opted for a shiny, new white one with automatic ice & water dispenser and glowed in the dark.

Hubby carefully measured and removed just 1/2 inch of counter space to allow for a 36" appliance.

We found when it was delivered, that the 36" did not account for the extra 1/2 inch that our new marvel bowed out in the middle of each side.

For several weeks we had our new fridge in the middle of our kitchen while a section of cabinetry was removed and yet more of the counter.

My hubby came dangerously close to taking out a section of wall before I stopped him. The floor is slightly bowed and every time we open the right side of the fridge, we need to catch it before it slams open into the wall.

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