I need a lot more than Calgon. My friends Jim(Beam) and Johnny(Walker), probably won't be of much assistance either. It's just going to be one of those weeks.
Where to start.....hmmmmm. Well, one of the Weasels is putting me through the ringer. School, home and personal hygiene all seem to be buttons that she is pushing with me. This is not her normal mode of parental torture, usually she just ignores chores. But for, who on earth knows why, she has upped the ante. Maybe she is running an scientific experiment to test the amount of stress I can handle before I spontaneously combust. She should see results very soon.
Last weekend The Weasel Family made a really great video post. Much better than any of the crap you are reading
right now this week. Problem is, Mr. Weasel can't find the right widget to download from his camera to the Mac. "Give me 24 hrs." he said. That was 9 days ago.
Next on the list, the stupid toilet. It had been running. We fixed it. It started running again. We fixed it again. Still running. We temporarily gave up. We started to adjust the valve manually after every flush. We would revisit the problem on the weekend. Enter the crash heard from bathroom. While a Weasel was attempting to adjust the valve, the tank lid fell. The lid didn't break, but it took out a nice chunk on the outside of the bowl. Should just be an aesthetic problem, but we will have to replace toilet. Flush again, water comes out the side in a stream like a
peeing fountain. The most used bathroom in the house is rendered 'out of order'. We must now replace ASAP.
Sunday, Mr. Weasel heads out to buy a new toilet. He comes home with groceries. I didn't get it either, until he explained that he had stopped to pick up groceries on the way home because he forgot to get some measurement or something before purchase of new toilet.
He heads back out to buy toilet yet again. He comes home with toilet this time. Hoorah! He decides to leave it in the car for now and to fix it the next night. Fine by me. Monday night, install time. Friend comes over to help. Mr. Weasel brings said toilet in from the car. Mr. Weasel starts cursing. He bought a white tank and an almond bowl. Back to store yet again. Friend also mentions that Mr. Weasel might want to get a seat also. What'dya mean new toilets don't come with a seat? You gotta be kidding me! Well they don't, and he grabs a plain white seat while at the store too to save him from yet another trip.
Back home and ready to install. Mr. Weasel will have to go back to the store again. "Why?", you may ask. because he grabbed a $52.00 toilet seat! What the heck! What kind of miracle massaging, heated, self cleaning, gender discerning toilet seat do they sell for $52.00? Nope, just a plain white toilet seat. It does claim to be 'quiet close', but that is the only special feature. Mr. Weasel didn't see the price when he grabbed it. It will go back, just not right now. There is work to be done.
So friend and Mr. Weasel install toilet, no further problems. I wake up this morning and head for the bathroom. We just reinstalled the old seat for now. I look at the toilet. It seems small, shorter than previous toilet. I go to sit down and think I am going to fall into a black hole. My knees may soon be in my chest. This things is so low to the ground it must have been made for midgets!(get over it, little people if you must). I am only 5"4", and this thing was short even for me. It's bigger than the toddler size toilets, but not by much. It's short enough that I will have to repaint the bathroom. You can see the lack of paint behind where the toilet used to be.
I hate the new toilet. Hate it. And I am now stuck with it for at least the next 20 or so years. I can't tell Mr. Weasel I hate it. He put too much effort in, and this is not his natural forte. Besides, boy Weasel was in a rush to break it in, can't return it now. Maybe it will grow on me. Hopefully with enough fertilizer and water it will just grow.
I swear that these sort of things don't happen to other people. Please prove me wrong.
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