Wednesday, June 3, 2009

Mama Said There'd Be Days Like This

So yesterday was one of those days. You know the kind. We've all been there. The kind where the pain just keeps coming at you unexpectedly from all directions. Days that make your mother-in-law's mashed potatoes look smooth. Yeah, it was one of those days.

It started out fine with the usual morning mayhem of getting everyone out of the house. I returned from the morning school drop-off and pecked out a Dear WeaselMomma column at Dad-Blogs.

I got some chores done around the house while Eldest Weasel decided that we should take a family vacation to Hawaii. I informed her that there is no way that we can take a Hawaiian vacation. Money and time -money especially- are big obstacles to overcome. She continued to research packages/hotels/restaurants et al and informing me of the deals she was finding.

I continued tinkering in the kitchen making some frozen treats with the assistance -and boy am I using that term loosely- of Smallest Weasel. While Eldest is holding on tighter than a pit bull to the idea of Hawaii. "What about your retirement money? Do you have any left? We could use that to go to Hawaii and you and Dad can just live with me" as she whispers loudly to Smallest Weasel "for 3 days". I could feel my left eye start to twitch.

Around 1 pm the phone rings. Middle Weasel is in the school office with extreme pain in her right side. The child is in tears. I call the pediatrician, who of course,is not in the office and am told to take her to the ER to test for appendicitis. I call Mr. Weasel on the way to school and he hops the next train home, I pick up tear filled Middle Weasel and head for the hospital. I make arrangements for the other Weasels to get a ride home after school and spend the next 5 hours in the ER getting beacoup bucks of tests run.

Mr. Weasel opts for ordering a pizza for dinner. I sit and wait for test results. Middle Weasel heads to the restroom and after about 5 minutes feels magically better. UGH. This was a $1000 belly ache. All's well that ends well, but really. Come on. You have got to be kidding me. Sure I'm glad it was nothing serious, but did we really have to spend all that time and money to find out?

Back home, I start emptying kids pockets to throw a load of clothes into the washer....
and what to my wondering eyes do appear
but a folded up paper by Boy Weasel, my dear.
Unfolding the paper, my eyes opened wide.
I thought to myself, this Boy's gonna die.
For this paper I held in my hands once before.
This paper I held on the Friday before.
This paper I held as I had rushed out the door.

That's right. This was the same paper that I hand delivered to the boys classroom in my bathrobe and pigtails. He didn't hand it in! You must be asking yourself "why didn't he hand it in?". I asked the same question. His response "I forgot". You have got to be kidding me! He's been told never to call me from school again, for anything. If his brains are falling out of his head, the teacher will call.

To top things off, after all the dust had settled, Eldest Weasel brings up Hawaii again. "How come we have $1000 for the hospital, but we can't go to Hawaii". Granted, she was kidding, but this kid needs to work on her sense of timing.

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26 comments:

Andrew's Daddies said...

That sounds like a day from hell. I'm glad middle weasel is feeling better. What's going on with boy weasel? Maybe the paper was not complete so he did not turn it in?. With you making that grand entrance to his school, I would think it would be hard for him to simply forget the turn it in...

You must have been relieved to be in bed falling asleep last night.

BusyDad said...

Pass the JD please. Sympathy eye twitches going on here.

Jason said...

wow... Yesterday was just not your day. Maybe a trip to Hawaii to calm the nerves...just a suggestion :D

WeaselMomma said...

@ Andrew's Daddies ~ It was done. The best I can tell, my boy is suffering from his Polish heritage.

@ BusyDad ~ I was drinking Jameson, but I think I have some JD around here for you.

@ Jason ~ If you fund us, we are there.

Tom said...

This is the situation where you line them all up and clonk their skulls together like coconuts.

Ours do the same things; forgotten homework and bad timing and fatal diseases that mysteriously vanish. This is why there's always at least three kinds of rum in our house.

Kat said...

Crapolino, what a crap day. No pun intended.

surprised mom said...

Wow! You had a hell of a day! And I thought life over here was nuts! And you went for the hard stuff and skipped over the Coors Lite. Now I know someone just stepped on your last nerve. Never fear, school is almost over and summer is almost here. (After finding the paper in his pocket, is Boy Weasel still alive? LOL). You deserve a day at the spa!

'cuz I'm the mommy, that's why! said...

Hope today is better! Me? I would've handed the paper to the teacher myself after having to get gussied up and drive back in!

Otter Thomas said...

I'm sorry that you had a terrible day. It sounds like more than enought to make me loose my cool. I get so mad at doctors running 800 tests. I want to tell them that any idiot could run a million tests. I thought doctors were supposed to be able to diagnose simple things like belly aches.

Momisodes said...

Good grief.

Allow me to pour you a glass/bottle of wine. My eye's twitching just reading about your day.

terri said...

I'm joining the eye twitching club. My middle son, the GRADUATE, informed me last night that he couldn't graduate if he didn't turn in a $15 auto shop fee that he has neglected to turn in for an entire trimester. Better late than never, I guess. He turned it in this morning.

statmom said...

You have no idea how well timed this post was. I was having "one of those days" today too. Thanks for the smile. Sorry about the $1000 stomach ache!

WeaselMomma said...

@ Tom ~ Oh how I want to clonk the heads together. Your rum is a great plan ahead, make me a drink?

@ Kat ~ Still a funny pun though.

@ surprised ~ and i went today for a nice mani/pedi.

@ Cuz ~ The whole point (that the boy missed) was his personal responsibility. That's why I didn't hand it to the teacher myself.

@ Otter ~ The problem being that she had the right pains in the right places and it all had to be tested to be sure.

@ Momisodes ~ Thank you and cheers.

@ Terri ~ So, your not offering me any hope that they grow out of this sort of stupidity?

@ Statmom ~ I'm always happy to put a smile on someone's face. I hope tomorrow is better for you.

de-I said...

You deserve that job with brewery you wrote about a while back after a day like that.

NukeDad said...

After a day like that I think finding the paper in the pants pocket would have sent me over the edge in a Rod Serling pan out from the vibrating uvula kind of way. As my scream continued you would see my hands yanking the remaining small amount of hair out of my head. Then you would see the paddy wagon taking me away to the nice place with the padded walls. Fin.

Michelle said...

Yikes. I think someone needs a timeout. And it might be Weaselmomma with a few bottles of beer. In a quiet room that no children can get to.

So much for my theory that the pigtails would be the solution long term. *sigh*

Melisa with one S said...

I'm just gonna go with what Nukedad said, because he described it perfectly.

Do you want me to come over and give Boy Weasel a good talking to? I've had lots of practice lately...

Gertrude Groggins - said...

It's not just you. The pre-teens, teens & tweens - they are ALL revolting! And I don't mean they're gross. I mean:
to break away from or rise against constituted authority, as by open rebellion; cast off allegiance or subjection to those in authority; rebel; mutiny: to revolt against the present government.

Something must be done!

seashore subjects said...

Take heed - summer is almost here! Just a few more days until you will be free of your bonds.

BTW: you could sneak to sunnyland and just sit at the beach - beautiful white sand. Mi casa es su casa!

Cheffie-Mom said...

You need a long bubble bath! Oh, and how cool is the column! Thanks for the link! enJOY your day!

Bad Momma said...

Sounds like your family needs more fiber in their diets. Bran for middle weasel; a week-old report for Boy Weasel (& next time try curlers; the pink foam kind) and for eldest some dried fruit & Macademia Nuts.

You then need to whip out the blender & make Pina Coladas and serve them in giant pineapples. At this point I'd make them for the entire family - with extra rum.

Cookie said...

Yikes. All I can say is that I'm glad this didn't happen to me!

RhondaLue said...

Ahhh, the unturned in papers! Classic ADD behavior! (not saying your kid has that, just that I'm used to that stuff because my brothers had add and I have a son with Adhd who'd lose his head if it wasn't screwed onto his shoulders!) SO frustrating!

Anyway, I hope your having some better days!

Laura said...

Oh, My Friend! We just had that same ER visit with my eldest (8 yrs. old), even AFTER a surgeon friend came over to look at her--at least he made me feel better about the ER visit, & thank GOD for insurance! I think the IV & the suppository (w/ promise of a follow-up enema) will keep future elimination issues at bay. Not to mention the Miralax that I am now slipping into her kool-aid at the first sign of stomach distress (every few days). Cheers! :)

Mrs4444 said...

Sorry, but this post cracked me up. So funny. Glad it was nothing serious for MW.

The Microblogologist said...

When my appendix decided it no longer wished to reside in my body they only ran a few tests and called the surgeon who booked an OR immediately. I wasn't in the ER for very long, though the time spent in the waiting room was beyond ridiculous! Glad she didn't join me in the appendixless club!

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