Tuesday, December 9, 2008

How Google Stole Christmas

All the Weasels in Weaselville like Christmas a lot, but King Larry who heads up Google did not. King Larry disliked Weasels and all of their seasons. Please don't ask why, he won't tell me the reason.

It could be he didn't like me advertising ads. It could be, perhaps that he likes Weasels sad.
But I think that the most likely reason of all, may have been that King Larry's heart is two sizes too small.

I played by the rules
and I didn't do clicking.
$200 is lost and that is just sickening.

Other people click clicked, other people went shopping.
King Larry made me mad, so mad I am hopping.

Whatever the reason the posts or the tears,
He sat down last night and gave me more fears.
Fears of worse finances and fears about stockings.
Fears about how on earth Santa is shopping.

For on Christmas he knew all the Weasel Girls and boy, would wake bright and early and share Christmas joy.

He sat at his desk, greedy fingers a tapping.
"I must find a way to stop Weasel Christmas from happening"
"Their Dad's out of work, but their Mom found a way, I won't support Christmas, no way way way way!

I must use my power, and only for evil, I must find a way to steal Christmas from Weasels!"

Then King Larry got an idea. An awful idea! King Larry got a horrible, awful idea.

I'll cancel the ads, no more account. I do not care about how the Weasel bills mount!

I know what I'll do, I will not pay the fee.
Google was able to get adverts for free.

So he hooked up his laptop and got on with the deed,
who cares that the Weasels are children in need.

He canceled the ads, and the account.
He stopped the check from being sent out.

All the Weasels in Weaselville really don't care.
They know that Christmas is not about flare.

They know that Christmas is all about Joy.
They know that Christmas is not about toys.
They know the gifts that are wrapped are Christ's Love,
The ultimate gift of Heaven above.

Christmas is Love and giving of self,
Not about gifts that were bought from a shelf.

You my dear readers are the best gift this year.
You bring me joy, you bring me good cheer.
You offer us friendship, you try to help out.
And that my dear friends is what Christmas is about.

Wishing you all a Holy and Blessed Christmas Season. May you enjoy the grace that God bestows upon you. Thanks again for all of the clicks. I have the best readers ever and I am grateful.

Stumble Upon Toolbar


nonna said...

how can they do that??
ugh, life is so unfair!
i'll hit king larry with a bat
and then see how much he care(s)

ok, so i obviously am NOT good at rhyming and iambic pentameter, but you ARE! that would be a great post, if the subject matter was not so sad, mean, unfair, & just plain wrong! of course your take on things makes it a happy ending. i just wish i could be so gracious and forgiving. wait a minute, no i don't! i want this king larry's ba..um number so i can tell him what i think!

Laura said...

I'm appalled!! When I was on yesterday I was wondering where your ads were for my daily click fest of love. This sucks. Your post is brilliant (as usual) but the driving force behind it is the epitome of true greed & heartlessness. Your attitude is beautiful, but don't you wish you could go after king larry like you did the snowballing brats?
Love, hugs, & prayers coming your way!

Melisa said...

You've got to be kidding me.

Great post; too bad you had to write it about such a huge jacka$$.


Daddy Dan said...

That sucks, WeaselMomma!

RhondaLue said...

How can they do that indeed?!?! I'm spittin' mad for you!

Tara R. said...

That is horrible! That's worse than Grinch... that's Scrooge, with an emphasis on 'screw.' Sorry, Weasel Momma.

Weaselmomma said...

@ all ~ I am disappointed, but there is not much I can do, Like it or not That Larry's a (No, I am sooo not going there)creep. *I am in no way advocating personal violence*(wink @ Nonna). Google can choose whether or not they wish to advertise on my site. What ticks me off is they are not going to pay out what has already been clicked and shopped. People did email me me to tell me about actual shopping sights they had made plans to use.

Tom said...

I hope he goes home and chokes on his egg nog. The ingenuous montebank! Sorry to all of you, that really sucks. I was so happy that at least you had that to look forward to.

nonna said...

seems like something legal could be done...any lawyers around that have any advice?? be nice if a local news station would do an "investigative report" on it ;)

Momisodes said...

That is just awful. AWFUL! Especially during the holidays. I am so sorry.

Mike said...

Thank you for you Christmas blessings. My family wants to wish yours many blessings also this holiday season.

And remember, Karma is a bitch.

terri said...

This SUCKS! Unfortunately I'm not surprised. One of the reasons I never put ads on my site is that most people I know have been "disqualified" for one reason or another. There doesn't seem to be a rhyme or reason. I'm sorry this happened.

Michelle said...

Bummer. BUT I must say that was quite the poem. I won't say it brought me more Christmas spirit, but ... beautiful!

OhCaptain said...

That blows.

The Microblogologist said...

That is so ridiculous to not pay out what was already clicked! Canceling the program/system is one thing but essentially stealing the money that was owed you (and anyone else) seems pretty shady! They probably put a ton of disclaimers or something in the TOS so it is legal for them to screw people over.

I had been thinking about adding the ads to mine and giving the money to charity whenever I got enough, perhaps have some sort of interactive thing where people helped choose the charity somehow, possibly by blogging their choice in their blog or as a guest post on mine. If it had caught on it would have been a good way to bring attention to different charities, probably would not have gotten much money for them but getting the word out about their cause is generally not a bad thing. Guess that won't be happening, sad since I had been plotting it and really liked the idea.

I am glad you all know the true meaning of Christmas and so while it is disappointing it won't ruin the holiday!

Related Posts with Thumbnails