In Fond Rememberance...........

In the family of my birth, we can obviously laugh at some pretty strange things. Things that make outsiders cringe. Things that people don't always understand or get. Things that bystanders can't believe we just did or said. Inappropriate is a way of life. In that spirit, I want you to laugh at this post and admit that it would make great National Lampoon fodder.

Like the time my mother had just returned from vacation, sporting a new ring of Rubies, Sapphires and Diamonds, while visiting my sister. My sister asked "Whatcha got there?". Mom responded by covering the ring with her other hand and chuckling "Nothing, what are you talking about?". Sister dear counted with "You know, that ring that I am going to have to pry off your cold dead finger." Mom laughed - hard. My sister's MIL (an innocent bystander) almost chocked in shock that such a thing would be said. A few years later that's exactly what my sister had to do and we all laughed ourselves half to death when it happened.

The night before Mom's funeral my siblings and I gathered at my brothers home. We were enjoying being all together (living states apart, this doesn't happen but every few years), reminiscing about childhood and all the memories of old stories from our adventures growing up. We thought it would be nice if we could come up with a great story about Mom to eulogize and share at her funeral. We sat poolside having a few beers and coming up with stories to tell. "I got one, I got one" we took turns saying, and as we got closer to the end of the story remembered that it didn't end well or was something that couldn't be shared publicly among Mom's friends who really didn't know us. These stories had us laughing ourselves silly, but would only garner gasps from those assembled in the church.

We came up with at least a hundred different gut busting family stories. Not one of which was appropriate for public consumption. We tried to edit the stories, but they only lost their charm and humor in the process. The bests parts were the worst actions. Even on our way to church to next morning we were still trying to brainstorm. Only to come to the conclusion that none of us would eulogize. We would leave it up to a friend of Mom's who volunteered.

Arriving at the church and being greeted by a friend of Mom's who helped to plan these things, I let her know that none of us would be speaking. "I understand, many times the family is too broken up. I will have (the volunteer) do it". Yeah, let's go with that. So, during the Mass, when the time came the priest announces "I understand that one of the children of the deceased would like to say a few words now".

Crickets.

*Do not make eye contact*

Crickets

*look directly at shoes*

Crickets

*gasps of disbelief from those gathered. 95% of which do not know us*

Crickets

The silence is too much and the 4 of us start to snicker uncontrollably.

*More gasping about what awful children we must be*

Finally the priest moves on with "I guess not. I understand a friend of the deceased would like to share a few words". And she did. She delivered a beautiful and kind eulogy. The kind of eulogy that made us look even worse than we already did.

In the end, Mom gave us one more funny family story that is not fit for public consumption. But heck, it's out there now. And we know that Mom and Dad both were laughing right along with the 4 of us. They get us, even if no one else does.

SideNotes: 1.) I am still working on my Stupid Human Trick since Mrs4444 crushed the idea I was working on with Monkey Weasel.
2.) I want to speak at BlogHer(why? why the heck not) and need to submit a post to speak about for consideration. I don't know which one I want to submit. It's up to you to stalk my archives and vote in my comments.