I Am Become Death, Destroyer of Worlds

I felt a great disturbance in the Force, as if millions of voices suddenly cried out in terror and were suddenly silenced. I fear something terrible has happened.

~ Obi Wan Kenobi

This past weekend we celebrated Smallest Weasel's 5th birthday. She had been bouncier than Tigger in the days leading up to the big event. We didn't plan a party, but just had a modest celebratory day where she was able to choose the dinner (Wendy's with frostys) and what type of cake (pumpkin roll). All the Weasels gave her the presents they had specially picked out for her.

The present that had the most excited response was a kit for growing Sea Monkeys. We opened it up to start the process. Step 1, add the purification pack to room temperature filtered water and let rest for 24 hours. That's a long time for an excited 5 year old to wait. Step 2, add packet of Sea Monkey eggs and place in a dark place with no sunlight for 4-5 days. This is really testing her ability to be patient, but she knows that the end result will be worth it. Step 3, after the Sea Monkeys hatch add the food. Let's not even worry about this step yet.

I'll now let her tell you what happened next:


WeaselMomma's Translation:
Every morning this week she and Mr. Weasel would check on them to see if there had been and progress overnight. And every morning there would be slight disappointment and the knowledge that it would be at least another 24 hours of waiting.

That is until this morning. In the midst the chaos that we call getting ready for school, Smallest and her Dad were elated to see the eggs had hatched and teeny tiny Sea Monkeys were swimming all around their small plastic aquarium. Everyone came running to see. Ooh's and Ahhs abounded with exclamations of "I see one" and "There's another one", that is from everyone but me. I couldn't spot anything in that aquarium. Everyone started to point them out to me. Still I could see nothing. Finally, I asked Mr. Weasel to hand me the container so that I could get a closer look under better lighting. He did so, and about 2 seconds after I took possession of my daughters newly grown pets, I. Dropped. It.

Sea Monkey infested water covered the counter top, cabinets and floor. Mega Mommy Fail. It was destruction beyond any hope of salvage. Complete annihilation of their entire Sea Monkey world. There were no survivors. The Sea Monkeys had come upon doomsday. Armageddon had taken them all out in one fell swoop. All by the hand of "WeaselMomma, destroyer of the Sea Monkeys".

The look on Smallest's face was heartbreaking. Utter shock and disbelief crept across her features. I immediately hugged her and apologized profusely. She quietly started to cry. No loud sobs. No angry tantrum. Just silent tears streaming down her sweet and traumatized cheeks. She quietly walked back up the stairs, crawled into her bed and pulled up the blankets to hide in her own safe haven sanctuary as grief washed over her.

Mom. Of. The. Year.

I convinced her to get dressed, so that we could be waiting at the doors the second that Target opened. We would get her new Sea Monkeys immediately. Well not really. It would take another 5-6 days of her practicing the patience of a 5 year old saint, but we would buy the kit and start the process immediately.

Needless to say, Mr. Weasel and I are not saving money for college. Instead we are saving up for therapy.