Thursday, March 5, 2009

I Am Become Death, Destroyer of Worlds

I felt a great disturbance in the Force, as if millions of voices suddenly cried out in terror and were suddenly silenced. I fear something terrible has happened.
~ Obi Wan Kenobi

This past weekend we celebrated Smallest Weasel's 5th birthday. She had been bouncier than Tigger in the days leading up to the big event. We didn't plan a party, but just had a modest celebratory day where she was able to choose the dinner (Wendy's with frostys) and what type of cake (pumpkin roll). All the Weasels gave her the presents they had specially picked out for her.

The present that had the most excited response was a kit for growing Sea Monkeys. We opened it up to start the process. Step 1, add the purification pack to room temperature filtered water and let rest for 24 hours. That's a long time for an excited 5 year old to wait. Step 2, add packet of Sea Monkey eggs and place in a dark place with no sunlight for 4-5 days. This is really testing her ability to be patient, but she knows that the end result will be worth it. Step 3, after the Sea Monkeys hatch add the food. Let's not even worry about this step yet.

I'll now let her tell you what happened next:

WeaselMomma's Translation:
Every morning this week she and Mr. Weasel would check on them to see if there had been and progress overnight. And every morning there would be slight disappointment and the knowledge that it would be at least another 24 hours of waiting.

That is until this morning. In the midst the chaos that we call getting ready for school, Smallest and her Dad were elated to see the eggs had hatched and teeny tiny Sea Monkeys were swimming all around their small plastic aquarium. Everyone came running to see. Ooh's and Ahhs abounded with exclamations of "I see one" and "There's another one", that is from everyone but me. I couldn't spot anything in that aquarium. Everyone started to point them out to me. Still I could see nothing. Finally, I asked Mr. Weasel to hand me the container so that I could get a closer look under better lighting. He did so, and about 2 seconds after I took possession of my daughters newly grown pets, I. Dropped. It.

Sea Monkey infested water covered the counter top, cabinets and floor. Mega Mommy Fail. It was destruction beyond any hope of salvage. Complete annihilation of their entire Sea Monkey world. There were no survivors. The Sea Monkeys had come upon doomsday. Armageddon had taken them all out in one fell swoop. All by the hand of "WeaselMomma, destroyer of the Sea Monkeys".

The look on Smallest's face was heartbreaking. Utter shock and disbelief crept across her features. I immediately hugged her and apologized profusely. She quietly started to cry. No loud sobs. No angry tantrum. Just silent tears streaming down her sweet and traumatized cheeks. She quietly walked back up the stairs, crawled into her bed and pulled up the blankets to hide in her own safe haven sanctuary as grief washed over her.

Mom. Of. The. Year.

I convinced her to get dressed, so that we could be waiting at the doors the second that Target opened. We would get her new Sea Monkeys immediately. Well not really. It would take another 5-6 days of her practicing the patience of a 5 year old saint, but we would buy the kit and start the process immediately.

Needless to say, Mr. Weasel and I are not saving money for college. Instead we are saving up for therapy.

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Kat said...

Oh my. The smallest Weasel must be traumatized. Next time make sure to stand as faaaar back as possible while gaping at the Sea Monkeys :)

My mom once killed my bird while cleaning out the cage - on Christmas no less. This story still comes up every single Christmas.

Anonymous said...

The SAME EXACT thing happened to me with my 5 year old son!!! I don't ever remember wishing I could take a moment in time back so badly! We also replaced them, they grew, it was wonderful. They lived an amazingly long time! But I will still NEVER forget that moment, that look on his face, the heartbreak, the regret...ooohhh!!!! So sad for her - and for you.

Tom said...

Wow, you have your work cut out for you, having to help your kids through the trauma of the death of HUNDREDS of family pets simultaneously.

Just be glad it wasn't a tank full of electric eels or barracuda.

Bad Momma said...

SEAMONKEYS!!! I have a funny post on my blog about them (in my best of section). I also have a friend who can get you a great deal on some if you "fail" again!

p.s. if you ever want to get her off the Sea Monkey Fan Wagon, show her the picture of what they really look like, which is nothing like the package would lead you to believe. My boys thought they looked like mosquito larvae!

Big Bad Daddy said...

SugarMomma had a similar experience this week although it was a clay-like mold of ThingOne's hand from pre-school I believe. It got dropped and there where tears, glue was found to immediately attempt re-assembly. It was, semi-successful. At some point in the near future I will attempt to mount it to a board-like substance to reinforce it and hopefully prevent future tragedies.

Melisa with one S said...

I thought I left a comment on this already this morning. Oh well. Anyhoo, first let me say that your smallest Weasel is the CUTEST little girl. She is just adorable. I want to bring her home with me. For a day or two. Then, because I'm used to boys, you can take her home again. Tell her that her recounting of the story was excellent and I can tell that she has enough poise to be really good at public speaking someday. She's precious.

On the note of the deaths, well, we already spoke on the phone so you know that I'm not available today or tomorrow to come and sit shiva with your family, but I have to tell you that we were both wrong: it's 7 days. I'll call the Rabbi for you when I get done here.

But first I have to tell you, regarding your massacre this morning, there's a Jewish saying from the Talmud:

"Saving one life saves an entire world."

What if you kill hundreds? Hmm. Food for thought. :)

Don't worry, I'll still be your friend.

Otter Thomas said...

The fact that your destruction of the sea monkey world led you to quote Obi Wan makes me like you even more.

terri said...

Kids are resilient. Smallest Weasel is adorable and looks ready for a career on stage and not the least bit concerned about the trauma she just suffered.

WeaselMomma said...

@ Kat ~ Mr. has already told me that I am forbidden to go near them and you have to tell the bird story.

@ Annon ~ Yeah, it a award in parenting kind of moment.

@ Tom ~ You kill me. Life insurance for our pets would be sky high.

@ Bad Momma ~ I've read that one. Everybody else should too.

@ Big Bad ~ Nice to know I'm not alone.

seashore subjects said...

Ughhh - I know that feeling. I killed an entire batch of newborn clown fish. That was over 3 years ago, and my kids will tell you all about it. How mom sprayed cleaner too close to the nursery tank....

Nicki said...

Oh, gosh, seamonkeys! Thats what usually does happen to them. When Monkeyboy was about 6 he begged me for SeaMonkeys when we saw them at Target... and then the next day he decided to take them to school for show and tell, and while he was showing them, he dropped them and they spilled all over the floor! Poor seamonkeys...

WeaselMomma said...

@ Melisa ~ She is recovering nicely. We probably won't need to sit Shiva with her, lol. She is a cutie, isn't she? Thanks.

@ Otter ~ It was just to perfectly fitting not to use the quote. Thanks.

@ Terri ~ New Sea Monkeys helped her get over the hump, lol. We are hoping she becomes a big celebrity so that she can support us in our old age.

@ Seashore ~ It's so nice to know that I'm not the only one to wipe out entire populations in one fell swoop.

@ Nicki ~ OH no! At Least he did it himself. It's easy to do.

Momo Fali said...

Nicely done, Grace!

New-Dad-Blog said...

Good point Otter, but I think the use of the Oppenheimer quote was way more boss!

Stay clear of the Hague. They are liable to charge you with crimes against Sea Monkey-kind.

Sue said...

My husband dropped my daughter's beta fish on the table while switching it from bag to bowl. She hasn't let him forget it. Sorry, this could be a story she tells for a long time. At least she is very cute when she tells it!

de-I said...

Never thought of you as Darth Vader but I suppose he could have been a female Weasel - I actually like littlest Weasel's explanation better :)

The Microblogologist said...

Poor brine shrimp! Such a sad mental image of her walking up the stairs and going back to bed. Hmm, wonder if I still have my vial of brine shrimp eggs around here somewhere. I think I bought them to feed the fish but mostly ended up using them to torture Middle Sister who decided to go all "Sea Monkey" crazy and refused to accept the fact that they are really brine shrimp. One day I tossed some of my eggs in there and they grew and she didn't know the difference until I couldn't hold back the laughter of her going on about how her "Sea Monkeys" had sex and made babies. She was less than pleased with me, lol.

Also I kill billions pretty much every time I work, you are such an amateur killer! Either way she is adorable and reminds me of Niecey, who LOVES making vids. We should try to get those two in front of a camera together, see what hilarity ensues!

Michelle said...

On the plus side, this could turn into a great college essay that wins scholarships, right?

Way too cute. And I'm jealous of all that gorgeous thick hair on her!

Michelle said...

Oh, and have you seen the South Park episode? You need to find it if not....

The Father of Five said...

I'd pick up some "non-slip" gloves while I was there!

GREAT story!

WeaselMomma said...

@ Momo ~ I move with all the poise of a hippo.

@ New Dad ~ I love when geeks get my references.

@ Sue ~ I'm sure she will be telling her therapist too.

@ de-I ~ She is definitely a much better and cuter story teller.

@ Micro ~ At least mine was a certified accident!

@ Michelle ~ A scholarship would make it well worth the tears!

@ FoF ~ Not a bad idea, but I am no longer aloud anywhere near them.

Oscar said...

Aw she's adorable.

Murderer! LOL

Wouldn't the first time I accidently destroyed lives. LOL

I once put grated cheese in a fish tank thinking it was fish food.

Laura said...


NukeDad said...

I read some where that this is exactly what happened to Atlantis.

Mrs4444 said...

That child is the CUTEST child EVER! I love her and want to come and kidnap her!

Mama Smurf said...

Parenting rule #1 Thou shalt not destroy the SEA MONKEYS!!! GEEEEEZ! They teach that on day one WeaselMomma!!!


Um, btw, a sea monkey?

PS - Your daughter is just too darn cute!

Unmarried Housewife said...

Awww... Poor Littlest Weasel and Weasel Mama. Kid looked devastated over the news. You have our sympathies.

You should go to the pet store and buy a tube of brine shrimp eggs. That's the less cute name for sea monkies. Look into brine food, I'm sure it'll be around. I doubt those kits really have a long term supply and the little snots can live a few years in a go.

Pretty much all sea monkey kits are is a salt water kit, brine eggs and brine food if I remember. if you bought all the separate components you could have a big fishbowl for them and be able to change their water (something I don't think ever happens to regular seamonkies)

Plus side above the water changing ability is when you get a tube of brine eggs you can make tons of seamonkies, and replenish the population if it ever thins.

ThePittsofBeingPeachy said...

First the smallest weasel could very well be the cutest doll baby on the planet. Second. Shame on you, what were you thinking? LOL. Also we can't enjoy the sea monkey thing here, because living on the gulf of mexico my kid knows they are brine shrimp and they are in every scoop of water we pull out of the gulf. If I could figure out how to separate the bp oil and then freeze dry those suckers we could start a sea monkey conglomerate and I would hire smallest weasel as our spokes person. I could send her bigger shrimp so you could see them without having to spill it LOL.

seashore subjects said...

Maybe that was one of the first hints that you needed glasses! ;)

Anonymous said...

Since I am reading this post many years later, did the second batch survive?

The video is the cutest part!


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