Parting Gifts

My maternal grandmother was not a nice person. Granny was a unique personality, with a 'get off my lawn' temperament, even toward her own family. She treated people badly, and was never known to keep her harsh opinions to herself.

Granny would bad talk my father, no matter what a good husband, father or worker he was. He had just 'made her list' for daring to marry my mother. Even with her grandchildren there was no gentility. A 5 year old wearing anything resembling the color purple would be openly called a tramp. Granny didn't like purple in any shade.

No doubt the woman was a fruit cake not mentally stable and needless to say, I never enjoyed her company. Visits in 15 minute spurts were enough were enough to burn off years of time in purgatory long enough.

As a teen, growing up in the 'hood, I was smart enough not get busted very often a relatively good kid, compared to the frequent precinct visitor cards of many my age. but when I did get busted by my parents they went completely old school on my butt. Hence, I became smarter if not wiser for self preservation purposes and limited these ungodly beatings teachable moments to a minimum. Still, from time to time my plans went awry and my parents would bust me. These were moments of great fear.

One morning, during Sophomore year, I woke up for school and headed down the stairs to find both my parents sitting on the couch together. Immediately my hackles went up and my body temp must have dropped by 10 degrees. Dad was always gone for work well before anyone in the house was awake. Dad never used sick days unless he was direly sick. Dad was sitting on the couch with Mom.

My life literally passed before my eyes, when Dad flatly said "Come here, we need to talk to you." Not in a nostalgic way, but like a Rolodex of all the recent activities I've been involved in and I had to quickly figure out which one I was about to die for. What had they busted me for? What would be my story? Did I have catchy epitaph? If Dad missed work for this I was surely about to be sent back to the manufacturer.

I know I was sweating and am surprised that I wasn't sweating blood. My heart raced as I approached the couch and feared for what would happen next. "Granny passed away overnight" was all my father said as he held my mother. It was all I could do to contain my relief and glee. I have no idea of how I held back a beaming smile or the pure joy I had for life at that moment. My relief was palpable, yet if noticed had gone unmentioned.

This was the kindest act my grandmother had ever done for me and I loved her for it.

I hugged my mother and told her that I was sorry for her loss before gathering my things and heading off to school with a bounce in my step and a new lease on life.

Years later, as an adult and with time having mellowed Mom, I told her this story and watched her laugh. She said "You can thank Granny when you see her see her heaven someday". I said, "if that's where she is".

I wonder is Vegas can offer odds?