Wednesday, September 16, 2009

WeaselMomma's Wisdom, Or What Passes For It

Today allow me to impart on you some of the life lessons I have acquired. These are not any earth shattering revelations, but the small lessons that make life go a little smoother. Keep these tidbits in mind so that you can laugh at yourself for knowing better in the future.

Puppies that will grow to be the size of ponies leave horse sized landmines in the yard, even when they are just little puppies. These lawn biscuits will be reminiscent of Jurassic Park.

When your spouse chuckles and says that they are going to buy computer equipment of equal value to what you spent on a puppy, do not mistakenly assume they are joking.

Cats are not naturally fond of dogs, no matter how friendly the dog may be.

To ensure the highest probability that you step in dinosaur droppings at 5am when taking the puppy to do her business, make sure that every member of the family allows dog to find a different place to set these traps.

When a teenager is kind, helpful and compliant it means they want something. Most likely to invite 25 team mates over for dinner the night before a big meet.

No matter how well you plan and prepare your morning schedule, when a Weasel is involved, someone will have a last minute emergency (IE, Mom the button just fell off of my skirt and it's falling down!) that will have you running late and rushing out of the door. Safety pins are God's little gift to mothers.

Young children will it overly ripe bananas with joy if you convince them that the brown parts are candy.

Boston Market takeout dinners count as a home cooked meal. As does slaving over a hot phone to get dinner on the table.

Last but not least, and I have to give credit for this wisdom to good ole Ben Franklin "Beer, proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy", Cheers!

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16 comments:

de-I said...

Ah - teenagers compliant and helpful - boy I remember that one!

And Ben Franklin and beer - a wise man that Ben.

Heather said...

You are so wise, my friend. I have learned a lot ;)

whatnowdad said...

Ah, Boston Market....gotta love those side dishes!!!

Tom said...

When everything goes smoothly in the morning, that's the time to worry.

Great wisdom! I can certainly relate to the teenager thing. The only time my oldest comes downstairs is when she wants food, money or transportation.

Mike said...

No truer words to live by. We all can use a little wisdom once in a while....

terri said...

You are a wise, wise woman; especially when it comes to knowing how to use a phone to provide dinner and in regards to the importance of beer.

Anonymous said...

I enjoyed your post. The cat will train the puppy regarding acceptable behavior as soon as cat figures out that puppy is there to stay. Cat decides when they play, when they show affection, share a pillow, etc. It is always okay for cat to eat dog food, never okay for dog to eat cat food.

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Tara R. said...

I have also discovered that with large pony-puppies, if they leave a land mine in the house, you will find it in the middle of the night, while in your bare feet.

I agree with the Boston Market dinners.

PJ Mullen said...

I've found that cats aren't very fond of anything really, people included.

Teacher Tom said...

Favorite quote of all time!

seashore subjects said...

The worst is when you are almost out of the door, a smooth morning accomplished and then the crisis hits - so close, yet so far!

Kat said...

You should write a book...Seriously...this is too good an opportunity. Really

Michelle said...

Candy huh? I'll have to try that one since I won't eat them after they start to turn yellow.

And the puppy stuff? I'm still giggling over here and reveling in my lack of puppydom ;) Enjoy her though ... and I do want some new pics!

Mrs4444 said...

I definitely could not live without safety pins! I'd love to stay for coffee, but I should be in bed. Miss you... Hope to see more puppy pics soon. I don't even know her name!!

Mocha Dad said...

Boston Market is like my second home.

surprised mom said...

Cheers, my friend, cheers. You are a wise woman.

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