Monday, October 27, 2008

Safety First

*editors note ~ the orb light above the kids I can't offer explanation for*

We all have heard about the dangers encircling kids while Trick or Treating. Authorities from Pediatricians to to law enforcement to cheapskates have urged us to forgo the ritual of trick or treat in favor of a neighborhood party for the children. All in the name of sucking the fun out of Halloween urban legend the supposed safety of our children. So as my contribution to public awareness of safety precaution procedures I will share with you how we in Weaselville protect our children from possible harm on All Hallow's Eve.

Step one ~ One parent goes trick or treating with the kids. Around here Mr. Weasel takes the Weasels and a travel mug of 'something to keep Daddy warm', and heads off through the neighborhood. By sticking to houses that we know, we keep the kids safe and he ensures his mug gets refilled along his trek.

Step two ~ One parent stays home to hand out candy. I dress up pseudo menacingly(a hooded cape, some really pale make-up, dark shading under the eyes), set up the fire-pit in the driveway handing out candy and smiles to the wee little ones, jello shots to their parents(they deserve to get treats too) and giving the older kids a perfect Halloween scare. It's great and they love it! All you have to do to freak the older kids out is........ nothing. Just stare and don't speak. Slowly walk toward them with candy in hand while keeping your stare. Even the teens get creeped out. Some just walk away and say no thanks. This keeps your house from getting egged from lack of candy and means leftover candy for you.

Step three ~ No candy is to be consumed by children until it has been thoroughly inspected by the parents. Mr. Weasel and I always sort through the candy immediately after the trick or treating is done. We set aside anything that looks delicious suspicious. Paying special attention to any candy combining both chocolate and peanut butter.

Step four ~ Do not alert authorities unnecessarily. Before calling the authorities about any suspicious candy, you must first make sure that it is not a false alarm. The best way to do this is to test the candy yourself. If you eat each and every piece of delicious suspicious candy and don't die(other than from gluttony) there is no reason to alert law enforcement. You may have to throw yourself on top of that grenade, but the kids' safety is worth it.

Step five ~ give the candy a second inspection after the children go to bed. You can never be too careful.

I hope you found this helpful and informative.

****Wishing you all a Safe, Happy and Spooky Halloween!****

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Tom said...

Thank you for this very valuable and enlightening guide! I shall be on guard for anything that looks like it might be a kit-kat, snickers, reese's or hershey's. And I think I'll volunteer to take the kids around this year, and bring my big mug. Good ideas.

nonna said...

great ideas! i just wish that:
1)i didnt live in the boonies where no ghosts or gobblins come a-knockin :-(
2)i could trick or treat at ur house for some jello shots or accompany mr.weasel w/my own travel mug :-)
3)i could be ur quality control on sorting the suspicious candy! lol

Michelle said...

Oh this is perfect. I'm SO taking a mug of something to keep mommy warm this year! And we don't get back from Orlando until Thursday afternoon, so no Jell-O shots this year, but I LOVE that idea for next year. We already have a house a few down from us that hands out hot dogs every year... why not the Jell-O shots, too?

And if you want, I can send all the peanut butter I find your way for inspection.

Mrs4444 said...

I love this post!! Thanks for the smile; I need one today (We got some very sad news last night about a friend's son passing away...) Your post was sweet.

Sabrae said...

Trick or treating is NOTHING like it use to be. When I was a kid (which wasn't long ago I'm only 25) We use to run around for hours going house to house and all by ourselves! LOL no parents nothing just us kids going blocks and blocks getting candy... Can't do that anymore!!! Thanks to the freaks out there who get kicks out of poisioning candy! JERKS! lol

Anonymous said...

You are such a smart mom. I hope someday to be half as smart as you! =D

Sarah said...

LOL! Let me know where your house is, I'll swing by half a dozen times for a jello shot. ;)

Blog Stalker said...

You can never be too careful. Great information everyone should read. Even the older parents who may feel like dropping their guard.

Have a great day!

Momisodes said...

I will gladly remove any chocolate and peanut butter combo from my kid's loot pile :)

LOVE this list! I love the mug idea :)

terri said...

Don't forget to have a surplus of candy for the trick-or-treaters. I like to buy in excess of 10 bags. You just never know if there might be 200 trick-or-treaters. And if not? Oh, well. Guess you'll have to bite the bullet and help consume some of the extra candy.

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