Wednesday, April 15, 2009

The Fugitive

All Points Bulletin
Name: Flat WeaselMomma aka FWM
Height: 11"
Eyes: Yes
Hair:Brown
Distinguishing Features: Hips and thighs that make Momo Fali want to throw things.

Last seen on or about 02-18-09 heading north, after being unfairly accused of a violent crime, presumably to the Big Bad Daddy safehouse north of the border in Canada.

In a phone interview with reporters, from an undisclosed location, Flat WeaselMomma expressed a desire to "clear my good name" and pointed fingers at the Nuke Beagles regarding the brutal slaying of Santa at the Nuke Residence.

FWM also offered up character witnesses such Bad Momma, the Microblogologist, and BusyDad to attest as to her being a well mannered house guest who would never commit such a heinous crime.

What does not bode well for FWM is that Big Bad Daddy and his family have not been seen or heard from since her arrival. Police are concerned about their safety and well being and hope to hear from them soon. Canadian Mounties have been unable to locate their home in the wilderness due to horses who can't work the GPS (No thumbs).

Still, FWM proclaims her innocence and wants to clear her name so that she may continue her World Tour with Melisa and then onto a well deserved vacation in Florida with McMommy.

If you have seen FWM, know of her whereabouts or that of the Big Bad Daddy family, or if you wish to host her at your blog please contact officials @ weaselmomma@yahoo.com or leave a comment.

It is not known if she is armed or dangerous.

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16 comments:

OhCaptain said...

I've been looking for her around southern Minnesota...she's not here!

I'll keep looking.

Melisa with one S said...

*sniff sniff*

PLEEEEEEEASE! Somebody find her!!! We need to know that she's okay!

She's innocent, I know it! She wouldn't cut and run on her own...someone's out to get her!! (Nukedad?)

Flat Weaselmomma, if you're reading this, we all love you and we're gonna find you!!!Is Big Bad Daddy really Big and Bad? Could he have done away with FWM?

NOOOOOOOO!!!!

Help! Somebody!

seashore subjects said...

I hope she's ok. I read those eulogies and epitaphs, and those were for the real weaselmomma! Just imagine how harsh FWM's would be!

terri said...

I just hope FWM wasn't lured to a bonfire. That would be bad!

Vodka Mom said...

holy shit, should I lock my door??????

Bad Momma said...

I'm not sure that I am the best character witness, however, I am shocked at the allegations and flimsy evidence that Nuke Dad presented.

I suspect a set-up along with some fancy photo-shop work!

Tara R. said...

I hope FWM shows up none worse for the wear. Sounds like she could benefit from a vacation at the beach... what about that, I LIVE near the beach. Just saying....

Mrs4444 said...

That's tragic. I've lost Judith Light, too; maybe they're together?! I keep forgetting to tell you that the MK arrived on Monday!! :) Thank you!

Momo Fali said...

That's horrible! Maybe if FWM's thighs were thick enough to rub together, she could start a fire to alert us to her location.

Alas, we shall never know.

NukeDad said...

All you naysayers can defend FWM all you want, but you didn't have to help your children dig a 2 foot by 4 foot hole to bury the bloody carcass of stuffed Santa Claus, did you? I didn't think so.

Do you think Bill Kurtis from A & E's TV shows "Investigative Reports", "Notorious" and all the other ones contacts just anybody? No, he doesn't. The NukeFamily just spent a week talking to Mr. Kurtis for his upcoming expose on FWM and her maniacal, murderous cross-country spree. The truth will be shown. Those CSI people sent out 3 TV shows worth of people, and they came to the same conclusion that I did: FWM is worse than Manson, Dahmer, Gacy, Gein, Son of Sam, The Night Stalker and the Huffington Post. God help us all if they don't catch her.

Melisa with one S said...

Mrs 4444: JUDITH LIGHT? Ha ha, that takes me back.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UXM5INvrl-s

She was one of the best screamer/criers on OLTL. :)

Maybe she's training FWM for a tv movie or something? Then E! can do a True Hollywood Story about her.

Oscar said...

What??!?!?

Bonnie said...

From what I've read, I'm betting she is armed and dangerous. Hahahahahaha.

de-I said...

Allegedly all that FWM will eat is bland pre-prepared foods so I doubt that she would make her way down here to the Chile capital of the US.

Michelle said...

Well, I certainly hope she's armed. Life would be so much more difficult if she had no arms!

This is obviously a sign that I need to go to bed.

The Microblogologist said...

She was a wonderful apartment and lab guest! I mean yeah she did break into the 200 proof ethanol and drink all of my codeine cough syrup and eat all my chocolate but who can blame the woman. I don't drink ethanol nor coffee and didn't realize she did before going grocery shopping so she didn't get her normal cup of coffee nor her coors light, she needed something!

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