Tuesday, April 14, 2009

Make Me Laugh

I feel like a good laugh and you my dear readers can provide it! Tell me your best PG rated joke. Leave it in the comments and I will post it here with constant updates and proper link love.

To get the ball rolling:

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree?
He was Dead!

Why did the 2nd monkey fall out of the tree?
Monkey see, monkey do.

Why did the 3rd monkey fall out of the tree?
Peer pressure!

Now it's your turn! Send me those jokes.

Tom, of Being Michael's Daddy Fame, offered up this gem:

A frog walks into a bank carrying a snow globe from Atlantic City. He sits down at the desk of Miss Paddywhack, the loan officer.

"I'd like to get a loan, please," he says.

Miss Paddywhack looks at him and asks whether he has any collateral.

"Well, I have this," he says, holding up the snow globe.

She scoffs, and says "Excuse me. I have to see the manager. May I show him this, please?"

The frog hands her the snow globe and she takes it back to her manager's office.

"Sir, there's a frog out there who's asking for a loan, but he doesn't have anything to put up for it except this." she shows him the snow globe, and he examines it.

She rolls her eyes and snorts "I mean, what is this thing, anyway?"

The manager hands it back to her and says: "It's a knick-knack, Paddywhack. Give the frog a loan."

And from the Magnificent
Melisa with 1 s of Suburban Scrawl Stardom (I think this is payback for all those snarky comments about her contest):

Knock knock!
Who's there?
Banana.
Banana who?

Knock knock!
Who's there?
Banana.
Banana who?

Knock knock!
Who's there?
Banana.
Banana who?

Knock knock!
Who's there?
Banana.
Banana who?

Knock knock!
Who's there?
Orange
Orange who?
Orange you glad I didn't say banana?

Michelle of Honest and Truly, humors me with these two:

I gotta go with another knock knock...

Knock knock

Who's there?

Interrupting cow?

Interru--

MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!


Or the FIRST joke I ever learned:

What time is it when the elephant sits on the fence?

Time to get a new fence!


If Mom Says Okay's the lovely Tara left us this:

How many women does it take to change a light bulb?

None. We don't change light bulbs, we accept them for what they are.

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8 comments:

Tom said...

A frog walks into a bank carrying a snow globe from Atlantic City. He sits down at the desk of Miss Paddywhack, the loan officer.

"I'd like to get a loan, please," he says.

Miss Paddywhack looks at him and asks whether he has any collateral.

"Well, I have this," he says, holding up the snow globe.

She scoffs, and says "Excuse me. I have to see the manager. May I show him this, please?"

The frog hands her the snow globe and she takes it back to her manager's office.

"Sir, there's a frog out there who's asking for a loan, but he doesn't have anything to put up for it except this." she shows him the snow globe, and he examines it.

She rolls her eyes and snorts "I mean, what is this thing, anyway?"

The manager hands it back to her and says: "It's a knick-knack, Paddywhack. Give the frog a loan."

Melisa with one S said...

Knock knock!
Who's there?
Banana.
Banana who?

Knock knock!
Who's there?
Banana.
Banana who?

Knock knock!
Who's there?
Banana.
Banana who?

Knock knock!
Who's there?
Banana.
Banana who?

Knock knock!
Who's there?
Orange
Orange who?
Orange you glad I didn't say banana?

Michelle said...

I gotta go with another knock knock...

Knock knock

Who's there?

Interrupting cow?

Interru--

MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!


Or the FIRST joke I ever learned:

What time is it when the elephant sits on the fence?

Time to get a new fence!

Tara R. said...

How many women does it take to change a light bulb?

None. We don't change light bulbs, we accept them for what they are.

Melisa with one S said...

Hey! How come everyone else's links work, but when you click on my links it goes to http.com???

I suspect sabotage.

NukeDad said...

A horse walks into a bar, and the bartender says; "Hey, why the long face?"

Why did the frog cross the road? He was stapled to the chicken.

What's the last thing to go through a bug's mind when it hits your windshield? It's butt.

A baby polar bear walks into the kitchen and says; "Mom, am I 100% polar bear?" "Of course you are" says his Mom. He walks into the den and asks his Dad; "Dad, am I 100% polar bear?" "Well, I'm 100% polar bear, your Mom is 100% polar bear, so you MUST be 100% polar bear; why do you ask?" replies his father. "Well" says the baby polar bear; "It's just that I'm effen freezing, man!"

Thank you, I'll be here all week...

Oscar said...

The famous Olympic skier Picabo Street (pronounced Pee-Ka-Boo) is not
just an athlete . . . She is now a nurse currently working at the
Intensive Care Unit of a large metropolitan hospital. She is not
permitted to answer the hospital telephones any longer. It was causing
too much confusion whenever she would answer the phone.


When the phone rang and she answered she would say "Hello, Picabo,
I.C.U."

The Microblogologist said...

Hehehe, Melisa's is the one Niecey tries to tell but screws up every time! I love it, now I wish I had it on camera, hope no one "corrects" her before I get it!

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