Monday, April 6, 2009

The Dark Side Of The Hundred Acre Wood

Monkey Weasel's best friend in the whole entire world is Pooh Bear. She treats him like her baby, feeding and swaddling and talking to him regularly. Over the years she has accumulated a collection of Pooh Bears and treats them all with equal love. Disappointingly, he can not attend school with her. As he is a bear of very little brain. So every morning she brings him to me swaddled like this, and asks me to babysit.
When she returns from school she always asks if Pooh Bear was well behaved and never believes me or Mr. Weasel when we tell her of his wild and crazy antics and how he made us pull out our hair all day.

So today I decided to document the dark side of the Hundred Acre Wood.

First, as per usual, the rest of the gang came downstairs and they all headed straight for the liquor cabinet:
They drank so much they started seeing flying Heffalumps:
Pooh then decided to entertain his peeps by putting Monkey Weasels hamster in the hamster ball and making him Hamster Dance for his poor life while Pooh fished for cats:



Once they got bored with that, more friends were called to join the party. They grabbed some snacks and headed for the living room. Thus breaking yet another rule in Weaselville, that all food and drinks remain in the kitchen:


Seriously people, it was like a frat party around here! These guys were Phi Beta Snookered, all the way!

Soon enough, Tigger figured out the drinking and bouncing don't mix:
He swore he would not ever drink again, but that's what he said last week. So I'm not buying it.

Shortly thereafter, this is what my living room looked like:Now that folks, is exactly what happened and I have the photos to prove it!

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40 comments:

Isabella said...

LMAO! Awesome post! :D

Andrew's Daddies said...

WOW..very creative!!!!
I love the orange walls in the bathroom. You are daring with your colors. A very close friend walked into my home after I finished painting and said..."it looks like a god damn box of crayons threw up in here".

DaddyKV said...

HOLY CRAP that was awesome. Very creative. I always wondered what happened while I was at school.

Melisa with one S said...

You are HILARIOUS. I'm calling you right now to see how drunk you are after setting up these photos.

Apok said...

Dude, Pink Bear looks like she knows how to party. Can i get her digits?

ciara said...

haha i tell you, those hundred acre woods animals always seemed so innocent. i'm a little shocked!

OSCAR said...

I LOVE IT!!!!!!!!

Otter Thomas said...

Great Post! Don't you just love playing with toys.

de-I said...

Hah! The truth is out. I always figured that Tigger had to be on some sort of substance abuse but I figured it would be meth. And Eyore? A heroin addict if every I saw one. Thank goodness the truth of the 100 Acre Wood is finally out.

Tom said...

Pooh would have been wise to spend a little more time in his thoughtful spot. Tigger, well, I don't expect much out of him.

Mike said...

Cool, party at the Weasel house. Is this a BYOB (Bring your own bear) party?

Sue said...

Was anyone watching while you set this all up? Is this going to happen in your room at blogher? Maybe I am glad that Melisa and I aren't rooming with you? Amusing, very amusing!

Mrs4444 said...

Okay, now I'm really starting to worry about you.... :)

Momo Fali said...

It's just like college!

NukeDad said...

"Fishing for cats", I'm totally stealing that. Great post. I'll bet you can get Kenny Loggins to do the soundtrack.

terri said...

What a riot! I knew Pooh and friends weren't as innocent as they would have us all believe! I'm sure things get boring in that Hundred Acre Wood and they had to find something to alleviate the boredom.

Michelle said...

You rock. I am DYING over here. I'm just glad that Pooh didn't have any nightmares about woozles while ummm resting up.

Please tell me you're never going to show this to Monkey Weasel ;)

'cuz I'm the mommy, that's why! said...

Awesome storyline. Excellent staging. You have too.much.time.on.your.hands.
I'm just jealous.

WeaselMomma said...

@ Isabella ~ Glad you liked it!

@ Andrew's Daddies ~ To funny. I can't take credit for picking the color.

@ Daddy KV ~ This was much fun to do.

@ Melisa ~ Stone cold sober, I swear.

@ Apok ~ She's a party girl, but no opposable thumbs.

@ Ciara ~ Always look out for the quiet ones.

@ Oscar ~ and I'm Happy that you do.

@ Otter ~ This was tons of fun.

@ De-I ~ Just remember where you heard it 1st.

@ Tom ~ The problem is that Tigger had Pooh's thoughtful spot occupied.

@ Mike ~ Bring your own bear, but we have plenty of nuts!

@ Sue ~ The Mr. and Smallest Weasel were my assistants. Pooh is not coming to BlogHer. I can't afford that kind of bar tab.

@ Mrs4444 ~ LoL, My mind is a reaaly strange place to be.

@ Momo ~ Seiously, like Animal House II.

@ NukeDad ~ I thought you'd appreciate this.

@ Terri ~ You should hear the way they talked Christopher Robin.

@ Michelle ~ LOL, of course Monkey Weasel saw this and thought is hysterical. Now all the Weasels want me to post about their fluff filled friends.

@ 'Cuz ~ Hehehehe, this has been rattling around in my head for a while and just had to get out.

Liz said...

This is my first time to your blog and what a HILARIOUS post to find first!!! Fantastic!! I found you through CodeDaddy's blogroll and I'm not leaving!

Cheffie-Mom said...

So, this is what you do with your extra time! LOL!

Laura said...

Hey WM! I posted a comment yesterday...did it not come through? I was having trouble on McMommy's site, but hers kept telling me that I couldn't log in to blogger....yours seemed to go. Oh well...I'm glad to see you're back!

The Microblogologist said...

Having the awesome benefit of having watched you and the Mr in action convincing Niecey that your water was chocolate flavored I can totally imagine this playing out in my mind for added hilarity! Love this post!

Jason said...

LOL, that's too funny. You have too much time on your hands :D

seashore subjects said...

Forget "party like a rock star" the standard needs to be "party like pooh bear!" Better get a lock for the cabinet and talk to monkey about choosing friends more wisely!

Mrs4444 said...

Just poppin' in to say hi again :) Hope you're having a good week.

Karen said...

I hope you charge accordingly for the babysitting. That Pooh is a monster child.

Bad Momma said...

Friggin' brilliant! I need to do a documentary on my son's Webkinz! Might give him second thoughts about leaving them laying around!

dad-blogs said...

That rules! Toyz in the Wood! You know, instead of boyz in the hood? LOL

The Father of Five said...

I've always wondered....

It's "Toy Story gone wild"

McMommy said...

I want to write something really witty here but I can't.

Once I saw Tigger puking his brains out, it was all over.

I was laughing so hard I started crying. I can barely see the screen right now.

WeaselMomma said...

@ Liz ~ I'm glad to have you here, welcome.

@ Cheffie ~ You know what they say about idle hands.

@ Laura ~ No, it never came through, but I did get your card. TY.

@ Micro ~ It was a lot of fun to shoot. The Mr. and smallest Weasel helped me.

@ Jason ~ My mind wanders to some fairly strange places.

@ Seashore ~ Seriously, Monkey needs to reevaluate who she's hanging with.

@ Karen ~ I do deserve much better wages.

@ Bad Momma ~ I'm glad that you liked it!

@ Dad Blogs ~ Great name for the feature motion picture.

@ Father of Five ~ I think I could make millions, if they could sign the release forms.

@ McMommy ~ You should have seen when I made him scrub the toilet later on.

nonnasnonsense said...

you are soooo warped, but at least in a hilariously funny way :)

MaNiC MoMMy™ said...

Hilarious, I LOVE IT!

DadUnmasked said...

This was SOO awesome! I never knew Pooh and the crew could party like that!

Tales of Cheerios and Sleepless Nights said...

It's been a slow day at work and I've been perusing your blog. I kept seeing references to how rowdy Pooh Bear is and just HAD to check out this post. HILARIOUS!!! I'd love to know what your daughter thought.

WhiteBullie said...

Thanks for the laugh! Reminds me of my original blog I started for my dog. Picture of him and some crazy story. Too bad Blogsvertise doesn't accept Myspace bogs anymore :(

The Quizzical Observer said...

I haven't laughed at a blog post so much since I stumbled across the Feminist Mormon Housewives. As a life-long lover of AA Milne, and a believer that weasels are automatically funny, I long to abandon my house, home and family, swim the Atlantic, and kidnap you to live a life of fun and laughter with small stuffed animals. You know it makes sense.

MandyE said...

OK...so I came back for a little more weasel love...and I just laughed out loud. I almost snorted a jelly bean through my nose (not to over-share). Thanks for the laugh!

lee said...

so cute that your daughter asked you to babysit her stuffed animal while she was in school. My daughter will start preschool this fall, so I may have to suggest that option (mom will babysit your animals for you). I'm guessing though that this report never made it to your daughter...

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