When In-Laws Become Family

Happy Fatherhood Friday everyone! Welcome to first time visitors and old friends alike.

As late as last night, I had nothing for you today. Nothing interesting or funny to share not that I ever do. And then my phone rang. It was my brother-in-law, "So, what are you doing for breakfast?", was the greeting. Being that he lives about 12 hours away, my immediate response was "Having breakfast with you?". Ding, ding, ding, ding. I answered right!

He would be passing through the area to visit his parents and driving all through the night, but would be here in time for breakfast and a few hour visit. I just welcomed him at the door (5am) and showed him to a bed.

I love that he is here, even if our visit will be short lived. He doesn't have to be. He is choosing to fit us into his tight schedule because he wants to.

He has 3 daughters, almost all grown, and his wife died a few years back. We are the in-laws. In-laws that he has no obligation to. In-laws that he could just write off and be done with. Many of us I plead the 5th would love the opportunity to be done with our in-laws. But he makes a regular effort to keep in touch and keep the relationship going, always making time to stop in when he's with-in a hundred miles.

In reality I should hate this guy. I was only 13 the first time that we met. He told me that I looked like Ralph Machio and he was kind of right. Thanks for the bad haircut mom(you can stop laughing anytime now). This is not what a teen girl needs to hear. Our relationship was off to a rocky start.

I was still in high school when he married my sister and within a few years moved out of state, taking my much loved nieces and sister with him. Strike two.

As years passed, I remained close with my sister. We would visit back and forth with our families. His home was always open to us, but he didn't have much in the way of choice about it, he was married.

Over time we did enjoy each others company and got along better and better, but always in the context of my sister telling him he had to being our strongest bond.

It's now been 23 years since the Ralph Machio incident and we have found much more common ground than I would have ever thought possible. I almost feel bad for all those times in High School when I hid his car keys or gave him bad driving directions. Almost, but not quite.

In the past few years we have come to recognize that we would want to hang out together, even had he never married into the family. We share jokes and wine and memories and I am glad we do.

I am glad that he is here because he wants to be. I am glad that he feels welcomed and wanted and more than just an in-law, but also a friend. But most of all, I am glad that he brought me a bottle of my favorite ice wine from a great little winery near his home.

I better go pick up some bagels.