Thursday, August 13, 2009

Check Out The View

Ever since our return from vacation, life in Weaselville has been filled with back to school preparations. School physicals, eye exams, paperwork, dental cleanings, etc. We still have lots to do and haven't even gotten to supply lists yet. All work and no play makes for cranky Weasels, myself included.

So the other day when Monkey Weasel had a birthday party to attend at a water park, I seized the opportunity to take the entire gang sans poor, thank God he's working, Mr. Weasel to frolic and swim while Monkey spent time with friends. I love impromptu fun!

The weather was beautiful, for one of the first times all summer, and it was a perfect day on the schedule to just kick back and enjoy. We donned our suits and hit the pools and slides. I am so glad that we did. Fun was had by all. Smallest Weasel hit the water slides for the first time ever - and loved it! We all took turns racing each other down the slides and having Smallest Weasel practice her swimming skills back and forth between us.

I also got to do a good deal of observing people in their pool habitat. Here are some of my thoughts:

  • No matter how many daily sit-ups you do, if you are 45+ and have the leathery skin of a brontosaurus from years of tanning salons, do not wear a string bikini. You look ridiculous and it hurts my eyes.
  • There is no need to wear 35 lbs of jewelry to the pool. Seriously, you will only sink to the bottom of the deep end, weighted down with more efficiency than mafia would bother with.
  • If you went ahead with the tummy tuck and liposuction on your thighs, wouldn't you get a discount on the trifecta package and get the face lift too? You look like you've had a full body transplant.
  • If you look like you are 6 months pregnant, but haven't been in 6 years, skip past the skimpy bikinis while shopping. I swear I heard whale song.
  • Older moms seem to be trying to live in the denial of aging, by wearing suits intended for teens. While younger mom's seem to be going for medium, yet flattering coverage.
  • Older moms should take a page from the younger moms book. Look harder and you can find something more flattering and appropriate for the pool.
So a great day with the Weasels and a few chuckles to boot. Sounds like a win/win to me.

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Tara R. said...

One day at the beach, I'm hoping it was a tourist, a 'healthy' older woman apparently forgot to pack her bathing suit and jumped into the Gulf waters clad only in a t-shirt and her granny sized whitie tighties. Water and white cotton do not mix.

What are these people thinking? We may need a support group to help us recover from our visual trauma.

BeautifulWreck said...

My aunt is an older mom and she can't get over how some of the older moms are dressing. Now she dresses cute and casual, and not like she is a grandmother (she is in her 50s and has a seven year old). Down here we see it all in ways of people in a bathing suit. We really do not want to see all of your fleshiness. LOL

PJ Mullen said...

People watching is hysterical. Sometimes you just wonder what is going on in some people's heads. Then again, people probably wonder the same about me as I stroll through the mall, ipod on with four days of stubble on my face.

seashore subjects said...

How fun! We have been to the water park a lot this summer and it has been really fun to watch the mothers of the toddlers - some hovering, some with hands on hips - unsure what to do, some actually playing. Watching people is half the fun!

Smallprint said...


My brother just left for a holiday in France, and the pool has a 'speedo' type tight costume only policy for males.

I can not work out the logic - but he was dreading strutting his stuff!


Teacher Tom said...

Oh Weasel Momma, I hope nobody listens to you!

We spend 10 months of the year in our rain gear around here. I love seeing a little (or a lot) of flesh when the sun shines, even if it's the leathery, doughy, pasty and/or wrinkly kind.

I say let it all hang out! Don't listen to Weasel Momma! =)

de-I said...

I know how much you enjoy the summer without all the pressures of the school routine so make sure you enjoy these last few weeks.

But I am very upset that you don't think that the string bikini will work on my any more :(

Steely Dad said...

I went to the pool today. Not sure why everyone was laughing and pointing at me. I mean, what, hasn't anyone seen a man wearing a sequenced g-string Speedo? I mean, come on people, it's certainly big but it's not a big deal.

DysFUNctional Mom said...

Every time we go to the beach I am AMAZED by what I see. And wish I did NOT see. Some people have no sense of decency.

Michelle said...

What, you were hanging out at the pool at our gym? There are times I *really* wonder what people are thinking. Going to the pool, always one of those times. The only other category of people you forgot was the teen boys who apparently now wear their underwear under their trunks... and then swim with t-shirts and socks on. Weird. Really weird.

surprised mom said...

A kindly relative just gave me a swimsuit. I loved it. My youngest wants to wear it as a mini-dress. We're about the same height. Get the picture?
Since I am not the picture of beauty and have that wonderful very pale "Irish" skin that shines like a beacon in the night (and have more flesh than I want to own up to), I try not to show off any more skin than necessary. Hence, I haven't been near water most of the summer or have been wet, unless I get sprayed by a random sprinkler.
It sounds like the Weasels had a blast! I'm glad you are enjoying the few hot days of summer.

Janie Woods said...

I LOVE people watching at waterparks and pools! It makes me feel soooo much better about my own body and my swimsuit choices! I told a friend recently, "I wish people would learn to go age/size appropriate." I recently asked Richard Simmons, "When did rolls of fat hanging over too small swimsuits become attractive?" Whenever it did, I want the mirror THEY use....Maybe they should turn the lights on AFTER they get dressed and look again!

NukeDad said...

You know I'm with you on this one as I have posted about it a couple of times. If you look like a turkey in a french fry bag you're doing more harm than good. Go with a one piece. Men-trunks should be almost to the knee; there are kids around for crying out loud! No banana hammocks!

Wineplz said...

The older moms wearing age/body inappropriate swimsuits--I've noticed this odd phenomenon at my pool as well! Do you live in my neighborhood? LOL
I don't get it. What is it about women about 7-12 years older that think they look alright in a bright pink Hello Kitty itty bikini with their dunlap belly and sagging boobs? Seriously? Maybe we ought to get them on "What Not to Wear - Swimsuit Edition".

BTW, glad to have met you at are one funny lady!

terri said...

I always wonder where people get their confidence when at the pool. Personally, I'm happiest in a tankini. For most of us, there is a short window of opportunity for wearing bikinis and it ends with the first pregnancy.

Big Bad Daddy said...

I'm of two minds on this one, and I have a few answers. First, sagging, drooping, and leathery are definitely not good adjectives when describing bodies in bathing suits and I am in complete agreement that covering up is in order. I also am in favor however of "older" women who are in great shape *and* comfortable in their own skin wearing two piece bathing suits. Let me clarify something, "great shape" is not necessarily beanpole skinny. I happen to be blessed with living in a town where "fitness" is the keyword, everyone from 6 to 60 hikes, bikes runs, skis, snowboards, get the picture. So the community pool,....not a bad place. Hell, the post office, not a bad place. I think it's a good model for my girls, healthy, confident women who take care of themselves and enjoy life.

@Michelle - re:teen boys - they wear their underwear under their trunks for a few reasons, 1. no one told them not to. 2. They are so skinny and the trunks are so baggy, the trunks don't stay up otherwise. 3. "Boardshorts" which are the defacto boys swim trunks these days, don't have any liners in them. I was quite sick recently and lost about 20 pounds in the process and have had to wear something under my boardshorts a few times recently because my shorts are a little loose now and it's better than putting on a crack show if you know what I mean.

Jason said...

You are hilarious! I am just glad to meet another human being that fails to appreciate the leathery look of the tanning bed Bettys. However, I am not sure if brontosauruses would take offense to your comparisons. ;-)

Anonymous said...

totally agree with the no fatties in bikinis philosophy. oh, and when did it become ok to wear a bikini when you are about to give birth??? what ever happened to maternity clothes? now-a-days it seems like the trend is to either not cover the belly at all or to cover it in something skin tight. am i just an old fuddy-duddy or what?

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