Tuesday, August 18, 2009

Mac The Cat Speaks

*Today I have a Special Guest Post for you, by none other than Mac The Cat*

Hello all. Allow me introduce myself. I am Mac. You may remember me from such post as Ho, Ho, Ho'n in Weaselville and my cameo in The Dark Side of the Hundred Acre Wood. I have been residing in Weaselville for the past two years, ever since I conned Mr. Weasel into thinking I would be friendly to him and fun to cuddle up with. Today I am here with a public service message for all of you Tom Cats out there.

Tom Cats, do you ever get that "I've been neutered feeling"? With no one to climb the front tree with and talk to because you don't know who the heck your daddy is? You can't talk to the vet, because he is the one who amputated you in the first place? Your mind says, Yes! Yes!, but your body says, Meh?

Do you ever think to yourself, "I should want it but I don't. This never happens to other cats my age"? You see that sweet little calico climbing the banister, like she was born for the pole, and yet nothing? You've forced yourself to give it the old college try, cause let's face it, it's the only thing gonna shut up her incessant begging and whining, only to have her mock you to all the other cats because you weren't up to the job?

If you can relate, boy do I have good news for you. There is this wonderful product called Cat Nip! No, you will still won't be able to please that little calico in your life, but a few whiffs of this stuff and you really won't care! You will feel like Super-Kitty, no matter what your shortcomings.

So there you have it, Cat Nip. The solution to all of your Tom Cat problems. Now don't forget to regularly puke up a hairball on the carpeting, just to get some payback to those that did this to you in the first place.

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20 comments:

surprised mom said...

Mac the Cat is just too funny. I think he's been given advice to my cat, Whitley. Thrown up hair balls gallore. I feel like shaving Whitley.
I am not giving Whitley cat nip, no way, no how. That's all I would need. Besides, Whitley is older, about 13, no need to witness a cat heart attack.
BTW, I don't know if I mentioned it before, but I really love the addition to your blog header. Just beautiful.

Nukedad said...

So, Mac the cat meets Mack the Knife? I resemble that remark.

Sadia said...

Love it!

My husband was anti-catnip for years. His argument? If we don't do drugs, our pets don't drugs either.

Teacher Tom said...

I probably shouldn't admit this, but as teenagers some of us "tried" catnip . . . It dosen't work on people! =)

BeautifulWreck said...

LMAO... I wonder if that will work for men too.

PJ Mullen said...

Got to love cat crack. Our furry little friend doesn't get it as often as he would like, but that's ok, little man likes to share his goldfish with the fur ball.

S3XinthePantry said...

I also love the bright header & Mac's post!

Oscar said...

This is from Oscars Cat, "Mr. Kitty" (yes a pittiful lazy assed name but thats what he calls me)

I so want to use the P word, It'd make this response hysterical, but we'll work clean.

"Party Kitty"


Meow baby....

King of New York Hacks said...

don't forget to regularly puke up a hairball on the carpeting...LOL

Michelle said...

Oh I love watching cats on cat nip. It's so worth the pain and destruction that ensues.

Mr. Man said...

Wow! Mac took it to another level when he wrote that the calico looked like "she was born for the pole". Hilarious! You always make me chuckle out loud.

Janie Woods said...

LMAO!! My cat is a psychotic Hemingway cat that we've had for about four years. I grew fresh catnip in the garden and he destroyed it all in one day!

"She was born for the pole"...Hysterical! Great job, WM!!

Stacey said...

Mac, if I ever get another cat, I'm hoping he doesn't find you! ;-)

Gertrude Groggins - said...

Love it! I saw a rug this weekend that said:
Caution, cat cannot hold liquor.

Gertrude Groggins - said...

I meant cat cannot hold IT'S liquor.

Tom said...

So, if you're gettin' the snip, go for the nip. Sage advice.

de-I said...

WM, WM, WM - I can't believe the stress of having all the kids back in school is driving you to become a catnip pusher!

Mrs4444 said...

OMG, Weaselmomma (I mean Mac, of course). That's hilarious. Glad you've found some relief!

Wineplz said...

I made the mistake of buying hairball remedy for my cats...they usually puke up a petroleum or beeswax covered hairball. It's awesome. At least now I know they're doing it because I snipped their boyparts 10+ years ago. I thought it was because they just liked seeing me slip and fall in it.

The Microblogologist said...

It is never dull in Weaselville!

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