Wednesday, January 20, 2010

Did You Ever......

Did you ever have a rushed, busy and stress filled 9 months day? The kind of day that nothing really went wrong, but nothing really went right either? You know the kind of day that felt as if it lasted forever, but yet still didn't have enough hours in it to accomplish all that you needed?

And at the end of that day you drag yourself up the stairs to the comfort of your bed, even though you still need to go to the store to pick up some necessities before the morning dawns and your husband isn't even home from work yet.

Soon you are aroused from a semi sleeping state to find your husband home and kissing you goodnight by telling you that he already went to the store for you on his way home and just when you thought that you couldn't love him any more than you already do he starts to give you a soft relaxing and unsolicited massage that goes on forever and is so gentle that you practically melt.

You sleep like a baby and wake in the morning feeling thoroughly refreshed. That is until you attempt to wake up the Weasels for school and start making lunches only to discover that Smallest Weasel had wet her bed and needs a bath and fresh linens and that Mr. Weasel has to leave early for work and that Eldest doesn't feel well and that Middle Weasel won't get out of bed and that Monkey Weasel is losing it because she can't find find her cuddle blanket (that you find right next to her bed) and both Boy & Middle Weasel slacked on their chore to clean up the kitchen post dinner last night and you don't have clean thermoses to pack school lunches with.

You eventually get everyone off for their day and stop at the store for a few things that you had forgotten to put on the list. You move quickly into the self checkout and attempt to pay with your debit card only to have the system take forever before announcing loudly 'Card Declined' and in between heart palpitations you swipe the card again trying to comfort yourself with thoughts of 'maybe I just keyed in the pin wrong' only to have that digital voice announce to everyone within a 50 ft radius 'Card Declined' and you don't know why, but you try it a 3rd time with the same result only you swear that the volume of that *&$%@ inside the terminal gets louder each time.

Finally you are let off the hook by a clerk that informs you "Maam, our debit system is down" and you breath a sigh of relief as you walk to the ATM, punch in your digits and hold your breath in prayer until you hear the relieving swoosh, swoosh, swoosh of cash being dispensed. You finish your purchase and race to your car, without a coat, on this chilly morning.

Upon returning home you realize that you forgot to kennel the dog before leaving the house and now you have to clean up her artistic showing of displeasure that you left her at home. Now and only now you see the aftermath of 5 Weasels having had breakfast and hot lunches made, along with the holdover mess from last nights dinner.

At this point all you want is your Massage Boy back.

Yeah, me neither.

On a semi-related note Gunfighter of A Modern Warriors Life has a post today all about what Men and Women really want. It's good and comprehensive post, but he forgot to list Massage Boy.

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17 comments:

john cave osborne said...

message sounded like it almost did the trick, but that it ultimately came up just short.

my suggestion? moonshine!

WhiteBullie said...

Thanks for sharing that.
I recently was thinking of doing a post about my long stressful day but didn't think it was time. Maybe it is?

Gunfighter said...

Dude.

I might have to follow up on this at my place!

Tom said...

Naah, that never happens here. Everything's always smooth sailing.
I'm sure my wife could use the kind of massage you mentioned, though... I'll try it and see if that helps things a bit.

PJ Mullen said...

The debit card thing happened to me the other day at the self checkout, I was about to commit hari kari until I found a store employee (who is NEVER there when things actually go wrong) and discovered that their system too was down. Good lord that will get the old ticker racing.

Busy-Dad-E said...

Massage Boy always wins you big time husband points. When Mom-E and I were dating, I gave her a massage once while we were watching a movie and she fell asleep. Turns out she thought the massage lasted about 20 minutes, when in fact it was 2 hours.

Melisa with one S said...

I sorta had a feeling about where this was going from the very beginning; call it a hunch!

There's always tomorrow...and, it could always be worse. And all that jazz. ;)

Tara R. said...

That would never happen in my house... my kids would refuse to eat out of a thermos.

(Hope you have a better day tomorrow.)

WeaselMomma said...

@ JCO ~ That must wait for a weekend when I can be off duty.

@ White Bullie ~ Just try not to be as whiny as I was.

@ Gunfighter ~ I would love that.

@ Tom ~ Oh, it will help. Even if only in the short term.

@ PJ ~ Yeah, it's not my preferred way to get my cardio.

@ BusyDad-E ~ I love massage boy. He makes me want to get a pool, just so he can be my pool boy too!

@ Melisa ~ Have I become that predictable? Where was this post going anyway? I'm really not sure.

@ Tara ~ I just hope I get another special massage tonight!

de-I said...

Jeez Louise - I was exhausted just reading that let alone having to go through it!

NukeDad said...

Massage Boy? He lets you get away with calling him that? Hmm...

Mike said...

Near perfect days are not in the cards here. However, I do sympathize with the debt card fiasco. Had it happen the other day. Scared the **it out of me...

WeaselMomma said...

@ de-I ~ It's all in a days work, sir.

@ NukeDad ~ Yup, as long as he gets a great tip, that is.

@ Mike ~ Seriously, Those were some 'okay, try not to panic' minutes.

Mr. Man said...

Nah, those days NEVER happen. *smirk*

Oscar said...

Just another day in Paradise...

Just a message?

Otter Thomas said...

You make me tired just reading your story. I hope you get another massage soon.

Mrs4444 said...

Oh, come on. Really? You didn't get that massage? Tell me I'm wrong..

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