Tuesday, January 27, 2009

Classified

Position Sought
Live - in Housekeeper

Offerings:
Cooking, cleaning, windows, laundry (wash, dry and fold), toilets so sparkly Mr. Clean would be jealous (must have a clean place to puke after a good happy hour), happy hour pal, confidant and BFF.

Requirements and Compensation:
Warm climate year round, Living quarters fit for 7, love of (house broken) Weasels, unending supply of Coors Light, a 'it's 5 o'clock somewhere' attitude, in ground pool, 9-5 working hours. Must not be opposed to me blogging about you and your family. Salary negotiable.

Doesn't that sound like a great deal?

Nothing has popped yet for Mr. Weasel. He is starting to seriously going to talk to a company in Canada about a relocation package. I don't want to go to Canada. I really don't want to go to Canada. I would rather clean toilets and be warm.

Who wants a sparkly toilet?

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26 comments:

OhCaptain said...

This ain't Canada and we've been looking for an Alice...tell me more about this "warm" concept you speak of. We have forced air heat. Does that count?

Miss Lisa said...

I could not even think of going to Canada in January--brrrrrr!

Tom said...

Well... no in-ground pool here, it isn't warm year-round, and we don't even have accommodations for the six who live here regularly... but you're welcome to come and pitch in with the toilet scrubbing! Lord knows I don't much like doing it.

Hang in there. Something has to spring up soon.

terri said...

Don't believe OhCaptain. It's still below zero here today. I have a better idea. Let's make a blogger commune and just live off the land and blog all day long. Of course we'll have to throw massive parties with lots of Coors Light now and then to keep the blog material lively.

Daddy Dan said...

I'd hire you. We meet all of your requirements except the room for seven. Hope Mr. Weasel finds something soon!

By the way, love your new blog design!

Momo Fali said...

My husband's new job keeps him at the office from 8:30 to after 10:00 PM most nights. I'm glad he has a job, but we sure miss him. Canada doesn't sound half bad.

OhCaptain said...

Trust me, not Terri. My forced air heat works beautifully! We even have multiple zones and 7 day programmable thermostats. You've seen pictures of the house, lots of windows! It's toasty in our house even without the heat. Pfftt...just don't go outside. It's overrated.

WeaselMomma said...

@ Captain ~ It's close to Canada to freeze my butt off! I'm not falling for that.

@ Lisa ~ It hurts just to think about, but desperate times....

@ Tom ~ Oregon is milder than here. Maybe you could think about an addition to the house, lol.

@ Terri ~ A nice warm commune sounds great. Who's going to work the land while I blog?

@ Dan ~ Thanks, CA is warm, building an addition soon?

@ Momo ~ Canada would be crazy hours too. I hope you get your hubby back soon and that he manages to find something more suitable hours wise.

Rhonda said...

Yeah my hubby's home now but was gone for over a month going to where the work was (farrr out of town). So yah...it sucked but it's a job. I totally get you not wanting to go to Canada too. What a tough spot to be in. (HUGS)

I need a maid bad. But we have 8 ppl in a 1600 sq ft house. You wanna have the front room? It has two couches and floor space for sleeping. lol But you have to cook too. haha

Anonymous said...

Hang in there. If you send me his resume, I'll push it for you.

Anonymous said...

Canada isn't so bad. They have a beautiful National Anthem! :D

Melisa Wells said...

Tell you what: you work in my house for once-a-week cookie dough, and you'll still live close enough to your family to visit frequently.

nonna said...

you are hired on the spot!! we will remodel the rest of the baccy barn to accomodate you. if you do all the cooking and cleaning we will handle all yard work. will have to make do with above ground pool, but there are plenty of rivers that are great to swim, fish, fu...um have fun in.

when should we expect you?

WeaselMomma said...

@ Rhonda ~ Thanks for the offer, but I don't know if we would fit in 1 room.

@ Oscar ~ will send it along. I think I have your e-mail.

@ Janed ~ Canada is lovely, it's just cold.

@ Melisa ~ Not if I can't pay the mortgage. Is your basement finished?

@ Nonna ~ Let's negotiate salary! As soon as we have a place to sleep and sell the house we'll be there.

Mike said...

If you guys don't mind living in a tent in the backyard and sharing it with the dog, you can come work at our house.

Of course you'd have to put up with near 70 degree weather year round. Live with sea breezes coming through the windows. More bars within walking distance than you can shake a stick at. And a fridge stocked most of the time with import beer and a wine closet.

And of course my crazy family would give you plenty to write about.

Nah, on second thought, who'd want any of that...

Momisodes said...

I wish I could hire you! But the rain/sleet/snow we had today may not be what you're looking for.

We're in the same boat on the job front. I don't think we could do Cananda, though.

Anonymous said...

I really like the idea of someone cleaning toilets but having de-childized my home some 10 years ago I'm not sure I'm ready for 5 junior weasels :)

Michelle said...

Oh my. You don't want to go to Canada, although really Chicago isn't THAT far off from it (having spent enough time there). Mr Weasel isn't by chance in finance or risk is he? Fingers crossed something better and closer pops SOON.

The Microblogologist said...

I am so loving the commune idea! Need to get others to do the heavy work and then that garden is mine!

I could totally fit you but definitely not the rest, two bedroom apartments with one bedroom taken over by plants does not fit too many people. And of course the weather is horrid, though you wouldn't have to go outside much, just out to the car to help carry in the Coors Light!

seashore subjects said...

My sis has a lovely house for sale, with an inground pool, in a very warm climate...You can blog about whatever, but no jobs, sorry.

Texasholly said...

Crap. I can't fulfill ALL the obligations and that sounds like quite a deal...

Canada won't know what hit 'em.

Mama Smurf said...

I live in MI...MI is neighbors with Canada....MI is cold. Very cold. But I do keep my thermostat set at 80 so let let me know if you're interested.

Big Bad Daddy said...

Am I the only Canadian that reads this blog? I can't believe all the haters! Saying Canada is cold is like saying Americans are ignorant...........(did anyone throw anything at the computer?) Anyhoo moving on, Canada is cold sometimes, in some places. We haven't had snow in two weeks or more, it's even been above 0º, I mean 32º here in the last week. The sun is shining, stuff is melting. Isn't Chicago called the "Windy City"? Haven't you all been complaining about snow/sleet/freezing rain for months now?

That said we have a Treehouse.........

Mrs4444 said...

Can't he work for that company but live here?! Mr.4444, too, is getting kind of desperate; there is a promising opportunity, but I'm not sure he'll be happy there. You gotta do what you gotta do, right? But I'm sure we will both land where we're supposed to be. Love you....

As Cape Cod Turns said...

We don't have warm weather year round, but supposedly it doesn't "snow" much here. (I am not sure who made up that rule). Anyway, I can offer horses in the back yard and a beach 1 1/2 miles away. I would LOVE a clean toilet and someone to help with the never ending dishes!

nonna said...

wait a minute, salary? you mean i have to pay to house and feed your brood? hmmm i might have to rethink this idea. do you take a newly aspiring metal artists practice pieces as payments? i know! i will just rent you a plot of land and you can grow some of those kinky carrots and sell them on ebay. or better yet..just start selling stuff outta hubby's barns and grain bins on ebay. i'm sure it would take him years to notice :)

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