Wednesday, January 7, 2009

United Rodents Local 308

Lately when I say something to any given Weasel, like "clear the table for dinner" I get a response to the effect of "My job was to empty the dishwasher". If I ask a Weasel to wipe off the counter" I get "but I'm the floor sweeper".

If Boy Weasel is asked to change the trash, he will take it out of the can, tie it up and take it into the garage, but does not replace the bag. He thinks that is someone else's responsibility.

If I ask Middle Weasel to pick up the art supplies from the counter, I hear "That's not my mess". If it's a matter of asking Eldest Weasel to clean the litter box, the answer always seems to be "But that Monkey Weasels pet, I fed the hamsters".

When it comes to laundry, I wash the entire families white socks together. If I don't have time time to sort the bloody nightmare load right out of the dryer, I will dump then onto the couch (so no one can sit until they are put away) and ask the Weasels as individuals to pick their own socks out of the pile and put them away. This does not compute. It is someone else's job to do the sorting. They are only able to put their own pre-sorted socks away. They seem content to sit on the floor and stare at the socks claiming "none of those are mine".

If I ask a Weasel to do a chore that is not typically on their individual to do list, I am rebutted with the question "Am I going to be paid for this?".

This perplexed me. Then all of a sudden I figured it out. The light bulb turned on in my head. All became instantly clear. They think this is a union shop! They think this is a place where specific predetermined duties are there only personal responsibilities and are stated in a theoretical contract that is to be renegotiated if anything extra is asked of them. They expect overtime pay and holidays.

They are wrong. Very wrong. Management will not sign. I point them back to Our Weasel Constitution, explain that this is a monarchy and remind them that striking will only result in grounding.

Just for the record, skip the hate mail. This is not a dis' on Union workers, so save it.

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21 comments:

Melisa with one S said...

Sounds like you don't have anything to worry about unless they can find a Union spokesperson. :)

Chris H said...

I am the 'Queen' in this house too.. what I say goes! Tis the only way to maintain your sanity.

Laura said...

Oh boy, I am sooo *excited* to learn that this does not change as they grow!! We keep reminding them that with #5 on the way, they will have to pick up more chores, but the favorite tag line here is "it's not faaaaaiiiiiir!!!!"...to which we answer, "no, it's not, but it all works out in the end", but their ears are turned off! Oh well, someday they'll all be out of the house & I'll hire a maid who can't complain b/c I WILL be paying her! :)

Bad Momma said...

It's high time you write up clear, concise job descriptions. When your expectations as "Sweat Shop Boss" are not met, you need to "Write Them Up" and send a copy to your HR Department.

I think you should make them hold a special election for a spokesperson (sorry, Melisa-one-S). I bet they will not be able to agree and their "Union" will fall apart!!!!

Their 1st mistake is to think they live in a democracy and have any real options other than to do as you say!

nonna said...

i'm sure i've said all of those things to my mom growing up, but for the life of me i can't come up with one reply that she used.

oh, wait...i think it's coming back to me...

"i don't care whose job it is. I told you to do it and if you don't want to get smacked in the face you better stop talking back and do what i said."

that usually worked :)

Tom said...

Dang, I was all set to jump on the Anti-Union bandwagon.

Anyway... I'm with you on the concept. It's a dictatorship, and the plebes better figure it out quick.

nonna said...

i LOVE your new page!! that header is freaking awesome! Nap Warden is my new hero. sorry, he knocked you outta that spot :)

Oscar said...

Well do what all normal Union folk do when they are not satisfied. Strike. I had a similar problem with laundry. I stopped doing everyones laundry and did my own.

I cleaned up the messes. Put it where i thought it should go. Sometimes I thought it was trash, so, sorry, If you'd have put it away, you'd have known whatwas what. Etc.

Worked.

Loved your constitution!

Momo Fali said...

My daughter not only doesn't help, but she every single one of her socks are inside out every time. A friend of mine suggested leaving them inside out and putting them in her drawer that way.

Weaselmomma said...

@ Melisa ~ I am sure that Eldest would volunteer to be shop steward. But there will be no organizing.

@ Chris ~ It's the only way.

@ Laura ~ It just gets better every day!

@ Bad Momma ~ I did, it's our Constitution. Too bad they don't read it.

@ Nonna ~ You can be my union breaker. And sniff, sniff. I'm not your hero anymore?

@ Tom ~ This is not a Democracy! Nor will it ever be. Glad to know I'm not alone.

@ Oscar ~ I have gone on full blown strike in the past. It works, but their memory spans are short.

@ Momo ~ You are not alone. There is even a helpline 1-800- Weasel.

@

Sabrae Carter said...

lol wow... i dont' know how to comment on this! lol just make them do it! lol

de-I said...

Great new page header!

The business consultant in me just screams for job descriptions, performance measures, regular reviews, accountability systems....pant, pant, pant.

terri said...

That sounds exactly like MY life. My theory is that if they irritate you enough, it won't be so hard to see them go when they leave home.

OhCaptain said...

We've been tying participation in some fun family activity to everyone working together to get a job done. Seems to be working. It could just all be an illusion. It could be that sheer awesomeness of your new blog design has restored harmony to the world. My goodness this place looks awesome.

Michelle said...

Oh I love the new digs! Great header.

And ummm let me know how your union busting goes. I'm somehwat concerned about what the future holds, and I want to know any strategies I can possible use.

Mike said...

Oh dear god your house sounds just like mine. I yell and tell them that justice will be mine if they don't do as told.

They laugh and point fingers at me. No respect...

nonna said...

how about if your my co-hero? or if you can convice seashore that she doesn't need her training bonus money, that they have taken away from her, (like teachers make sooo much money to start with!) to come up for blogher then you will win it back. i actually asked her about it. i'm hoping she can find a cheap ticket to tn and then we can drive up together. hopefully we will be able to swing the hotel room, but we might be camping at your house :)

The Microblogologist said...

That wasn't at all how it worked when I was forced to be in a union (I am ok with the right to be in a union but what about the right to not?) when I was a deli slave. I did what I was told to do when I was told to do it. The union took my money and screwed all of us over when the contract expired and we needed a new one. All they were good for was taking my money, sending me anti-walmart hate mail, and donating the money I didn't even want to give them to the political campaigns of the candidates I found the most vile. Unions have their place but there is just too much corruption in so many that they cause more harm than good in so many places.

That aside the weasels should totally know better, you are so the boss!

seashore subjects said...

I believe the phrases mentioned must be handed out at some secret kid meeting that we do not remember from our own youth. It must be true, as the phrases are practically identical across the country and through the ages!

Mama Smurf said...

We have much in common Weaselmomma!

Mrs4444 said...

My son does the SAME THING with the garbage! And the sock thing? Kendall gave me some coupons for Christmas one year: "Sock Sorting without compaint." I'm all out of coupons...guess I should ask for some more for my birthday?!

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